I had to speak at an elementary school today and it did me a world of good. Not only were all of the children at W.A. Wright Elementary attentive and well mannered, but such a sweet bunch as well. It is amazing to me how children are just uninhibited. They feel the need to hug, they do. I got down on my knees to their level and was having a very deep convo about hair with some 1st graders, they all wanted to show me their pigtails, sparkles on their jeans, missing teeth and so on. And one little girl just looked at me so sweetly and said "you have very pretty hair" and then just reached out and hugged me.
How can children just freely express what they feel? How come it feels so good when you get that from little munchkins? Maybe because we know that in those moments, it really is genuine, heartfelt. There are no "what's in it for me" thoughts, or withholding of affection. It just flows freely.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
scuffed and simple...and finished
I picked up the master copy of my record tonight. It only needs to be sent to the duplication company and then it is ready. Really ready, like buy it on ITunes, buy it on the website ready. And I am driving around tonight at 10:30 in my car listening, and yes, hearing all the little things that no one else will probably notice and remembering every "thing" behind the sounds, song, etc. And then I realized that the little disc in my CD player is a dream I actually got to experience come true. And in that moment, I just stopped listening and said a grateful prayer that I got to do this project, and said a prayer of thanks for the person that helped my dream come true.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Give it Away
"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it’s in your power to help them" Proverbs 3:27 (NLT)
I saw this verse today as I drove down the road. What a thought. A few things came to mind, I thought about times I am given an opportunity to give, and I don't. Maybe it is because of fear (lack of resources, that they will ask me again and I won't have it, etc), or self-righteousness (that person is in the shape they are in because of the choices they have made, blah, blah, blah).
But giving is my call as a human being and as a Christian. To love, to sacrifice, to expend myself to everyone. I guess I can't even make the judgment call on who deserves it, I just have to give, especially when I hold what they need in my hands.
My prayer is that I will learn to just give and give and give, even when I don't have much in the way of resources, and even when I feel alone, and empty, that I will have the strength to keep giving, and giving, and giving.
I saw this verse today as I drove down the road. What a thought. A few things came to mind, I thought about times I am given an opportunity to give, and I don't. Maybe it is because of fear (lack of resources, that they will ask me again and I won't have it, etc), or self-righteousness (that person is in the shape they are in because of the choices they have made, blah, blah, blah).
But giving is my call as a human being and as a Christian. To love, to sacrifice, to expend myself to everyone. I guess I can't even make the judgment call on who deserves it, I just have to give, especially when I hold what they need in my hands.
My prayer is that I will learn to just give and give and give, even when I don't have much in the way of resources, and even when I feel alone, and empty, that I will have the strength to keep giving, and giving, and giving.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
In their shoes
Haiti. wow. What can you really say?
I am watching the news and seeing the photos and it reminds me of 9/11. After a while, we were numb to the video and photos. "there goes the building collapse again, there is another shot of blood and tears and fear".
It is easy to get that way again. But all that we are viewing represents real flesh and blood; mommas, daddies, wives, husbands, orphans, widows, and they have lost so much. It is mind blowing. It can ALL be gone in a flash. It is NOT up to us. I am sitting in a Panera bread right now, typing this, and I looked up a moment ago and thought, wow, someone was sitting at a table in Haiti and the ceiling fell on them, no warning, nothing.
Life is short, people. Give this week to a relief organization, instead of an extra glass of wine, a magazine or something else. Say a prayer for the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. It is full of precious lives that have been rocked to the core. Be kind to your neighbor, and your neighbor's dog (or cat).
And remember, other than the grace of God, this could be us. How does that one thought color your next word or deed?
I am watching the news and seeing the photos and it reminds me of 9/11. After a while, we were numb to the video and photos. "there goes the building collapse again, there is another shot of blood and tears and fear".
It is easy to get that way again. But all that we are viewing represents real flesh and blood; mommas, daddies, wives, husbands, orphans, widows, and they have lost so much. It is mind blowing. It can ALL be gone in a flash. It is NOT up to us. I am sitting in a Panera bread right now, typing this, and I looked up a moment ago and thought, wow, someone was sitting at a table in Haiti and the ceiling fell on them, no warning, nothing.
Life is short, people. Give this week to a relief organization, instead of an extra glass of wine, a magazine or something else. Say a prayer for the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. It is full of precious lives that have been rocked to the core. Be kind to your neighbor, and your neighbor's dog (or cat).
And remember, other than the grace of God, this could be us. How does that one thought color your next word or deed?
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Technology...ugh
My 5 year old Dell (yep, I am so "with it") crashed Friday. I was devastated. It was time anyway, so now I am typing on a new HP 14 inch laptop. I have a ways to go to get it organized.
Technology is amazing, I posted on my twitter this week for North Dakota and Vermont to give me some love because they are the only 2 states where I have not gotten hits on my website, and BAM, I get tweets from those states. But technology is hard work just like everything else, you constantly have to adapt, change, and relearn. So, really nothing is all that easy. No matter how much "technology" we have. So, $1100 later, I have a new, protected laptop with a hard drive to backup files and a 3 year service plan in case I drop it or spill coffee on it.
....I miss a notepad, stamps and a walkman.
Technology is amazing, I posted on my twitter this week for North Dakota and Vermont to give me some love because they are the only 2 states where I have not gotten hits on my website, and BAM, I get tweets from those states. But technology is hard work just like everything else, you constantly have to adapt, change, and relearn. So, really nothing is all that easy. No matter how much "technology" we have. So, $1100 later, I have a new, protected laptop with a hard drive to backup files and a 3 year service plan in case I drop it or spill coffee on it.
....I miss a notepad, stamps and a walkman.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Deep Thoughts by Tiffany Johnson :)
I am very lighthearted at the moment and I realized it is time for a bloggie-blog. A couple of things to to talk about and then I am off to bed.
1. GO SEE "THE BLIND SIDE". Now. In the theater. GO. GO. GO. Not only is the story incredible, and TRUE. The acting is too. And it leaves you inspired, and ready to put yourself out there in an "inconvenient" way, which is usually the best thing that could happen to any one of us.
2. What is up with men that are with their families, wives, etc. all googly eyed over other women? I am far from the supermodel, but I got that look tonight as he was in tow behind his wife and two kids. And I watch men looking at other women too. Listen, I know you're not dead, but you're also supposedly committed and in love. So, respect your partner enough to AT LEAST be subtle and don't say someone's HOT in front of your lady either. NOT GOOD. It makes me sad.
3. I recut drums for my CD yesterday with Dan Needham. He wins the "Mr. Congeniality" Award for my CD project. Not only is he A-FREAKIN-MAZING, but he is a crackup. I laughed so hard my head hurt when I left, but I left with some kicka&s drums. :)
Happy FULL WEEK OF THE NEW YEAR!
1. GO SEE "THE BLIND SIDE". Now. In the theater. GO. GO. GO. Not only is the story incredible, and TRUE. The acting is too. And it leaves you inspired, and ready to put yourself out there in an "inconvenient" way, which is usually the best thing that could happen to any one of us.
2. What is up with men that are with their families, wives, etc. all googly eyed over other women? I am far from the supermodel, but I got that look tonight as he was in tow behind his wife and two kids. And I watch men looking at other women too. Listen, I know you're not dead, but you're also supposedly committed and in love. So, respect your partner enough to AT LEAST be subtle and don't say someone's HOT in front of your lady either. NOT GOOD. It makes me sad.
3. I recut drums for my CD yesterday with Dan Needham. He wins the "Mr. Congeniality" Award for my CD project. Not only is he A-FREAKIN-MAZING, but he is a crackup. I laughed so hard my head hurt when I left, but I left with some kicka&s drums. :)
Happy FULL WEEK OF THE NEW YEAR!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Happy Birthday Daddy.
A note to you:
This is very close to my heart. As you will read, my Dad is no longer here on earth for me to have a relationship with. Fathers, cherish your daughters. They are your princesses and they deserve nothing less, even if they have made mistakes (who hasn't?). Daughters, forgive your fathers for things that warrant true forgiveness and acceptance of a relationship and mend it. Time is a gift we cannot get back.
In 2002 my Dad died. We had an often turbulent relationship, and the last year of his life we did not speak. I spent a lot of time fearing him, dreading to see him and then distancing myself from him. He could be a beautiful person, he was blond and tall and had the most amazing personality and I can remember being little and just worshipping him.
But sometimes, he wasn't beautiful. He could be cruel, and critical; often making me feel like the smallest person in the world. He had a unique way of stomping all over my dreams, squashing my creativity and verbally tearing me to pieces.
Maybe he thought he was being practical, but an artistic little girl needed nurturing and affirmation. She needed to know the THE man in her life thought she was beautiful and marvelous.
So, for most of the moments in my life, he wasn't there. He was a shadow in my life and sometimes, the sun would briefly shine through. I got weary of having that shadow cast on me and went for months without calling him. He never called me anyway, and more time just passed.
And then he was gone. He died January 17, 2002. I didn't fully accept it until several years ago. And then I grieved, I remembered what he smelled like, Coast soap and dirt and sweat...my truck smells like him. I remembered memories; hunting, riding in the pickup, watching Westerns on Sunday. I found a letter from him he sent to me in college, telling me he was proud of me and in so many words, apologizing for not being much of a parent.
If I could have 5 minutes with him, I would make him sing the song to me he made up about us. I cannot remember the words, I wish I could. I would drink a cup of coffee with him, he loved coffee and it seemed that his cup was never empty. I would make him tell me stories about being a little boy and about his horses and cows.
I would look at him and understand that he was just so screwed up, he couldn't help it if he didn't know how to love me.
I would ask if he thought I was beautiful, and hope he said yes, because all little girls need that from their Daddy.
I would extend grace and forgiveness to him for not being there for me. I would ask him to do the same for me.
I have a picture of him as a young man. He was beautiful and flawed, misunderstood and charismatic, and lonely. And he was my Dad
And I love him, just as he was.
This is very close to my heart. As you will read, my Dad is no longer here on earth for me to have a relationship with. Fathers, cherish your daughters. They are your princesses and they deserve nothing less, even if they have made mistakes (who hasn't?). Daughters, forgive your fathers for things that warrant true forgiveness and acceptance of a relationship and mend it. Time is a gift we cannot get back.
In 2002 my Dad died. We had an often turbulent relationship, and the last year of his life we did not speak. I spent a lot of time fearing him, dreading to see him and then distancing myself from him. He could be a beautiful person, he was blond and tall and had the most amazing personality and I can remember being little and just worshipping him.
But sometimes, he wasn't beautiful. He could be cruel, and critical; often making me feel like the smallest person in the world. He had a unique way of stomping all over my dreams, squashing my creativity and verbally tearing me to pieces.
Maybe he thought he was being practical, but an artistic little girl needed nurturing and affirmation. She needed to know the THE man in her life thought she was beautiful and marvelous.
So, for most of the moments in my life, he wasn't there. He was a shadow in my life and sometimes, the sun would briefly shine through. I got weary of having that shadow cast on me and went for months without calling him. He never called me anyway, and more time just passed.
And then he was gone. He died January 17, 2002. I didn't fully accept it until several years ago. And then I grieved, I remembered what he smelled like, Coast soap and dirt and sweat...my truck smells like him. I remembered memories; hunting, riding in the pickup, watching Westerns on Sunday. I found a letter from him he sent to me in college, telling me he was proud of me and in so many words, apologizing for not being much of a parent.
If I could have 5 minutes with him, I would make him sing the song to me he made up about us. I cannot remember the words, I wish I could. I would drink a cup of coffee with him, he loved coffee and it seemed that his cup was never empty. I would make him tell me stories about being a little boy and about his horses and cows.
I would look at him and understand that he was just so screwed up, he couldn't help it if he didn't know how to love me.
I would ask if he thought I was beautiful, and hope he said yes, because all little girls need that from their Daddy.
I would extend grace and forgiveness to him for not being there for me. I would ask him to do the same for me.
I have a picture of him as a young man. He was beautiful and flawed, misunderstood and charismatic, and lonely. And he was my Dad
And I love him, just as he was.
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