Trusting

Who can you really trust? That is a question I am asking myself more and more these days. That really bothers me that I am at the place where I consciously wonder who it is that I can trust.

Who can I trust?

It has always been very easy for me to talk to others about things that were pressing on my soul. It was comforting to talk to another person about issues that were on my mind, or weighing me down.

It am learning lately though that a) people usually don’t care about what you are saying if it doesn’t affect them directly b) a lot of people will tell another person what you confided in them about and c) the direct result to talking about your problems to another is JUST a momentary release of getting it out. OH, and d) bearing your soul to another can make them stress out over your issues FOR you, or make them think you are looney tunes depending on what you say.

So, what is this girl to do?

Not talk…yes, and no.

First, I am making a concentrated effort to talk to God about things first. He knows me the best anyway, and He is always there to listen to the good, bad and ugly. He loves me no matter what I say.

Second, choose carefully whom I confide in, and ask for wisdom from very few. Everybody has got their opinion and perspective, but if you are like me, I am a pleaser and I listen, which is good, but it can cause my vision to be cloudy. So, I know that it is best for me to narrow down the number of people I talk to and glean insight from. That doesn’t mean I am isolated from my community of friends, but it means I am choosing to guard my heart more and more.

Finally, I am asking for my heart to stay soft towards people and situations. When hurt moves into your life, it can cause you to harden up, become jaded. And I am a little jaded, but I just pray that my heart will stay tender.

I pray that I will remember people are just people, imperfect and extremely incapable of letting you down, the same way I let others down too.

So, I guess scripturally what I am asking for would be called “being as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves”

God, make me wise, strong, tender and pliable. Make me approachable, readable, guarded and teachable. God, make ME