Faith

I am a control freak. There. I said it.

I love God, and want Him to be in control of my life, so often this control freak problem I have interferes with my faith. Not just in God, but in all areas of my life. I want to hold on to every little detail and control the outcome, not understanding that sometimes that is the absolute worst thing I can do to/and for Jesus, myself and others.

Having faith can be tricky at times though. Honestly, there are times in my day when my faith meter is way up, and then it comes crashing down when something doesn't go my way. And yet there is another key component of my problem. "Doesn't go my way".

The Bible says, "there is a way that seems right to man, but its end is the way to death" (Prov 16:5)

So, like I said, my way isn't always the right way. Yes, I have good intentions and pure motives, but I can't trust myself completely to take the right road. I need help, I need to take my hands off the wheel and let the one that made the roads and knows my ultimate path take over.

I think God sits up there sometimes just shaking his head at our boo-boos, and I think he hurts for us too. He hurts when we try everything else in the world to heal our hearts and give us joy except for Him. He sees us broken and lost, and wants to be that comfort to us.

I am thankful became a follower of Him almost 14 years ago. And I haven't clung to Him like I should, but I am a work in progress. And a control freak (but I am working on it)...

Seeds, Love and Dreams

I am very fortunate to have a wonderful church and pastor. And he has been speaking on a great thing: our life. The series is called 3 Lives, check out www.hopepark.com and listen.

He shared Mark 4:26-29 "26And He said, The kingdom of God is like a man who scatters seed upon the ground 27And then continues sleeping and rising night and day while the seed sprouts and grows and [l]increases--he knows not how. 28The earth produces [acting] by itself--first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. 29But when the grain is ripe and permits, immediately he [m]sends forth [the reapers] and puts in the sickle, because the harvest stands ready." AMP

He talked about the definition of the word SCATTER above. And that it in the original text, it is the word BALLO. And it means to throw out without care, to unselfishly let go of the seed.

It is really easy to hold on to our dreams and choke the life out of them, to put our seed only where we want things to grow, but in the end, somebody bigger than you and I is working all of that out. So, it is just easier to scatter our seed everywhere and know that God's growing patterns are much more productive than ours.

Blooming where we are planted, instead of waiting to bud where we would like to.

Scattering seed in places where we are uncomfortable and afraid, but knowing that something beautiful will grow there.


Loving is like caring for a garden. Love too much or too little and it dies, love just right and it will live forever.

I love Jessica Simpson

I was watching her new reality show "The Price of Beauty" tonight on VH1 while I was at the gym (multitasking). It is a really interesting show, she is traveling the world showing what women in all countries will do to be beautiful and what beauty is in different cultures.
I watched her on a talk show the other day too, and I just think a lot of her. I know she has gotten some bad press at times. But I think underneath it all, in spite of the stuff she has gone through, there is a beautiful soul there in her. She grew up with good roots, and they remain.
I love that she is vulnerable too, and not afraid to show that she may be hurt or confused. That, to me, is real strength. And she is funny, and real, and so freakin beautiful.

So, Jessica, if you read this....I love you and I believe in you. Thank you for being "real"

Oh yes, your eyes are not deceiving you. I went to Hillwood High School in Nashville, TN today to speak on behalf of Soles4Souls. The students had collected over 1500 pairs of shoes, and raised over $1000 to help us in our relief efforts to Haiti. They raised the money for a chance to either shave their teacher's heads or dye them green. And wow, was it awesome to watch!! It was great talking with the students, seeing their enthusiasm for this project, and hearing the teachers praise their efforts. And then they pulled me in. It was a simple question, "would you let them dye your hair", and without thinking, I said "yes".

And there I was in the chair, students screaming and cheering as they painted my long, blond hair. If you are not aware, my hair is a very big deal to me. I take really good care of it, and it is a crutch for me, no matter what, I can count on my hair looking good. But in the excitement of it all, I didn't really matter to me at first. But I won't lie, there was a moment where I did panic a little and think, "oh no, what if this doesn't wash out?"

But you know what, it did! And it was totally worth it, to cheer a bunch of high school students on through this! It's just hair! These kids donated their shoes, time and money for the chance to help change the world through the gift of shoes. It was a great experience! I even forgot as I drove home, until I saw the people staring at me in the car beside me.

Why worry

Spring is close. I know it because my little birdies wake me up before my alarm clock does outside. They are at my bird feeder, and I could really sit and watch them forever. My momma got me started on the birds several years ago because she had discovered a love for feeding them and watching them. I live pretty high up, and I had a beautiful weeping willow by my porch, but it died last year and I thought my birds wouldn't come back. I was wrong.

And here they are again, tiny little brown sparrows, beautiful chickadees, big red birds (the cocky pretty males and plain Jane females) and the goldfinches, that are so bright yellow they look NEON, they hang on their finch sock for dear life and swing back and forth while they eat.

They fly in, eat for a moment, and fly out, and just seem so carefree.

It makes me think about the verse in Matthew 6:26-27" Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?" NLT

Now don't get me wrong...I don't think we all just need to fly around without a plan, and think...well, God is just going to take care of all this. But, I do think there is something to learn there. If God can take care of these small creatures, and give them to us to watch and enjoy, with all their beautiful colors and grace, how much more can He do for us?

How much more? Why should we worry and be downhearted? Maybe it is just enough to take what we have been given with grace and trust and live it out, knowing our Creator is in charge, and He will use our gifts, efforts and abilities for His glory and give us what we need each step of the way.

Calico Trail

Nashville is a city full of dreamers. And it is especially sweet to see people, sweet, hardworking people, achieve some of their dreams. I am going tonight to hear some of my friends that are in the band, Calico Trail (www.myspace.com/calicotrail), play out for their first full band gig tonight! They are all amazing musicians, and have worked SO hard! And I can't WAIT to see what happens for them. So proud of Timmy D and Jon and all the other guys!

if you are around tonight, they will play at 12th and Porter in Nashville (AT 12th Ave and Porter...duh) at 9:00pm, which Nashville Time means 9:30pm.

COME OUT!

The greatest choice

Money comes and goes, but love is forever. Beauty and youth will be a memory one day, but love is forever. Recognition and power will not comfort you or hold you, but love will. Love is the source that carries us into this world, through our brief life, and into eternity.
It is a choice we have to make, a daily decision. The biggest responsibility we can undertake, but the greatest blessing.
Choose love, it never fails.