This was something I tweeted on December 17th:
"Sometimes we have to clean out the closet of our heart to allow more good things inside"
I have been chewing on this little statement for a while and felt that it needed more than 140 characters. I do love Twitter, I must confess, but I wanted to share more when it came to this. Cleaning out our closet is not just about confession, although that seems to be the first thing we think of.
I don't have a huge closet at home, thank God. That regulates my shopping. And I find myself cleaning it out a couple times each year. Sometimes, I find things that I just don't wear anymore, because of various reasons (they don't fit, they are dated, they look too much like something I already had) and I make a choice to part with them. I make that choice to eliminate clutter, and to make room for something better.
I believe that our hearts need much the same. We hold on to things sometimes that we have absolutely NO reason to. And IF we just let go, I think we would all be made better. We would have much more room to accept, enjoy, make peace and live life joyfully with the items we CHOOSE to hold on to. We would give our "closet" (our heart) room to hold more, and store things that mean the most to us, instead of housing items that take up unnecessary room and are not needed or utilized.
And you know what I have learned from cleaning out my closet? I have learned to be wise with what I choose to put in there from now on. I choose more carefully now what I let in, and I guard and care for what is in there.
I did some closet cleaning this year in my heart. It freed me up to love with more conviction and intent, it gave me more peace than I had before, and it opened my eyes to the things I really needed. Sure, it was hard to part with a few things, but in the end, I didn't really need them anyway.
Will you clean out your closet? Will you allow yourself to part with things that clutter your life and make room for the things you need the most?
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
35 Candles...
In honor of my (ahem) 35th Birthday, I decided to make a list of items that are "candles" in my life, points of light that burn bright in my heart and life, whether it be a friendship, good cup of coffee, or a defining moment forever living in my memory. So, here goes, and of course, they are not in order of importance. WARNING: some will be very poignant and some of them may be ultra shallow...but still, they have made me happy or given me joy in some way.
1. Leading Worship at Hopepark and offering that gift up.
2. Making my Momma pee in her pants.
3. Going to the register only to find that the clearance is an additional 25% off.
4. Kneeling in front of someone and fitting them with a new pair of shoes for Soles4Souls
5. Meeting my soulmate someday.
6. Being around the house when the Today Show comes on and being able to hear the theme song and watch the opening credits.
7. Making a baby smile.
8. Getting random texts or letters from people in my life, near and far. It's like a butterfly kiss.
9. Dreaming about my future and what my story is left to be.
10. A great cup of coffee from Starbucks.
11. Hearing my friend Tami laugh.
12. Hot Wings...VERY HOT WINGS.
13. Looking back and seeing how something difficult in my life has made me grow....
14. Days when my Bible Study is a DIRECT correlation to my present circumstance. When God does that, I am always floored.
15. People who humbly share their story with authentic passion.
16. Paxville, SC Sunsets
17. A letter from Leigh-Ann McCune that she wrote to me when she was a teenager.
18. When my furbabies snuggle with me when it's cold.
19. My true-blue friendships
20. A really good pair of jeans (True Religion)
21. Serving in Shoe Distributions side by side with Wayne
22. The Zodiacs
23. The smell in the air when fall is just around the corner.
24. The first time I hear a really great song.
25. How I feel after I have served another person...the absolute best.
26. My Mom's Chicken Tenders, Gravy and Cabbage
27. Nude Lip Gloss
28. High Heels
29. Magazines
30. Finishing Well.
31. Singing "Jesus Never Fails" every night of the Truth Farewell Tour
32. Seeing someone I love happy
33. Chicken McNuggets
34. Having Peace.
35. Anticipating what is yet to be...
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Under Construction
Sometimes we have those "lamp" moments. It is as if someone pulled the switch and we can "see", you know? Today, I had yet another as my friend shared this amazing quote with me:
"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised.
But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is he up to? The explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards.
You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but he is building up a palace. He intends to come and live in it himself."
C.S. Lewis, in Mere Christianity
What do I say in response to this? I have always loved the thought of a sweet little cottage, but if I can be a palace....well, alrighty then.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Just around the corner...
YWCA Distribution-November 2010
On a beautiful fall day I traveled to the Davidson County YWCA Domestic Violence Shelter to distribute shoes on behalf of Soles4Souls. With about 20-30 pairs in my car, I arrived at the shelter to distribute shoes to the current shelter residents.
As we prepared the shoes for the women in the shelter to come receive them, I learned that there are over 20 women and roughly 15-20 children currently living in the shelter. These women and children come to the Y to flee domestic violence situations, some of them with just the clothes on their back and shoes on their feet. They come to an undisclosed location for safety, so that they can rebuild their lives without continuing to live in the physical, mental and verbal abuse many of them have suffered from.
As the ladies came out, I was greeted by friendly faces that enjoyed choosing a new pair of shoes that fit just right. Many of the shoes I brought were from Red Wing, and they were perfect shoes for some of the women that had started new jobs where sturdy, protective footwear were just what they needed. One woman was overcome by emotion as she received her new shoes, stating that her new pair now made 2 pairs she had to wear now. The gratitude and thankfulness in their voices made me well aware of the need they had for shoes, and just how much they appreciated it.
I fit two young boys, brothers 9 and 11, with new shoes as well. Seeing their eyes light up over new sneakers and being able to lace them up tight was a great experience! They were so thrilled to have a nice, new pair of shoes to go to school with.
I was reminded as I left the YWCA that day that although Soles4Souls distributes to over 125 countries worldwide, there are SO many needs here in the US as well. We never know what our neighbor, co-worker, or even close friend may be going through. Sometimes something so simple as the gift of shoes can help change their world for the better. Someone not TOO far from you is hurting, and is in trouble.
Every time I go on a distribution for Soles4Souls, I again realize the importance of our mission and it always puts everything into focus for me. You cannot out-give, out-love, out-serve.
On a beautiful fall day I traveled to the Davidson County YWCA Domestic Violence Shelter to distribute shoes on behalf of Soles4Souls. With about 20-30 pairs in my car, I arrived at the shelter to distribute shoes to the current shelter residents.
As we prepared the shoes for the women in the shelter to come receive them, I learned that there are over 20 women and roughly 15-20 children currently living in the shelter. These women and children come to the Y to flee domestic violence situations, some of them with just the clothes on their back and shoes on their feet. They come to an undisclosed location for safety, so that they can rebuild their lives without continuing to live in the physical, mental and verbal abuse many of them have suffered from.
As the ladies came out, I was greeted by friendly faces that enjoyed choosing a new pair of shoes that fit just right. Many of the shoes I brought were from Red Wing, and they were perfect shoes for some of the women that had started new jobs where sturdy, protective footwear were just what they needed. One woman was overcome by emotion as she received her new shoes, stating that her new pair now made 2 pairs she had to wear now. The gratitude and thankfulness in their voices made me well aware of the need they had for shoes, and just how much they appreciated it.
I fit two young boys, brothers 9 and 11, with new shoes as well. Seeing their eyes light up over new sneakers and being able to lace them up tight was a great experience! They were so thrilled to have a nice, new pair of shoes to go to school with.
I was reminded as I left the YWCA that day that although Soles4Souls distributes to over 125 countries worldwide, there are SO many needs here in the US as well. We never know what our neighbor, co-worker, or even close friend may be going through. Sometimes something so simple as the gift of shoes can help change their world for the better. Someone not TOO far from you is hurting, and is in trouble.
Every time I go on a distribution for Soles4Souls, I again realize the importance of our mission and it always puts everything into focus for me. You cannot out-give, out-love, out-serve.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Little Pieces
I'm 34 years old, soon to be 35. I find it HIGHLY unlikely that I will have children and I'm completely OK with that. But some people in my life are not so ok with it, and have even asked me "But who will take care of you when you are older?" I know they meant well, but having a child does not guarantee that I have adequate care when I am a senior citizen and unable to care for myself.
Some people think its a little unusual that I don't pine over having a baby. I love babies so much, love other people's babies and caring for them. But that doesn't mean I need a baby.
I look at it this way...what if by not having children I can go out and love on so many children and individuals who do not have a mother or someone to love them? What if that is my legacy?
"If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it may be because pieces will feed a multitude when a loaf would satisfy only a little boy" Elisabeth Elliot
I love this quote, I have for over 10 years. When I read this quote above, I interpret it many ways: Yes, when we are broken before God, He basically divides and conquers with the pieces of our life. I also see this quote as an explanation, somewhat, over the BABY question in my own life.
I want to touch AS MANY HURTING PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD AS I CAN. And I think the solution for me to do that is to be freed up on some levels that others are not.
And God has been SO gracious to me to put people into my life that I have been able to "mother" and pour myself into, and this fills me and gives me so much joy.
I think everyone has their own unique path. Sometimes it is not 2.5 kids, a pool and a SUV.
People will see me holding a baby sometimes and say "That is a good look on you". And you know what? They are right. Loving another person and showing compassion and tenderness is a good look on anyone.
It looks the same as:
Kneeling at the feet of a homeless man with no teeth and fitting him with shoes
Putting on rainboots and gloves to clean out a flood ravaged home
Having a friend over late into the night because she just needs to talk
Watching a young woman grow into adulthood that you have had the honor of mentoring for 10 years
And I'm not finished...I want to DO SO MUCH MORE...and expend myself more. Love more, care more....nurture more.
Whoever you are, Wherever you are, children, no children, its OK!
Just remember, everyone has a different path....but I think we all hope for the same destination.
Some people think its a little unusual that I don't pine over having a baby. I love babies so much, love other people's babies and caring for them. But that doesn't mean I need a baby.
I look at it this way...what if by not having children I can go out and love on so many children and individuals who do not have a mother or someone to love them? What if that is my legacy?
"If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it may be because pieces will feed a multitude when a loaf would satisfy only a little boy" Elisabeth Elliot
I love this quote, I have for over 10 years. When I read this quote above, I interpret it many ways: Yes, when we are broken before God, He basically divides and conquers with the pieces of our life. I also see this quote as an explanation, somewhat, over the BABY question in my own life.
I want to touch AS MANY HURTING PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD AS I CAN. And I think the solution for me to do that is to be freed up on some levels that others are not.
And God has been SO gracious to me to put people into my life that I have been able to "mother" and pour myself into, and this fills me and gives me so much joy.
I think everyone has their own unique path. Sometimes it is not 2.5 kids, a pool and a SUV.
People will see me holding a baby sometimes and say "That is a good look on you". And you know what? They are right. Loving another person and showing compassion and tenderness is a good look on anyone.
It looks the same as:
Kneeling at the feet of a homeless man with no teeth and fitting him with shoes
Putting on rainboots and gloves to clean out a flood ravaged home
Having a friend over late into the night because she just needs to talk
Watching a young woman grow into adulthood that you have had the honor of mentoring for 10 years
And I'm not finished...I want to DO SO MUCH MORE...and expend myself more. Love more, care more....nurture more.
Whoever you are, Wherever you are, children, no children, its OK!
Just remember, everyone has a different path....but I think we all hope for the same destination.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Trusting
Who can you really trust? That is a question I am asking myself more and more these days. That really bothers me that I am at the place where I consciously wonder who it is that I can trust.
Who can I trust?
It has always been very easy for me to talk to others about things that were pressing on my soul. It was comforting to talk to another person about issues that were on my mind, or weighing me down.
It am learning lately though that a) people usually don’t care about what you are saying if it doesn’t affect them directly b) a lot of people will tell another person what you confided in them about and c) the direct result to talking about your problems to another is JUST a momentary release of getting it out. OH, and d) bearing your soul to another can make them stress out over your issues FOR you, or make them think you are looney tunes depending on what you say.
So, what is this girl to do?
Not talk…yes, and no.
First, I am making a concentrated effort to talk to God about things first. He knows me the best anyway, and He is always there to listen to the good, bad and ugly. He loves me no matter what I say.
Second, choose carefully whom I confide in, and ask for wisdom from very few. Everybody has got their opinion and perspective, but if you are like me, I am a pleaser and I listen, which is good, but it can cause my vision to be cloudy. So, I know that it is best for me to narrow down the number of people I talk to and glean insight from. That doesn’t mean I am isolated from my community of friends, but it means I am choosing to guard my heart more and more.
Finally, I am asking for my heart to stay soft towards people and situations. When hurt moves into your life, it can cause you to harden up, become jaded. And I am a little jaded, but I just pray that my heart will stay tender.
I pray that I will remember people are just people, imperfect and extremely incapable of letting you down, the same way I let others down too.
So, I guess scripturally what I am asking for would be called “being as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves”
God, make me wise, strong, tender and pliable. Make me approachable, readable, guarded and teachable. God, make ME
Who can I trust?
It has always been very easy for me to talk to others about things that were pressing on my soul. It was comforting to talk to another person about issues that were on my mind, or weighing me down.
It am learning lately though that a) people usually don’t care about what you are saying if it doesn’t affect them directly b) a lot of people will tell another person what you confided in them about and c) the direct result to talking about your problems to another is JUST a momentary release of getting it out. OH, and d) bearing your soul to another can make them stress out over your issues FOR you, or make them think you are looney tunes depending on what you say.
So, what is this girl to do?
Not talk…yes, and no.
First, I am making a concentrated effort to talk to God about things first. He knows me the best anyway, and He is always there to listen to the good, bad and ugly. He loves me no matter what I say.
Second, choose carefully whom I confide in, and ask for wisdom from very few. Everybody has got their opinion and perspective, but if you are like me, I am a pleaser and I listen, which is good, but it can cause my vision to be cloudy. So, I know that it is best for me to narrow down the number of people I talk to and glean insight from. That doesn’t mean I am isolated from my community of friends, but it means I am choosing to guard my heart more and more.
Finally, I am asking for my heart to stay soft towards people and situations. When hurt moves into your life, it can cause you to harden up, become jaded. And I am a little jaded, but I just pray that my heart will stay tender.
I pray that I will remember people are just people, imperfect and extremely incapable of letting you down, the same way I let others down too.
So, I guess scripturally what I am asking for would be called “being as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves”
God, make me wise, strong, tender and pliable. Make me approachable, readable, guarded and teachable. God, make ME
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Glass Slipper Fit
Haiti, July 2010:
On a summer distribution trip to Haiti, we travelled outside of Port Au Prince in a small community hit badly by the earthquake. The distribution was at a church, the building had been leveled by the devastation, and a tarped roof and wooden benches now served as the church center. 300 people quickly piled in the small area when they had heard by word of mouth that shoes were being given away. I was in the corner during the distribution fitting children with shoes, their little hands using the top of my head as a way to balance as they were fitted for a new pair of shoes. With the language barrier, it was sometimes hard to figure out if the shoes were too big or small, but a big smile from each child definitely gave us the feedback, that “YES” they loved their new shoes. As the inventory was getting lower, I was fitting a young girl (probably about 11 or 12) and could not find a pair to fit her. She pointed to my slip-on Converse sneakers, letting me know that she liked them, and I figured it was worth a try. The thought went through my mind, but what will I wear? Wow, how selfish, when the thought that probably plagued this young girl’s mind was more like, “I hope I don’t step on anything sharp today and hurt my foot". I slipped my shoe off and onto her foot, and found that it was a glass slipper fit. Perfect. I handed her both of my shoes with a fullness in my heart that cannot be explained and watched her walk away with a huge smile, with her new treasure in her arms.
I found a pair of boys tennis shoes to wear that were too big for me. It was a great lesson I learned that day. One, in giving of even the clothing/shoes on my back, and two, what a challenge it is to walk around and live life in shoes that do not fit properly. My shoes were too big, and they hindered me from being 100% because I couldn’t walk as fast, they irritated my feet and took my mind off of what I was trying to accomplish because it held me back.
Great lesson learned.
Maybe you cannot go to Haiti...but you can give to Soles4Souls and help us continue to change lives...one pair of Converse sneakers at a time...
On a summer distribution trip to Haiti, we travelled outside of Port Au Prince in a small community hit badly by the earthquake. The distribution was at a church, the building had been leveled by the devastation, and a tarped roof and wooden benches now served as the church center. 300 people quickly piled in the small area when they had heard by word of mouth that shoes were being given away. I was in the corner during the distribution fitting children with shoes, their little hands using the top of my head as a way to balance as they were fitted for a new pair of shoes. With the language barrier, it was sometimes hard to figure out if the shoes were too big or small, but a big smile from each child definitely gave us the feedback, that “YES” they loved their new shoes. As the inventory was getting lower, I was fitting a young girl (probably about 11 or 12) and could not find a pair to fit her. She pointed to my slip-on Converse sneakers, letting me know that she liked them, and I figured it was worth a try. The thought went through my mind, but what will I wear? Wow, how selfish, when the thought that probably plagued this young girl’s mind was more like, “I hope I don’t step on anything sharp today and hurt my foot". I slipped my shoe off and onto her foot, and found that it was a glass slipper fit. Perfect. I handed her both of my shoes with a fullness in my heart that cannot be explained and watched her walk away with a huge smile, with her new treasure in her arms.
I found a pair of boys tennis shoes to wear that were too big for me. It was a great lesson I learned that day. One, in giving of even the clothing/shoes on my back, and two, what a challenge it is to walk around and live life in shoes that do not fit properly. My shoes were too big, and they hindered me from being 100% because I couldn’t walk as fast, they irritated my feet and took my mind off of what I was trying to accomplish because it held me back.
Great lesson learned.
Maybe you cannot go to Haiti...but you can give to Soles4Souls and help us continue to change lives...one pair of Converse sneakers at a time...
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Help People, Help People
I love being a part of Soles4Souls. I am so extremely BLESSED and graced to have a job that I absolutely love. I recognize the tremendous opportunity I have at this season in my life.
One of the parts of my job that I love is simply getting to help people, HELP OTHER PEOPLE. You may have to read that again. But basically I encounter people many times that just want to help, and I have the honor of helping them find the best method to do that. I love it.
There is nothing better than hearing the excitement in people's voices as they talk to me, and we explore ways that they can get plugged in. Establishing a relationship with people, and having them keep in touch as they begin shoe drives, plan events and further our mission is exciting. I believe that each and every person on this earth longs to give to another person, and there is no greater joy in giving. But making a difference and giving can be overwhelming, you look at the world and think, what can I do to make things better? And that is really where the heart of Soles4Souls can be found: in changing the world, ONE pair at a time! That one pair to one person can set in motion dreams that cannot even seem possible.
We can all make a difference in our world. When you look at a painting, there is more to it than just the artist that painted it. Some great scientific talent mixed and formulated the paints, a talented framer made the canvas, some tangible object created by gifted hands fashioned the inspiration behind the picture....do you get it? Everyone's part is IMPORTANT.
Use whatever you have at your disposal to make the world better...HELP.
One of the parts of my job that I love is simply getting to help people, HELP OTHER PEOPLE. You may have to read that again. But basically I encounter people many times that just want to help, and I have the honor of helping them find the best method to do that. I love it.
There is nothing better than hearing the excitement in people's voices as they talk to me, and we explore ways that they can get plugged in. Establishing a relationship with people, and having them keep in touch as they begin shoe drives, plan events and further our mission is exciting. I believe that each and every person on this earth longs to give to another person, and there is no greater joy in giving. But making a difference and giving can be overwhelming, you look at the world and think, what can I do to make things better? And that is really where the heart of Soles4Souls can be found: in changing the world, ONE pair at a time! That one pair to one person can set in motion dreams that cannot even seem possible.
We can all make a difference in our world. When you look at a painting, there is more to it than just the artist that painted it. Some great scientific talent mixed and formulated the paints, a talented framer made the canvas, some tangible object created by gifted hands fashioned the inspiration behind the picture....do you get it? Everyone's part is IMPORTANT.
Use whatever you have at your disposal to make the world better...HELP.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The End of the Summer...very hot summer...
I suck at blogging consistently.
That is all I will say about that.
What a summer....hot, sticky, and BUSY. What a summer. Major highlight, I went to Haiti twice with Soles4Souls to distribute shoes. What a summer. I could write a book about Haiti. But I won't. All I will say is that it was a life-altering experience. That country has been through pure hell....and yet, the people of Haiti are some of the most joyful, gentle, loving folks I have ever met. It was amazing. And as crazy as it sounds, I could stay there for a long time. Love is growing there, in the midst of the rubble, hunger and poverty....love is blossoming there.
What a summer, I have reunited with my passion for reading. And among some of the gems I have read this summer, here are a few that have rocked my world....
The Blind Side
The Me I Want to Be
The Shack
Mrs. Whaley's Garden
The Traveler's Gift
What a summer, what a year. I am learning so much. Some of it is very pleasant and lovely, and some is not so much. Some of my education strips away at my pride, causes me to look inward, makes me rely on my Creator more and more, and reminds me constantly that there IS a big picture for all of this.
What a summer....how was yours?
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Facebook...Twitter...Computers...Blackberries....Apples...
I am simply amazed at how powerful social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter have become. Just recently, a event that I was planning used Facebook for the promotion, and we also bought an ad in a local magazine. The ad was not what drove in the traffic for the event, Facebook did. It is free, easily accessible and widely used by ALL.
Social networking is more than that, though. Oprah Winfrey released a statement that holds alot of truth "Did you see me? Did you hear hear me? Did what I say mean something to you? That is what everybody is looking for". It is true. Through outlets such as Twitter and Facebook, people can put themselves out there, they feel that they are heard.
Daily, I read something on these sites that inspire me and enrich my life. Yes, there is stuff that doesn't add anything to my life at all, and silly stuff that just makes me laugh for a minute. But I have learned more about people programs, and causes in the last year through these networks. I also realize that I have a voice too. And there are people who care about what I post, or what I say. My little voice matters too. It actually is very humbling and rewarding when someone responds to a post.
Get on the social networking train, people...It's not going anywhere anytime soon....
Social networking is more than that, though. Oprah Winfrey released a statement that holds alot of truth "Did you see me? Did you hear hear me? Did what I say mean something to you? That is what everybody is looking for". It is true. Through outlets such as Twitter and Facebook, people can put themselves out there, they feel that they are heard.
Daily, I read something on these sites that inspire me and enrich my life. Yes, there is stuff that doesn't add anything to my life at all, and silly stuff that just makes me laugh for a minute. But I have learned more about people programs, and causes in the last year through these networks. I also realize that I have a voice too. And there are people who care about what I post, or what I say. My little voice matters too. It actually is very humbling and rewarding when someone responds to a post.
Get on the social networking train, people...It's not going anywhere anytime soon....
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Socks4Haiti
I will post more about Haiti later, I promise! But I wanted to send this out as well!
Hi Everyone! Soles4Souls will return to Haiti August 25-29 for a distribution trip. I want to send 500 pairs of NEW SOCKS for the children in the schools we distribute to! It is for children 4 years old through age 13, boys and girls. I need girl's white socks with lace (they love those) and boy's dress socks in white and khaki. Their socks were in horrible condition and it is something I want to help with. Nashville peeps, please get the socks to me and out of towners, please mail to:
ATTN: Tiffany Johnson
Soles4Souls
319 Martingale Dr.
Old Hickory, TN 37138
Please have them to me by August 20th! Feel free to pass this on
Friday, July 2, 2010
Meeting Jesus
Wow! I have not blogged lately, life has been a little busy!
Next week, I head to Haiti for Soles4Souls, July 7-11, 2010, with 8 other individuals and I am very excited and aware that parts of my life will never be the same after the experience. I have been on several mission/relief trips and I leave each time more impacted than I have probably impacted others. It is the beauty of a trip like that. Your take away is often more than what you give.
And in light of that, I wanted to share an unbelievable experience I had this spring. I had the opportunity to be a part of some of the biggest evangelistic crusades January-May, 2010. I participated in 3 of them, and I often wondered why the opportunity had come into my life. It definitely drew me out of my comfort zone, but I know NOW without a doubt it was to meet Jesus...
In March 2010, I went to Phoenix for a three day conference to be a part of the worship team. Before I left, a dear friend prayed that God would send me something very special, and speak to me there.
I remember her words "that it would be something just for me, from God". So, of course, I am on the lookout in Phoenix for God to speak to me, through the messages, songs, etc. During one of the day sessions, we were singing at the end, and I looked out into the crowd of around 5000 people and saw a young boy on the shoulders of his father. His hands were covering his little face, and when he moved them, I saw that his face was very disfigured. He barely had slits for his eyes and his nose.
My heart just throbbed for him.
I knew his parents had come probably for him to be prayed over and hopefully healed, and no one was praying for him. I hoped to find them in the crowd afterwards, but I couldn't.
A group of us went to lunch and then I headed back to my hotel room for a short nap before the session that night. I left the restaurant early and as I walked out, there was the little boy with his family.
Wow, the chances of that first of all! I had to go and meet them.
I walked up and his Mom recognized me from the crusade. We began to talk, and she shared that they had driven many hours to come, and although they were hoping for someone to pray for their son's healing, it didn't happen. His Mom said "it just wasn't God's time". She was so peaceful about it and calm.
I asked if I could meet him and I got down on his eye level, and met him, face to face.
His name was Jesus (of course, pronounced Hay-Sus). He was nine years old and barely the size of a three year old, and as I said "hello" to this sweet little child with such disfigurement that I wanted to cry, the unthinkable happened. He reached out, and put both of his tiny hands on either side of my face, and leaned in to me, pressing his forehead against my forehead.
It was a holy moment.
I opened my arms to hold him, and he leaned in to me with such love in a hug that I was not prepared for. And he didn't let go. In fact, I picked him up, and he wrapped his little legs around my waist and began to hug me and pat my back, as if I was the one who needed hugging.
His Mom was a little shocked, "He doesn't really do this normally..." But it was fine, more than fine, with me. And for about five minutes, I spent time with Jesus.
He smiled, and we hugged some more, and I talked with his family, and just held him. And he held me. And when it was time for me to go, it was hard to get out of his little embrace.
And I left that restaurant and just walked back to my hotel in a daze. God HAD given me something so tangible in that moment. The love from that little boy was so powerful. Even in his weakness and condition, he was so powerful, God was so powerful.
It was so overwhelming too, that God sent His love to me through a little boy named Jesus...wow.
I write this because I know next week I will hold lots of little "Jesus" boys and girls, and embrace "Jesus" men and women.
People that are hurting, abandoned, forgotten.
They will surely give me more than I will give them.
But, in the end, we will give each other the most important gift: Love.
Next week, I head to Haiti for Soles4Souls, July 7-11, 2010, with 8 other individuals and I am very excited and aware that parts of my life will never be the same after the experience. I have been on several mission/relief trips and I leave each time more impacted than I have probably impacted others. It is the beauty of a trip like that. Your take away is often more than what you give.
And in light of that, I wanted to share an unbelievable experience I had this spring. I had the opportunity to be a part of some of the biggest evangelistic crusades January-May, 2010. I participated in 3 of them, and I often wondered why the opportunity had come into my life. It definitely drew me out of my comfort zone, but I know NOW without a doubt it was to meet Jesus...
In March 2010, I went to Phoenix for a three day conference to be a part of the worship team. Before I left, a dear friend prayed that God would send me something very special, and speak to me there.
I remember her words "that it would be something just for me, from God". So, of course, I am on the lookout in Phoenix for God to speak to me, through the messages, songs, etc. During one of the day sessions, we were singing at the end, and I looked out into the crowd of around 5000 people and saw a young boy on the shoulders of his father. His hands were covering his little face, and when he moved them, I saw that his face was very disfigured. He barely had slits for his eyes and his nose.
My heart just throbbed for him.
I knew his parents had come probably for him to be prayed over and hopefully healed, and no one was praying for him. I hoped to find them in the crowd afterwards, but I couldn't.
A group of us went to lunch and then I headed back to my hotel room for a short nap before the session that night. I left the restaurant early and as I walked out, there was the little boy with his family.
Wow, the chances of that first of all! I had to go and meet them.
I walked up and his Mom recognized me from the crusade. We began to talk, and she shared that they had driven many hours to come, and although they were hoping for someone to pray for their son's healing, it didn't happen. His Mom said "it just wasn't God's time". She was so peaceful about it and calm.
I asked if I could meet him and I got down on his eye level, and met him, face to face.
His name was Jesus (of course, pronounced Hay-Sus). He was nine years old and barely the size of a three year old, and as I said "hello" to this sweet little child with such disfigurement that I wanted to cry, the unthinkable happened. He reached out, and put both of his tiny hands on either side of my face, and leaned in to me, pressing his forehead against my forehead.
It was a holy moment.
I opened my arms to hold him, and he leaned in to me with such love in a hug that I was not prepared for. And he didn't let go. In fact, I picked him up, and he wrapped his little legs around my waist and began to hug me and pat my back, as if I was the one who needed hugging.
His Mom was a little shocked, "He doesn't really do this normally..." But it was fine, more than fine, with me. And for about five minutes, I spent time with Jesus.
He smiled, and we hugged some more, and I talked with his family, and just held him. And he held me. And when it was time for me to go, it was hard to get out of his little embrace.
And I left that restaurant and just walked back to my hotel in a daze. God HAD given me something so tangible in that moment. The love from that little boy was so powerful. Even in his weakness and condition, he was so powerful, God was so powerful.
It was so overwhelming too, that God sent His love to me through a little boy named Jesus...wow.
I write this because I know next week I will hold lots of little "Jesus" boys and girls, and embrace "Jesus" men and women.
People that are hurting, abandoned, forgotten.
They will surely give me more than I will give them.
But, in the end, we will give each other the most important gift: Love.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
DOORS
I am learning that even though Doors have the signs "push and/or Pull to open", I cannot force the doors of my life's journey open. When I do, it inevitably ends begins and ends badly. I have spent time trying to try them open before, and I won't do it now. I will stand at the door, see if it opens, knock on it, maybe give it a little shove, but no more prying it open.
There is a DOORMAN who will open it for me anyway, if it is the right door for me.
Short and sweet, but something worth saying.
Good night ya'll.
There is a DOORMAN who will open it for me anyway, if it is the right door for me.
Short and sweet, but something worth saying.
Good night ya'll.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Friends Are Like Doughnuts
What an amazing couple of days! And it left me in the very thankful spot, basking the glow of the things I have in my life that money cannot buy you. I turned to my Momma Saturday and said "I have wonderful friends, and such a variety of them". And it hit me...MY FRIENDS ARE LIKE A BOX OF DOUGHNUTS.
I won't name my friends, but I have a feeling that they will know exactly what doughnut they are in this perfect Krispy Kreme box of love in my life.
1. Chocolate Iced with Sprinkles-Just sweet and fun and colorful! Always bringing light into my life, and lightening the load (how can you get too serious with all the sprinkles, huh??)
2. Glazed Cruller-They are never what you expect, but when you bite in, there is goodness and sweetness and you find yourself never viewing the cruller the same again, it becomes better and better to you!
3. Cinnamon Apple Filled-Authentic, Genuine and full of good stuff. Never lets you down.
4. Chocolate Iced Kreme Filled-The best. You think it's good and you bite in and it gets better, even better. And it's solid to the core, and if anything gushes out, it's goodness.
5. Chocolate Iced Glazed-It's glazed, so it's already good, and to top it off, it's covered in chocolate and works anywhere, anytime.
6. Traditional Cake- Rich and Heavy. Will always pack a punch. When you eat it, you are full, it nourishes you.
7. Traditional Glazed-Classic. Timeless, always good, not too much, but definitely not too little. We all want to be like the Glazed Doughnut.
8. Doughnut Hole-This is my Momma. It is little, like her, and it packs a punch. But no matter what, it's always there....You will always have a doughnut hole...
9. Powdered Sugar- Always leaves something behind. Covers you. Just looks happy and sweet, and it is.
Look at your life.....I hope you have these kind of doughnuts in your box. I love that I have a little room left too, I can add more.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Push Through
This week is a busy week for me. And a very special one. After being on this earth for thirty-plus years, and literally being able to see several of my dreams come to fruition, there is another one that will happen this Thursday night. Not only was I blessed with the support from Soles4Souls and their CEO Wayne Elsey to be able to complete my CD, Scuffed and Simple, but I will perform it live at The Listening Room Cafe, June 3rd at 6pm to celebrate it's release. It is free and open to everyone.
And my band for the night is a group of people who are some of the dearest to me, they are all volunteering their phenomenal talents as well, which just really overwhelms me to the point of tears. And my Momma will be here, and my dear friend Leann from South Carolina, as well as the folks who will come out to listen.
And I look at this time in my life, and literally think, it is MY time. And there are things about it that are right, and things about it that are wrong, or better yet, not the way I envisioned them to be. But nonetheless, that time is here and happening for me, and I need to enjoy it and relish it and celebrate it, thanking God for every moment.
I think that has always been the hardest for me-the pushing through. I would rather just close my eyes and let the storm pass while I am under the covers. But God never lets that happen to me, He strips the blanket off and puts the cloud right over my bed. But he usually sweetens the deal with an incredible rainbow at the end, or a flower that blooms because it was watered. And when I do push through, and embrace what I am dealing with, instead of wishing it away, I am always better, stronger and more complete because I DID push through. But it doesn't mean it is easy, it is NEVER easy. Anything worth HAVING in our lives is NEVER easy.
So, if you come Thursday night, know that you are helping one of my dreams come true. You will hear some stories, stories about the songs and about the journey, and I know 100% you will feel the love coming off the stage, and I believe you will see God too, because HE was and IS all over this. And that makes me the most fulfilled and satiated when I think of the whole experience.
And wherever you are, whatever you are going through, around, above or beneath-push through. Even when it is hard, and you are tired. Push through it.
"There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears" Philippians 1:6 The Message
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Enough for me.
I am honored to write for Soles4Souls monthly newsletter and feature stories about people contributing to our mission in their communities. This month I wrote about Hannah Holton, check it out:
Hannah is Not Just a Student, But a Teacher
Hannah Holton is five years old. She is a kindergartner in Frisco, Texas. She loves to read and play outside. She daily teaches her mom, dad and two brothers what it looks like to love others as you love yourself.
In December she saw her mom looking at photos from a friend's mission trip to Haiti. The mission team was working in an orphanage so there were lots of kids in the pictures. Hannah had lots of questions about life in Haiti. She said that one day she wanted to go there and play with the children that looked so happy, although many of them had no family of their own.
In January, she heard "Haiti" in a news story and asked what happened. Her mom found out many of the children in the pictures were devastated by the earthquake. Donations were already being sent to buy supplies for the orphanage. Hannah had the idea to sell grape Kool-Aid to her friends, from a wagon she pulled through her neighborhood. As people bought their drinks, Hannah told them about the earthquake, and the children in the orphanage. She collected $5.17 in about an hour.
On Palm Sunday, Hannah's church put out baskets and asked people to leave their shoes to send to Haiti and to others in need. The pastor announced that the church would begin a month long collection of shoes for Soles4Souls, and that church members should clean out their closets and donate any gently worn or new shoes they do not wear. All types of shoes were needed; because they would be sorted to go to Haiti, people looking for jobs, and other kinds of places. Hannah again heard "Haiti" and asked if the shoes would go to the kids she had seen in the pictures just months before. Her mom explained that yes, some of the shoes could get to those kids.
She went to the altar with her mom, and as people put their shoes in the basket, she asked if she had to leave hers. Her mom said, "Only if you want to." They were her favorite white shoes that she had just gotten to wear with her Easter dress. She stood there for a minute and then slowly took them off and put them in the basket. She seemed a little sad, so her mom gave her a hug and asked her what she was thinking. She said, "I really love those shoes because you bought them for me and they are pretty. Some of the kids in Haiti don't have moms to buy them shoes so I gave them mine. That makes God happy and I know he'll get me some more shoes."
On the way home, Hannah asked if everybody's church was collecting shoes. Her parents said "probably not." She decided to make poster to pass around her neighborhood and friends in an effort to collect more shoes. Her mom set her up on the computer and after a little editing, she printed the flyers and went to deliver them. Hannah went barefoot to ask people to look for shoes. Over the next few weeks, people would ring her doorbell and leave bags of shoes. Hannah collected about 25 pairs of shoes.
Hannah's church has a Mission Possible Kids group who does monthly outreach projects with elementary school kids. For April, they sorted the hundreds of shoes that were collected and wrote notes on those that could be going to kids. Hannah found her white shoes in the pile, along with a pair of silver sparkly little girl's tennis shoes. As she worked to tag them somebody said, "I'll bet some little girl is going to be very happy when she gets these shoes" and Hannah said, "I'm happy that we have so much that we get to share. God likes it when we share."
Tiffany Johnson
Spokesperson
And I sent her a copy of my CD and a book called 'New Old Shoes" as a thanks from Soles4Souls.
Her mom sent me this email upon seeing the newsletter today:
"Hi Tiffany,
Thanks for the email. Hannah did get her package and she loved it. She took the book to school for Show and Tell to read to the class. She also put the CD straight into the player in our kitchen and carried the case around with her. She said you look like Cinderella!
You have been a blessing to us and we thank you."
This is enough....enough for me. That is it, ya'll. What it's all about.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Oh my, oh my....a lot to say
Man, what a month so far. I left my home early Sunday May 2nd to go to my church, only to be evacuated because of the flooding sweeping across parts of Nashville. My dear friend Bill Harrell and I were together 12 hours in his car, going from place to place, at one time a hill top because we got caught in a pretty scary downpour. I stayed with my best friend until Tuesday morning, because things were virtually waterlocked around her neighborhood.
I came home to my little abode, and then reality set in, as I sat alone on my couch and watched the news. Being a South Carolina girl, I had been through a hurricane. I know what that is, it comes, rips up, and leaves. Although there are similarities, a flood is very different. You have to wait on the water to leave. And it took a while, it STILL is taking a while. I sat there helpless, and scared, I live by myself, and sometimes, you have those moments that you think "I am all alone". But we really are never alone, unless we choose that.
I live about 30 minutes from the Bellevue area, which is where I go to church, and where I was stuck, and it was one of the hardest hit. Massive volunteering efforts had started that week, so I put on my duck boots (any good Southerner will know what those are) and went to Bellevue. I pulled sheetrock with strangers, cleaned out flooded basements, ate lunch prepared by insurance companies that set up stations, and literally bathed in the flood of goodwill and love that is NASHVILLE. I will always be a South Carolinian, but this is my home now. This beautiful state and city has made me understand why Tennessee is the Volunteer State.
It is SO sad, people have lost everything....except for their resolve. But it is also so beautiful in it's brokenness. I have had the opportunity to work with Soles4Souls and give shoes away to flood victims as well. WE have given shoes to people who have cleaned out their shoe closets for us in the past, and they humbly came because they have nothing left. I drove downtown today to deliver a pair of work boots to Eric, who has been doing reconstruction and clean up downtown in GALOSHES....freaking galoshes!!!!! His smile today and hug made my heart SOAR.
There is still SO much devastation and so much to be done. People need the simplest things, groceries, toiletries, your time, manual labor, a shoulder, an ear, a movie night to get their mind off of what they have been through.
I am so thankful that my home is OK. But my heart isn't.....God has grabbed my heart and squeezed it hard with this. Things are things, they are reminders of our past, but they can replaced. People can't, relationships can't, and these are what matter most. Sacrificing our time and resources will always bless us! Even if we feel we don't have it to give, give on the faith that it will be provided and IT WILL!!
I love you, Nashville. You have inspired me, and changed me.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
The List
I don't want alot of things in life. I have figured out that the simpler my life is, the happier I am. But if someone asked me to give them my "wishlist", this would be it...
1. I want to be a great friend.
2. I want to have great friends who love me as I am, and walk through joy, doubt, and sadness with me.
3. I want to enrich the lives of other people, to be a positive force. I want to be the face of love to people in my life, and hopefully just be an outlet for God to touch their soul.
4. I want to have someone in my life that will allow me to truly love him and be truly loved by someone that accepts me as I am, and inspires me to get where I can be.
5. I want to be able to take care of my Momma.
6. I want to use my gifts in ways that feed my soul. It can be singing at church, singing in a club, painting a picture for a friend, painting a wall of a Habitat for Humanity house, helping a friend find an outfit that makes her feel like a million bucks. I want to create, because I was born to do that.
7. I want a bathtub with claws on the bottom.
8. I want to always have kitties in my house.
9. I want to sit on the beach as much as I possibly can and watch God's majesty.
10. I want to feel God smile upon me, as often as possible.
1. I want to be a great friend.
2. I want to have great friends who love me as I am, and walk through joy, doubt, and sadness with me.
3. I want to enrich the lives of other people, to be a positive force. I want to be the face of love to people in my life, and hopefully just be an outlet for God to touch their soul.
4. I want to have someone in my life that will allow me to truly love him and be truly loved by someone that accepts me as I am, and inspires me to get where I can be.
5. I want to be able to take care of my Momma.
6. I want to use my gifts in ways that feed my soul. It can be singing at church, singing in a club, painting a picture for a friend, painting a wall of a Habitat for Humanity house, helping a friend find an outfit that makes her feel like a million bucks. I want to create, because I was born to do that.
7. I want a bathtub with claws on the bottom.
8. I want to always have kitties in my house.
9. I want to sit on the beach as much as I possibly can and watch God's majesty.
10. I want to feel God smile upon me, as often as possible.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
OMG...Shoes
Today I was getting a pair of shoes out my closet. My new JESSICA SIMPSON NUDE PEEP TOE PLATFORM HEELS! Love them, my Momma bought them for me as an "I love you" present, and I just stopped for a moment, and just held them up, with that wonderful feeling in my heart that only a REAL SHOE-A-HOLIC can understand.... Love, admiration of their beauty and the anticipation of wearing them.
And then I thought about how it must feel for someone in need when Soles4Souls gives them a pair of shoes (whether it is their first pair EVER or first good pair in a long time). So, I guess I should multiply my SHOE-EUPHORIA by 1 million to equal only a fraction of what it must feel like for a man, woman or child in need when they receive the gift of shoes, whether it is here in the US or worldwide.
A simple gift of $1 (YES, one dollar) can help Soles4Souls provide that gift to someone. Will you help? To donate, go to Soles4Souls
and get involved.
(I can't wait to rock my new shoes out..... and help others as well)
Friday, April 23, 2010
A Great Song (and the story behind it)
I was singing this past weekend and in my set, I sang “Somewhere Over The Rainbow”, which is a spectacular song. I couldn’t help but think about the power of a GREAT song. It transcends time, as it strikes a chord deep in the soul and takes us somewhere far away for a few minutes. I am so fortunate to have sung MANY great songs over the years.
And as this journey called “Releasing a CD and working your butt off to get it out there because you love it and also giving it to God everyday because you KNOW He’s in charge anyway” continues, I am very thankful because I think I have 7 GREAT songs on Scuffed and Simple, and it was simply divine appointments that brought them my way.
I want to share the story of how one song came to me, because living in Nashville has taught me the beauty of the story behind the songs I hear, they make them so much more precious when I hear them.
“Shine” written by Scott Sean White
One of the first country demos I ever recorded was for a guy named Scott Sean White. He lives in Texas, so I just went to a recording studio and sang, and got paid, without ever meeting him. Being the NICE guy that he is (he really is just an amazing human being), he contacted me to say how much he enjoyed it. Months after that, I went to see him perform at the Bluebird Café so I could meet this great writer (by that time, I had sung on more demos for him). And a friendship was born! When he sent me the demo of “Shine“ that he had recorded, I listened while I was driving on the interstate and chills just went all over me. The song just KILLED me (and I silently hoped one day I could record it….please God). Scott says to me that it was inspired mostly from the love and support his wife has given him over the years, and that has kept him going. He has had me sing it live for him at Writer’s Nights more times than I can count, and I never get tired of singing that song. So, when I had the opportunity to record it for MY project, umm, DUH….yes!! I have been asked repeatedly if I wrote it, and I tell him “No, but my friend Scott Sean White did”, and the best compliment I get is “well, you sing it like you wrote it”.
And as this journey called “Releasing a CD and working your butt off to get it out there because you love it and also giving it to God everyday because you KNOW He’s in charge anyway” continues, I am very thankful because I think I have 7 GREAT songs on Scuffed and Simple, and it was simply divine appointments that brought them my way.
I want to share the story of how one song came to me, because living in Nashville has taught me the beauty of the story behind the songs I hear, they make them so much more precious when I hear them.
“Shine” written by Scott Sean White
One of the first country demos I ever recorded was for a guy named Scott Sean White. He lives in Texas, so I just went to a recording studio and sang, and got paid, without ever meeting him. Being the NICE guy that he is (he really is just an amazing human being), he contacted me to say how much he enjoyed it. Months after that, I went to see him perform at the Bluebird Café so I could meet this great writer (by that time, I had sung on more demos for him). And a friendship was born! When he sent me the demo of “Shine“ that he had recorded, I listened while I was driving on the interstate and chills just went all over me. The song just KILLED me (and I silently hoped one day I could record it….please God). Scott says to me that it was inspired mostly from the love and support his wife has given him over the years, and that has kept him going. He has had me sing it live for him at Writer’s Nights more times than I can count, and I never get tired of singing that song. So, when I had the opportunity to record it for MY project, umm, DUH….yes!! I have been asked repeatedly if I wrote it, and I tell him “No, but my friend Scott Sean White did”, and the best compliment I get is “well, you sing it like you wrote it”.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Sweet Moments
This weekend, I performed at the South Carolina Pilot Club Convention at Myrtle Beach, SC, it was such a great time, and I was excited, because it was my first performance since my CD came out. My sweet Momma was there along with other special people in my life, Norma and Zeb Andrews, and getting to share my music and my story with the group of around 300 was an awesome experience.
I am very blessed to be able to have the opportunity to do what I love, both through the vehicle of music and work with Soles4Souls.
Here are a few pics!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
FREE WEDNESDAY DOWNLOAD!! ENJOY!
FREE download of "Shine" for u! Send me a comment with your email for your download code and then go to http://tiffanyjohnson.bandcamp.com/yum to redeem.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
One week of having my CD OUT THERE....
Has been interesting to say the least. Between my Momma carting it around and selling it in SC to comments, emails and the like from people who have purchased. All in all, everyone's response has been very positive. I think the coolest thing for me is finally having something out there that truly IS A LABOR OF LOVE that says what I want to say...about everything.
I am an artist too, occasionally picking up the pencils or paintbrushes to create, but music is different, I could do it 24/7 for absolutely NO ONE, simply because it is therapeutic, expressive and an extension of me. But when others love it too, and affirm, wow, blessings galore.
My wise sage friend Billy says "we create, because we were created" and I think it is true. It brings me joy, to even take the packages to the post office made me get a little giddy, because there I went, to deliver a piece of me to someone that wants to hear and in delivering it, my hope is that they will be inspired and blessed through the gift.
Each day is a gift. And PEOPLE, each one of us HAS SOMETHING TO GIVE TO THIS WORLD. Don't hide it, give it away. You can't take it with you...
I am an artist too, occasionally picking up the pencils or paintbrushes to create, but music is different, I could do it 24/7 for absolutely NO ONE, simply because it is therapeutic, expressive and an extension of me. But when others love it too, and affirm, wow, blessings galore.
My wise sage friend Billy says "we create, because we were created" and I think it is true. It brings me joy, to even take the packages to the post office made me get a little giddy, because there I went, to deliver a piece of me to someone that wants to hear and in delivering it, my hope is that they will be inspired and blessed through the gift.
Each day is a gift. And PEOPLE, each one of us HAS SOMETHING TO GIVE TO THIS WORLD. Don't hide it, give it away. You can't take it with you...
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Bruised Reeds
I know I end up talking about God a lot, and my faith. But honestly, it is what sustains me, and I have had seasons in my life where I have been very close to him, and at times, far away. And the beautiful thing about Him is that HE never moves from us. We do the moving, He stays put; He is the same yesterday, today and forever. The very different thing about my faith now is that He is more real to me than He has ever been.
I am in a season of my life now that I would call "cleaning up messes and brokenness". That is the best way to describe it. God has used a series of events to call to mind several "messes" that I needed to clean up. So, after fighting with him about it, I stuck my tail between my legs and started picking up after myself. And it felt amazing. It was scary, and humbling, but after I was done with my end of the cleaning, I felt such a freedom and lightness that only comes when we surrender to His voice. And I left my seed in the ground (and that was hard, because us control freaks want to mess with it every minute of every day).
But there is some brokenness along the way too. Knowing that I can listen to Him and obey Him, and then I have to surrender the "mess" and trust Him. And I am broken right now. Heartbroken, lifebroken, just broken. And at times, it is a beautiful place to be, but most of the time, it hurts worse than anything. And it is heart hurt, if it was a headache, I could take Advil. But it is a soulache, and that requires time, patience and trust.
This verse came to mind this morning. Matthew 12:20 "a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench; until he brings justice to victory"
I am a bruised reed. I can hardly keep it up right now, but when plants are bruised, you tie them to a stick and it holds them up. I am a smoldering wick, still burning, but not blown out, but NOT entirely aflame either.
Seasons bring a lot of stuff into our lives; we can choose to avoid it, move on or we can ride it out and know that something beautiful will happen there.
God, I am your bruised reed. Hold me up, help me grow. Bend me, even break me if you have to.
I am in a season of my life now that I would call "cleaning up messes and brokenness". That is the best way to describe it. God has used a series of events to call to mind several "messes" that I needed to clean up. So, after fighting with him about it, I stuck my tail between my legs and started picking up after myself. And it felt amazing. It was scary, and humbling, but after I was done with my end of the cleaning, I felt such a freedom and lightness that only comes when we surrender to His voice. And I left my seed in the ground (and that was hard, because us control freaks want to mess with it every minute of every day).
But there is some brokenness along the way too. Knowing that I can listen to Him and obey Him, and then I have to surrender the "mess" and trust Him. And I am broken right now. Heartbroken, lifebroken, just broken. And at times, it is a beautiful place to be, but most of the time, it hurts worse than anything. And it is heart hurt, if it was a headache, I could take Advil. But it is a soulache, and that requires time, patience and trust.
This verse came to mind this morning. Matthew 12:20 "a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench; until he brings justice to victory"
I am a bruised reed. I can hardly keep it up right now, but when plants are bruised, you tie them to a stick and it holds them up. I am a smoldering wick, still burning, but not blown out, but NOT entirely aflame either.
Seasons bring a lot of stuff into our lives; we can choose to avoid it, move on or we can ride it out and know that something beautiful will happen there.
God, I am your bruised reed. Hold me up, help me grow. Bend me, even break me if you have to.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Today is the DAY
My CD is available, released and out there. Wow. That moment is here. I have a bunch of feelings going around in my tummy about it, and too much to verbalize. My wish is that I can continue on a journey of using my music as a platform to bring people joy and touch their heart, and I hope to record another project in the future.
Great songs are like great books, stories or art, they need to be passed on. Do me a favor, if you are inspired by this project, get a copy for someone and pass it on. Of course, I would love to sell a bunch (who wouldn't?) but more than that, I want to be a vessel that is just used to encourage, uplift and inspire. So, if something on this project inspires you...PAY IT FORWARD.
And thank you for visiting, and listening.
Shine,
Tiffany
Great songs are like great books, stories or art, they need to be passed on. Do me a favor, if you are inspired by this project, get a copy for someone and pass it on. Of course, I would love to sell a bunch (who wouldn't?) but more than that, I want to be a vessel that is just used to encourage, uplift and inspire. So, if something on this project inspires you...PAY IT FORWARD.
And thank you for visiting, and listening.
Shine,
Tiffany
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Faith
I am a control freak. There. I said it.
I love God, and want Him to be in control of my life, so often this control freak problem I have interferes with my faith. Not just in God, but in all areas of my life. I want to hold on to every little detail and control the outcome, not understanding that sometimes that is the absolute worst thing I can do to/and for Jesus, myself and others.
Having faith can be tricky at times though. Honestly, there are times in my day when my faith meter is way up, and then it comes crashing down when something doesn't go my way. And yet there is another key component of my problem. "Doesn't go my way".
The Bible says, "there is a way that seems right to man, but its end is the way to death" (Prov 16:5)
So, like I said, my way isn't always the right way. Yes, I have good intentions and pure motives, but I can't trust myself completely to take the right road. I need help, I need to take my hands off the wheel and let the one that made the roads and knows my ultimate path take over.
I think God sits up there sometimes just shaking his head at our boo-boos, and I think he hurts for us too. He hurts when we try everything else in the world to heal our hearts and give us joy except for Him. He sees us broken and lost, and wants to be that comfort to us.
I am thankful became a follower of Him almost 14 years ago. And I haven't clung to Him like I should, but I am a work in progress. And a control freak (but I am working on it)...
I love God, and want Him to be in control of my life, so often this control freak problem I have interferes with my faith. Not just in God, but in all areas of my life. I want to hold on to every little detail and control the outcome, not understanding that sometimes that is the absolute worst thing I can do to/and for Jesus, myself and others.
Having faith can be tricky at times though. Honestly, there are times in my day when my faith meter is way up, and then it comes crashing down when something doesn't go my way. And yet there is another key component of my problem. "Doesn't go my way".
The Bible says, "there is a way that seems right to man, but its end is the way to death" (Prov 16:5)
So, like I said, my way isn't always the right way. Yes, I have good intentions and pure motives, but I can't trust myself completely to take the right road. I need help, I need to take my hands off the wheel and let the one that made the roads and knows my ultimate path take over.
I think God sits up there sometimes just shaking his head at our boo-boos, and I think he hurts for us too. He hurts when we try everything else in the world to heal our hearts and give us joy except for Him. He sees us broken and lost, and wants to be that comfort to us.
I am thankful became a follower of Him almost 14 years ago. And I haven't clung to Him like I should, but I am a work in progress. And a control freak (but I am working on it)...
Monday, March 22, 2010
Seeds, Love and Dreams
I am very fortunate to have a wonderful church and pastor. And he has been speaking on a great thing: our life. The series is called 3 Lives, check out www.hopepark.com and listen.
He shared Mark 4:26-29 "26And He said, The kingdom of God is like a man who scatters seed upon the ground 27And then continues sleeping and rising night and day while the seed sprouts and grows and [l]increases--he knows not how. 28The earth produces [acting] by itself--first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. 29But when the grain is ripe and permits, immediately he [m]sends forth [the reapers] and puts in the sickle, because the harvest stands ready." AMP
He talked about the definition of the word SCATTER above. And that it in the original text, it is the word BALLO. And it means to throw out without care, to unselfishly let go of the seed.
It is really easy to hold on to our dreams and choke the life out of them, to put our seed only where we want things to grow, but in the end, somebody bigger than you and I is working all of that out. So, it is just easier to scatter our seed everywhere and know that God's growing patterns are much more productive than ours.
Blooming where we are planted, instead of waiting to bud where we would like to.
Scattering seed in places where we are uncomfortable and afraid, but knowing that something beautiful will grow there.
Loving is like caring for a garden. Love too much or too little and it dies, love just right and it will live forever.
He shared Mark 4:26-29 "26And He said, The kingdom of God is like a man who scatters seed upon the ground 27And then continues sleeping and rising night and day while the seed sprouts and grows and [l]increases--he knows not how. 28The earth produces [acting] by itself--first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. 29But when the grain is ripe and permits, immediately he [m]sends forth [the reapers] and puts in the sickle, because the harvest stands ready." AMP
He talked about the definition of the word SCATTER above. And that it in the original text, it is the word BALLO. And it means to throw out without care, to unselfishly let go of the seed.
It is really easy to hold on to our dreams and choke the life out of them, to put our seed only where we want things to grow, but in the end, somebody bigger than you and I is working all of that out. So, it is just easier to scatter our seed everywhere and know that God's growing patterns are much more productive than ours.
Blooming where we are planted, instead of waiting to bud where we would like to.
Scattering seed in places where we are uncomfortable and afraid, but knowing that something beautiful will grow there.
Loving is like caring for a garden. Love too much or too little and it dies, love just right and it will live forever.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I love Jessica Simpson
I was watching her new reality show "The Price of Beauty" tonight on VH1 while I was at the gym (multitasking). It is a really interesting show, she is traveling the world showing what women in all countries will do to be beautiful and what beauty is in different cultures.
I watched her on a talk show the other day too, and I just think a lot of her. I know she has gotten some bad press at times. But I think underneath it all, in spite of the stuff she has gone through, there is a beautiful soul there in her. She grew up with good roots, and they remain.
I love that she is vulnerable too, and not afraid to show that she may be hurt or confused. That, to me, is real strength. And she is funny, and real, and so freakin beautiful.
So, Jessica, if you read this....I love you and I believe in you. Thank you for being "real"
I watched her on a talk show the other day too, and I just think a lot of her. I know she has gotten some bad press at times. But I think underneath it all, in spite of the stuff she has gone through, there is a beautiful soul there in her. She grew up with good roots, and they remain.
I love that she is vulnerable too, and not afraid to show that she may be hurt or confused. That, to me, is real strength. And she is funny, and real, and so freakin beautiful.
So, Jessica, if you read this....I love you and I believe in you. Thank you for being "real"
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Oh yes, your eyes are not deceiving you. I went to Hillwood High School in Nashville, TN today to speak on behalf of Soles4Souls. The students had collected over 1500 pairs of shoes, and raised over $1000 to help us in our relief efforts to Haiti. They raised the money for a chance to either shave their teacher's heads or dye them green. And wow, was it awesome to watch!! It was great talking with the students, seeing their enthusiasm for this project, and hearing the teachers praise their efforts. And then they pulled me in. It was a simple question, "would you let them dye your hair", and without thinking, I said "yes".
And there I was in the chair, students screaming and cheering as they painted my long, blond hair. If you are not aware, my hair is a very big deal to me. I take really good care of it, and it is a crutch for me, no matter what, I can count on my hair looking good. But in the excitement of it all, I didn't really matter to me at first. But I won't lie, there was a moment where I did panic a little and think, "oh no, what if this doesn't wash out?"
But you know what, it did! And it was totally worth it, to cheer a bunch of high school students on through this! It's just hair! These kids donated their shoes, time and money for the chance to help change the world through the gift of shoes. It was a great experience! I even forgot as I drove home, until I saw the people staring at me in the car beside me.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Why worry
Spring is close. I know it because my little birdies wake me up before my alarm clock does outside. They are at my bird feeder, and I could really sit and watch them forever. My momma got me started on the birds several years ago because she had discovered a love for feeding them and watching them. I live pretty high up, and I had a beautiful weeping willow by my porch, but it died last year and I thought my birds wouldn't come back. I was wrong.
And here they are again, tiny little brown sparrows, beautiful chickadees, big red birds (the cocky pretty males and plain Jane females) and the goldfinches, that are so bright yellow they look NEON, they hang on their finch sock for dear life and swing back and forth while they eat.
They fly in, eat for a moment, and fly out, and just seem so carefree.
It makes me think about the verse in Matthew 6:26-27" Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?" NLT
Now don't get me wrong...I don't think we all just need to fly around without a plan, and think...well, God is just going to take care of all this. But, I do think there is something to learn there. If God can take care of these small creatures, and give them to us to watch and enjoy, with all their beautiful colors and grace, how much more can He do for us?
How much more? Why should we worry and be downhearted? Maybe it is just enough to take what we have been given with grace and trust and live it out, knowing our Creator is in charge, and He will use our gifts, efforts and abilities for His glory and give us what we need each step of the way.
And here they are again, tiny little brown sparrows, beautiful chickadees, big red birds (the cocky pretty males and plain Jane females) and the goldfinches, that are so bright yellow they look NEON, they hang on their finch sock for dear life and swing back and forth while they eat.
They fly in, eat for a moment, and fly out, and just seem so carefree.
It makes me think about the verse in Matthew 6:26-27" Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?" NLT
Now don't get me wrong...I don't think we all just need to fly around without a plan, and think...well, God is just going to take care of all this. But, I do think there is something to learn there. If God can take care of these small creatures, and give them to us to watch and enjoy, with all their beautiful colors and grace, how much more can He do for us?
How much more? Why should we worry and be downhearted? Maybe it is just enough to take what we have been given with grace and trust and live it out, knowing our Creator is in charge, and He will use our gifts, efforts and abilities for His glory and give us what we need each step of the way.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Calico Trail
Nashville is a city full of dreamers. And it is especially sweet to see people, sweet, hardworking people, achieve some of their dreams. I am going tonight to hear some of my friends that are in the band, Calico Trail (www.myspace.com/calicotrail), play out for their first full band gig tonight! They are all amazing musicians, and have worked SO hard! And I can't WAIT to see what happens for them. So proud of Timmy D and Jon and all the other guys!
if you are around tonight, they will play at 12th and Porter in Nashville (AT 12th Ave and Porter...duh) at 9:00pm, which Nashville Time means 9:30pm.
COME OUT!
if you are around tonight, they will play at 12th and Porter in Nashville (AT 12th Ave and Porter...duh) at 9:00pm, which Nashville Time means 9:30pm.
COME OUT!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
The greatest choice
Money comes and goes, but love is forever. Beauty and youth will be a memory one day, but love is forever. Recognition and power will not comfort you or hold you, but love will. Love is the source that carries us into this world, through our brief life, and into eternity.
It is a choice we have to make, a daily decision. The biggest responsibility we can undertake, but the greatest blessing.
Choose love, it never fails.
It is a choice we have to make, a daily decision. The biggest responsibility we can undertake, but the greatest blessing.
Choose love, it never fails.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Things I love right now...
1. Being at the gym when "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" is on. I cut the bells and whistles on my cable to save $$$, and I only get about 20 channels now, the major networks, cable access and all the Christian channels. I miss E and Bravo, so I get really excited when providence sets in when I work out.
2. The devotional book "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. Everyday it gives me something to think about and hold on to through the whole day. I love it, I think I love it more than "My Utmost for His Highest"....It is simpler.
3. Waking up and seeing my kitties cuddling with me, they love to be all sweet and cuddly when it is cold outside..and inside.
4. Random texts or emails from old and far away friends. They come at the right time, always.
5. The Grill at Whole Foods. The luv the food, luv, luv, luv.
6. Laughing. Always. It never gets old, and it feels so good.
7. The website www.incourage.me I love it!!! You can get a daily devotional sent to your email.
8. The fact that my CD is done, and will be sent to duplication later this week. This is my greatest accomplishment, I do believe.
9. Coffeemate Italian Sweet Creme Creamer. Thank you Jesus.
10. That I will be an "cousin auntie" in just a month or two and then again in August, and they are BOTH girls!!!!
2. The devotional book "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. Everyday it gives me something to think about and hold on to through the whole day. I love it, I think I love it more than "My Utmost for His Highest"....It is simpler.
3. Waking up and seeing my kitties cuddling with me, they love to be all sweet and cuddly when it is cold outside..and inside.
4. Random texts or emails from old and far away friends. They come at the right time, always.
5. The Grill at Whole Foods. The luv the food, luv, luv, luv.
6. Laughing. Always. It never gets old, and it feels so good.
7. The website www.incourage.me I love it!!! You can get a daily devotional sent to your email.
8. The fact that my CD is done, and will be sent to duplication later this week. This is my greatest accomplishment, I do believe.
9. Coffeemate Italian Sweet Creme Creamer. Thank you Jesus.
10. That I will be an "cousin auntie" in just a month or two and then again in August, and they are BOTH girls!!!!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Thursday, February 18th
I am so very thankful that God pursues me, that He loves me. He is always letting me know that through the beauty of the sun, moon and stars, through the path of my life and they relationships I encounter along the way. He sings to me through music, and gives me the fragrance of who He is through roses and fresh cookies. He shows me delight through a child's laughter or animals playing.
He is never far away from me at all, and I am never out of his sight. He loves me that much. I did not do anything to earn this love, nor do I deserve it. But I am the apple of his eye, created for Him alone, every hair on my head and thought I have, He knows.
Just knowing this is enough when there are days that I doubt. I pray and trust that He will continuously remind me how much He loves his little girl named Tiffany.
He is never far away from me at all, and I am never out of his sight. He loves me that much. I did not do anything to earn this love, nor do I deserve it. But I am the apple of his eye, created for Him alone, every hair on my head and thought I have, He knows.
Just knowing this is enough when there are days that I doubt. I pray and trust that He will continuously remind me how much He loves his little girl named Tiffany.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Kids and Valentines
I had to speak at an elementary school today and it did me a world of good. Not only were all of the children at W.A. Wright Elementary attentive and well mannered, but such a sweet bunch as well. It is amazing to me how children are just uninhibited. They feel the need to hug, they do. I got down on my knees to their level and was having a very deep convo about hair with some 1st graders, they all wanted to show me their pigtails, sparkles on their jeans, missing teeth and so on. And one little girl just looked at me so sweetly and said "you have very pretty hair" and then just reached out and hugged me.
How can children just freely express what they feel? How come it feels so good when you get that from little munchkins? Maybe because we know that in those moments, it really is genuine, heartfelt. There are no "what's in it for me" thoughts, or withholding of affection. It just flows freely.
How can children just freely express what they feel? How come it feels so good when you get that from little munchkins? Maybe because we know that in those moments, it really is genuine, heartfelt. There are no "what's in it for me" thoughts, or withholding of affection. It just flows freely.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
scuffed and simple...and finished
I picked up the master copy of my record tonight. It only needs to be sent to the duplication company and then it is ready. Really ready, like buy it on ITunes, buy it on the website ready. And I am driving around tonight at 10:30 in my car listening, and yes, hearing all the little things that no one else will probably notice and remembering every "thing" behind the sounds, song, etc. And then I realized that the little disc in my CD player is a dream I actually got to experience come true. And in that moment, I just stopped listening and said a grateful prayer that I got to do this project, and said a prayer of thanks for the person that helped my dream come true.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Give it Away
"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it’s in your power to help them" Proverbs 3:27 (NLT)
I saw this verse today as I drove down the road. What a thought. A few things came to mind, I thought about times I am given an opportunity to give, and I don't. Maybe it is because of fear (lack of resources, that they will ask me again and I won't have it, etc), or self-righteousness (that person is in the shape they are in because of the choices they have made, blah, blah, blah).
But giving is my call as a human being and as a Christian. To love, to sacrifice, to expend myself to everyone. I guess I can't even make the judgment call on who deserves it, I just have to give, especially when I hold what they need in my hands.
My prayer is that I will learn to just give and give and give, even when I don't have much in the way of resources, and even when I feel alone, and empty, that I will have the strength to keep giving, and giving, and giving.
I saw this verse today as I drove down the road. What a thought. A few things came to mind, I thought about times I am given an opportunity to give, and I don't. Maybe it is because of fear (lack of resources, that they will ask me again and I won't have it, etc), or self-righteousness (that person is in the shape they are in because of the choices they have made, blah, blah, blah).
But giving is my call as a human being and as a Christian. To love, to sacrifice, to expend myself to everyone. I guess I can't even make the judgment call on who deserves it, I just have to give, especially when I hold what they need in my hands.
My prayer is that I will learn to just give and give and give, even when I don't have much in the way of resources, and even when I feel alone, and empty, that I will have the strength to keep giving, and giving, and giving.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
In their shoes
Haiti. wow. What can you really say?
I am watching the news and seeing the photos and it reminds me of 9/11. After a while, we were numb to the video and photos. "there goes the building collapse again, there is another shot of blood and tears and fear".
It is easy to get that way again. But all that we are viewing represents real flesh and blood; mommas, daddies, wives, husbands, orphans, widows, and they have lost so much. It is mind blowing. It can ALL be gone in a flash. It is NOT up to us. I am sitting in a Panera bread right now, typing this, and I looked up a moment ago and thought, wow, someone was sitting at a table in Haiti and the ceiling fell on them, no warning, nothing.
Life is short, people. Give this week to a relief organization, instead of an extra glass of wine, a magazine or something else. Say a prayer for the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. It is full of precious lives that have been rocked to the core. Be kind to your neighbor, and your neighbor's dog (or cat).
And remember, other than the grace of God, this could be us. How does that one thought color your next word or deed?
I am watching the news and seeing the photos and it reminds me of 9/11. After a while, we were numb to the video and photos. "there goes the building collapse again, there is another shot of blood and tears and fear".
It is easy to get that way again. But all that we are viewing represents real flesh and blood; mommas, daddies, wives, husbands, orphans, widows, and they have lost so much. It is mind blowing. It can ALL be gone in a flash. It is NOT up to us. I am sitting in a Panera bread right now, typing this, and I looked up a moment ago and thought, wow, someone was sitting at a table in Haiti and the ceiling fell on them, no warning, nothing.
Life is short, people. Give this week to a relief organization, instead of an extra glass of wine, a magazine or something else. Say a prayer for the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. It is full of precious lives that have been rocked to the core. Be kind to your neighbor, and your neighbor's dog (or cat).
And remember, other than the grace of God, this could be us. How does that one thought color your next word or deed?
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Technology...ugh
My 5 year old Dell (yep, I am so "with it") crashed Friday. I was devastated. It was time anyway, so now I am typing on a new HP 14 inch laptop. I have a ways to go to get it organized.
Technology is amazing, I posted on my twitter this week for North Dakota and Vermont to give me some love because they are the only 2 states where I have not gotten hits on my website, and BAM, I get tweets from those states. But technology is hard work just like everything else, you constantly have to adapt, change, and relearn. So, really nothing is all that easy. No matter how much "technology" we have. So, $1100 later, I have a new, protected laptop with a hard drive to backup files and a 3 year service plan in case I drop it or spill coffee on it.
....I miss a notepad, stamps and a walkman.
Technology is amazing, I posted on my twitter this week for North Dakota and Vermont to give me some love because they are the only 2 states where I have not gotten hits on my website, and BAM, I get tweets from those states. But technology is hard work just like everything else, you constantly have to adapt, change, and relearn. So, really nothing is all that easy. No matter how much "technology" we have. So, $1100 later, I have a new, protected laptop with a hard drive to backup files and a 3 year service plan in case I drop it or spill coffee on it.
....I miss a notepad, stamps and a walkman.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Deep Thoughts by Tiffany Johnson :)
I am very lighthearted at the moment and I realized it is time for a bloggie-blog. A couple of things to to talk about and then I am off to bed.
1. GO SEE "THE BLIND SIDE". Now. In the theater. GO. GO. GO. Not only is the story incredible, and TRUE. The acting is too. And it leaves you inspired, and ready to put yourself out there in an "inconvenient" way, which is usually the best thing that could happen to any one of us.
2. What is up with men that are with their families, wives, etc. all googly eyed over other women? I am far from the supermodel, but I got that look tonight as he was in tow behind his wife and two kids. And I watch men looking at other women too. Listen, I know you're not dead, but you're also supposedly committed and in love. So, respect your partner enough to AT LEAST be subtle and don't say someone's HOT in front of your lady either. NOT GOOD. It makes me sad.
3. I recut drums for my CD yesterday with Dan Needham. He wins the "Mr. Congeniality" Award for my CD project. Not only is he A-FREAKIN-MAZING, but he is a crackup. I laughed so hard my head hurt when I left, but I left with some kicka&s drums. :)
Happy FULL WEEK OF THE NEW YEAR!
1. GO SEE "THE BLIND SIDE". Now. In the theater. GO. GO. GO. Not only is the story incredible, and TRUE. The acting is too. And it leaves you inspired, and ready to put yourself out there in an "inconvenient" way, which is usually the best thing that could happen to any one of us.
2. What is up with men that are with their families, wives, etc. all googly eyed over other women? I am far from the supermodel, but I got that look tonight as he was in tow behind his wife and two kids. And I watch men looking at other women too. Listen, I know you're not dead, but you're also supposedly committed and in love. So, respect your partner enough to AT LEAST be subtle and don't say someone's HOT in front of your lady either. NOT GOOD. It makes me sad.
3. I recut drums for my CD yesterday with Dan Needham. He wins the "Mr. Congeniality" Award for my CD project. Not only is he A-FREAKIN-MAZING, but he is a crackup. I laughed so hard my head hurt when I left, but I left with some kicka&s drums. :)
Happy FULL WEEK OF THE NEW YEAR!
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