This was something I tweeted on December 17th:
"Sometimes we have to clean out the closet of our heart to allow more good things inside"
I have been chewing on this little statement for a while and felt that it needed more than 140 characters. I do love Twitter, I must confess, but I wanted to share more when it came to this. Cleaning out our closet is not just about confession, although that seems to be the first thing we think of.
I don't have a huge closet at home, thank God. That regulates my shopping. And I find myself cleaning it out a couple times each year. Sometimes, I find things that I just don't wear anymore, because of various reasons (they don't fit, they are dated, they look too much like something I already had) and I make a choice to part with them. I make that choice to eliminate clutter, and to make room for something better.
I believe that our hearts need much the same. We hold on to things sometimes that we have absolutely NO reason to. And IF we just let go, I think we would all be made better. We would have much more room to accept, enjoy, make peace and live life joyfully with the items we CHOOSE to hold on to. We would give our "closet" (our heart) room to hold more, and store things that mean the most to us, instead of housing items that take up unnecessary room and are not needed or utilized.
And you know what I have learned from cleaning out my closet? I have learned to be wise with what I choose to put in there from now on. I choose more carefully now what I let in, and I guard and care for what is in there.
I did some closet cleaning this year in my heart. It freed me up to love with more conviction and intent, it gave me more peace than I had before, and it opened my eyes to the things I really needed. Sure, it was hard to part with a few things, but in the end, I didn't really need them anyway.
Will you clean out your closet? Will you allow yourself to part with things that clutter your life and make room for the things you need the most?
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
35 Candles...
In honor of my (ahem) 35th Birthday, I decided to make a list of items that are "candles" in my life, points of light that burn bright in my heart and life, whether it be a friendship, good cup of coffee, or a defining moment forever living in my memory. So, here goes, and of course, they are not in order of importance. WARNING: some will be very poignant and some of them may be ultra shallow...but still, they have made me happy or given me joy in some way.
1. Leading Worship at Hopepark and offering that gift up.
2. Making my Momma pee in her pants.
3. Going to the register only to find that the clearance is an additional 25% off.
4. Kneeling in front of someone and fitting them with a new pair of shoes for Soles4Souls
5. Meeting my soulmate someday.
6. Being around the house when the Today Show comes on and being able to hear the theme song and watch the opening credits.
7. Making a baby smile.
8. Getting random texts or letters from people in my life, near and far. It's like a butterfly kiss.
9. Dreaming about my future and what my story is left to be.
10. A great cup of coffee from Starbucks.
11. Hearing my friend Tami laugh.
12. Hot Wings...VERY HOT WINGS.
13. Looking back and seeing how something difficult in my life has made me grow....
14. Days when my Bible Study is a DIRECT correlation to my present circumstance. When God does that, I am always floored.
15. People who humbly share their story with authentic passion.
16. Paxville, SC Sunsets
17. A letter from Leigh-Ann McCune that she wrote to me when she was a teenager.
18. When my furbabies snuggle with me when it's cold.
19. My true-blue friendships
20. A really good pair of jeans (True Religion)
21. Serving in Shoe Distributions side by side with Wayne
22. The Zodiacs
23. The smell in the air when fall is just around the corner.
24. The first time I hear a really great song.
25. How I feel after I have served another person...the absolute best.
26. My Mom's Chicken Tenders, Gravy and Cabbage
27. Nude Lip Gloss
28. High Heels
29. Magazines
30. Finishing Well.
31. Singing "Jesus Never Fails" every night of the Truth Farewell Tour
32. Seeing someone I love happy
33. Chicken McNuggets
34. Having Peace.
35. Anticipating what is yet to be...
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Under Construction
Sometimes we have those "lamp" moments. It is as if someone pulled the switch and we can "see", you know? Today, I had yet another as my friend shared this amazing quote with me:
"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised.
But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is he up to? The explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards.
You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but he is building up a palace. He intends to come and live in it himself."
C.S. Lewis, in Mere Christianity
What do I say in response to this? I have always loved the thought of a sweet little cottage, but if I can be a palace....well, alrighty then.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Just around the corner...
YWCA Distribution-November 2010
On a beautiful fall day I traveled to the Davidson County YWCA Domestic Violence Shelter to distribute shoes on behalf of Soles4Souls. With about 20-30 pairs in my car, I arrived at the shelter to distribute shoes to the current shelter residents.
As we prepared the shoes for the women in the shelter to come receive them, I learned that there are over 20 women and roughly 15-20 children currently living in the shelter. These women and children come to the Y to flee domestic violence situations, some of them with just the clothes on their back and shoes on their feet. They come to an undisclosed location for safety, so that they can rebuild their lives without continuing to live in the physical, mental and verbal abuse many of them have suffered from.
As the ladies came out, I was greeted by friendly faces that enjoyed choosing a new pair of shoes that fit just right. Many of the shoes I brought were from Red Wing, and they were perfect shoes for some of the women that had started new jobs where sturdy, protective footwear were just what they needed. One woman was overcome by emotion as she received her new shoes, stating that her new pair now made 2 pairs she had to wear now. The gratitude and thankfulness in their voices made me well aware of the need they had for shoes, and just how much they appreciated it.
I fit two young boys, brothers 9 and 11, with new shoes as well. Seeing their eyes light up over new sneakers and being able to lace them up tight was a great experience! They were so thrilled to have a nice, new pair of shoes to go to school with.
I was reminded as I left the YWCA that day that although Soles4Souls distributes to over 125 countries worldwide, there are SO many needs here in the US as well. We never know what our neighbor, co-worker, or even close friend may be going through. Sometimes something so simple as the gift of shoes can help change their world for the better. Someone not TOO far from you is hurting, and is in trouble.
Every time I go on a distribution for Soles4Souls, I again realize the importance of our mission and it always puts everything into focus for me. You cannot out-give, out-love, out-serve.
On a beautiful fall day I traveled to the Davidson County YWCA Domestic Violence Shelter to distribute shoes on behalf of Soles4Souls. With about 20-30 pairs in my car, I arrived at the shelter to distribute shoes to the current shelter residents.
As we prepared the shoes for the women in the shelter to come receive them, I learned that there are over 20 women and roughly 15-20 children currently living in the shelter. These women and children come to the Y to flee domestic violence situations, some of them with just the clothes on their back and shoes on their feet. They come to an undisclosed location for safety, so that they can rebuild their lives without continuing to live in the physical, mental and verbal abuse many of them have suffered from.
As the ladies came out, I was greeted by friendly faces that enjoyed choosing a new pair of shoes that fit just right. Many of the shoes I brought were from Red Wing, and they were perfect shoes for some of the women that had started new jobs where sturdy, protective footwear were just what they needed. One woman was overcome by emotion as she received her new shoes, stating that her new pair now made 2 pairs she had to wear now. The gratitude and thankfulness in their voices made me well aware of the need they had for shoes, and just how much they appreciated it.
I fit two young boys, brothers 9 and 11, with new shoes as well. Seeing their eyes light up over new sneakers and being able to lace them up tight was a great experience! They were so thrilled to have a nice, new pair of shoes to go to school with.
I was reminded as I left the YWCA that day that although Soles4Souls distributes to over 125 countries worldwide, there are SO many needs here in the US as well. We never know what our neighbor, co-worker, or even close friend may be going through. Sometimes something so simple as the gift of shoes can help change their world for the better. Someone not TOO far from you is hurting, and is in trouble.
Every time I go on a distribution for Soles4Souls, I again realize the importance of our mission and it always puts everything into focus for me. You cannot out-give, out-love, out-serve.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Little Pieces
I'm 34 years old, soon to be 35. I find it HIGHLY unlikely that I will have children and I'm completely OK with that. But some people in my life are not so ok with it, and have even asked me "But who will take care of you when you are older?" I know they meant well, but having a child does not guarantee that I have adequate care when I am a senior citizen and unable to care for myself.
Some people think its a little unusual that I don't pine over having a baby. I love babies so much, love other people's babies and caring for them. But that doesn't mean I need a baby.
I look at it this way...what if by not having children I can go out and love on so many children and individuals who do not have a mother or someone to love them? What if that is my legacy?
"If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it may be because pieces will feed a multitude when a loaf would satisfy only a little boy" Elisabeth Elliot
I love this quote, I have for over 10 years. When I read this quote above, I interpret it many ways: Yes, when we are broken before God, He basically divides and conquers with the pieces of our life. I also see this quote as an explanation, somewhat, over the BABY question in my own life.
I want to touch AS MANY HURTING PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD AS I CAN. And I think the solution for me to do that is to be freed up on some levels that others are not.
And God has been SO gracious to me to put people into my life that I have been able to "mother" and pour myself into, and this fills me and gives me so much joy.
I think everyone has their own unique path. Sometimes it is not 2.5 kids, a pool and a SUV.
People will see me holding a baby sometimes and say "That is a good look on you". And you know what? They are right. Loving another person and showing compassion and tenderness is a good look on anyone.
It looks the same as:
Kneeling at the feet of a homeless man with no teeth and fitting him with shoes
Putting on rainboots and gloves to clean out a flood ravaged home
Having a friend over late into the night because she just needs to talk
Watching a young woman grow into adulthood that you have had the honor of mentoring for 10 years
And I'm not finished...I want to DO SO MUCH MORE...and expend myself more. Love more, care more....nurture more.
Whoever you are, Wherever you are, children, no children, its OK!
Just remember, everyone has a different path....but I think we all hope for the same destination.
Some people think its a little unusual that I don't pine over having a baby. I love babies so much, love other people's babies and caring for them. But that doesn't mean I need a baby.
I look at it this way...what if by not having children I can go out and love on so many children and individuals who do not have a mother or someone to love them? What if that is my legacy?
"If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it may be because pieces will feed a multitude when a loaf would satisfy only a little boy" Elisabeth Elliot
I love this quote, I have for over 10 years. When I read this quote above, I interpret it many ways: Yes, when we are broken before God, He basically divides and conquers with the pieces of our life. I also see this quote as an explanation, somewhat, over the BABY question in my own life.
I want to touch AS MANY HURTING PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD AS I CAN. And I think the solution for me to do that is to be freed up on some levels that others are not.
And God has been SO gracious to me to put people into my life that I have been able to "mother" and pour myself into, and this fills me and gives me so much joy.
I think everyone has their own unique path. Sometimes it is not 2.5 kids, a pool and a SUV.
People will see me holding a baby sometimes and say "That is a good look on you". And you know what? They are right. Loving another person and showing compassion and tenderness is a good look on anyone.
It looks the same as:
Kneeling at the feet of a homeless man with no teeth and fitting him with shoes
Putting on rainboots and gloves to clean out a flood ravaged home
Having a friend over late into the night because she just needs to talk
Watching a young woman grow into adulthood that you have had the honor of mentoring for 10 years
And I'm not finished...I want to DO SO MUCH MORE...and expend myself more. Love more, care more....nurture more.
Whoever you are, Wherever you are, children, no children, its OK!
Just remember, everyone has a different path....but I think we all hope for the same destination.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Trusting
Who can you really trust? That is a question I am asking myself more and more these days. That really bothers me that I am at the place where I consciously wonder who it is that I can trust.
Who can I trust?
It has always been very easy for me to talk to others about things that were pressing on my soul. It was comforting to talk to another person about issues that were on my mind, or weighing me down.
It am learning lately though that a) people usually don’t care about what you are saying if it doesn’t affect them directly b) a lot of people will tell another person what you confided in them about and c) the direct result to talking about your problems to another is JUST a momentary release of getting it out. OH, and d) bearing your soul to another can make them stress out over your issues FOR you, or make them think you are looney tunes depending on what you say.
So, what is this girl to do?
Not talk…yes, and no.
First, I am making a concentrated effort to talk to God about things first. He knows me the best anyway, and He is always there to listen to the good, bad and ugly. He loves me no matter what I say.
Second, choose carefully whom I confide in, and ask for wisdom from very few. Everybody has got their opinion and perspective, but if you are like me, I am a pleaser and I listen, which is good, but it can cause my vision to be cloudy. So, I know that it is best for me to narrow down the number of people I talk to and glean insight from. That doesn’t mean I am isolated from my community of friends, but it means I am choosing to guard my heart more and more.
Finally, I am asking for my heart to stay soft towards people and situations. When hurt moves into your life, it can cause you to harden up, become jaded. And I am a little jaded, but I just pray that my heart will stay tender.
I pray that I will remember people are just people, imperfect and extremely incapable of letting you down, the same way I let others down too.
So, I guess scripturally what I am asking for would be called “being as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves”
God, make me wise, strong, tender and pliable. Make me approachable, readable, guarded and teachable. God, make ME
Who can I trust?
It has always been very easy for me to talk to others about things that were pressing on my soul. It was comforting to talk to another person about issues that were on my mind, or weighing me down.
It am learning lately though that a) people usually don’t care about what you are saying if it doesn’t affect them directly b) a lot of people will tell another person what you confided in them about and c) the direct result to talking about your problems to another is JUST a momentary release of getting it out. OH, and d) bearing your soul to another can make them stress out over your issues FOR you, or make them think you are looney tunes depending on what you say.
So, what is this girl to do?
Not talk…yes, and no.
First, I am making a concentrated effort to talk to God about things first. He knows me the best anyway, and He is always there to listen to the good, bad and ugly. He loves me no matter what I say.
Second, choose carefully whom I confide in, and ask for wisdom from very few. Everybody has got their opinion and perspective, but if you are like me, I am a pleaser and I listen, which is good, but it can cause my vision to be cloudy. So, I know that it is best for me to narrow down the number of people I talk to and glean insight from. That doesn’t mean I am isolated from my community of friends, but it means I am choosing to guard my heart more and more.
Finally, I am asking for my heart to stay soft towards people and situations. When hurt moves into your life, it can cause you to harden up, become jaded. And I am a little jaded, but I just pray that my heart will stay tender.
I pray that I will remember people are just people, imperfect and extremely incapable of letting you down, the same way I let others down too.
So, I guess scripturally what I am asking for would be called “being as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves”
God, make me wise, strong, tender and pliable. Make me approachable, readable, guarded and teachable. God, make ME
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Glass Slipper Fit
Haiti, July 2010:
On a summer distribution trip to Haiti, we travelled outside of Port Au Prince in a small community hit badly by the earthquake. The distribution was at a church, the building had been leveled by the devastation, and a tarped roof and wooden benches now served as the church center. 300 people quickly piled in the small area when they had heard by word of mouth that shoes were being given away. I was in the corner during the distribution fitting children with shoes, their little hands using the top of my head as a way to balance as they were fitted for a new pair of shoes. With the language barrier, it was sometimes hard to figure out if the shoes were too big or small, but a big smile from each child definitely gave us the feedback, that “YES” they loved their new shoes. As the inventory was getting lower, I was fitting a young girl (probably about 11 or 12) and could not find a pair to fit her. She pointed to my slip-on Converse sneakers, letting me know that she liked them, and I figured it was worth a try. The thought went through my mind, but what will I wear? Wow, how selfish, when the thought that probably plagued this young girl’s mind was more like, “I hope I don’t step on anything sharp today and hurt my foot". I slipped my shoe off and onto her foot, and found that it was a glass slipper fit. Perfect. I handed her both of my shoes with a fullness in my heart that cannot be explained and watched her walk away with a huge smile, with her new treasure in her arms.
I found a pair of boys tennis shoes to wear that were too big for me. It was a great lesson I learned that day. One, in giving of even the clothing/shoes on my back, and two, what a challenge it is to walk around and live life in shoes that do not fit properly. My shoes were too big, and they hindered me from being 100% because I couldn’t walk as fast, they irritated my feet and took my mind off of what I was trying to accomplish because it held me back.
Great lesson learned.
Maybe you cannot go to Haiti...but you can give to Soles4Souls and help us continue to change lives...one pair of Converse sneakers at a time...
On a summer distribution trip to Haiti, we travelled outside of Port Au Prince in a small community hit badly by the earthquake. The distribution was at a church, the building had been leveled by the devastation, and a tarped roof and wooden benches now served as the church center. 300 people quickly piled in the small area when they had heard by word of mouth that shoes were being given away. I was in the corner during the distribution fitting children with shoes, their little hands using the top of my head as a way to balance as they were fitted for a new pair of shoes. With the language barrier, it was sometimes hard to figure out if the shoes were too big or small, but a big smile from each child definitely gave us the feedback, that “YES” they loved their new shoes. As the inventory was getting lower, I was fitting a young girl (probably about 11 or 12) and could not find a pair to fit her. She pointed to my slip-on Converse sneakers, letting me know that she liked them, and I figured it was worth a try. The thought went through my mind, but what will I wear? Wow, how selfish, when the thought that probably plagued this young girl’s mind was more like, “I hope I don’t step on anything sharp today and hurt my foot". I slipped my shoe off and onto her foot, and found that it was a glass slipper fit. Perfect. I handed her both of my shoes with a fullness in my heart that cannot be explained and watched her walk away with a huge smile, with her new treasure in her arms.
I found a pair of boys tennis shoes to wear that were too big for me. It was a great lesson I learned that day. One, in giving of even the clothing/shoes on my back, and two, what a challenge it is to walk around and live life in shoes that do not fit properly. My shoes were too big, and they hindered me from being 100% because I couldn’t walk as fast, they irritated my feet and took my mind off of what I was trying to accomplish because it held me back.
Great lesson learned.
Maybe you cannot go to Haiti...but you can give to Soles4Souls and help us continue to change lives...one pair of Converse sneakers at a time...
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