Faith

I am a control freak. There. I said it.

I love God, and want Him to be in control of my life, so often this control freak problem I have interferes with my faith. Not just in God, but in all areas of my life. I want to hold on to every little detail and control the outcome, not understanding that sometimes that is the absolute worst thing I can do to/and for Jesus, myself and others.

Having faith can be tricky at times though. Honestly, there are times in my day when my faith meter is way up, and then it comes crashing down when something doesn't go my way. And yet there is another key component of my problem. "Doesn't go my way".

The Bible says, "there is a way that seems right to man, but its end is the way to death" (Prov 16:5)

So, like I said, my way isn't always the right way. Yes, I have good intentions and pure motives, but I can't trust myself completely to take the right road. I need help, I need to take my hands off the wheel and let the one that made the roads and knows my ultimate path take over.

I think God sits up there sometimes just shaking his head at our boo-boos, and I think he hurts for us too. He hurts when we try everything else in the world to heal our hearts and give us joy except for Him. He sees us broken and lost, and wants to be that comfort to us.

I am thankful became a follower of Him almost 14 years ago. And I haven't clung to Him like I should, but I am a work in progress. And a control freak (but I am working on it)...