Tiffany Johnson

My BLOG has moved

2011-06-24T05:37:00.000-07:00

Hey ya'll, my new blog address is right here, just click Tiffany Johnson Blog

Do..Wear your underwear

2011-06-14T20:12:00.000-07:00

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do" Eleanor Roosevelt

What a quote...one of my favorites, for this chicken little of a girl from SC. Quoted by a woman that clearly did many things she probably never fathomed. I can be quite fearful of a lot of things, and so Sunday night, I dove head-first into one of them.

For the first time in a looong time (and I mean long), I attempted to write a song with two of my dear friends. We have been discussing the act of writing for a long time, and I always find a reason to push it back.

It scares me to death, its like standing in front of a bunch of people with your underwear on..people you don't know, that you particularly don't want to be seen by in your underwear either..and the underwear is probably not the best ones you own. Yep, that sums it up perfectly...

So, we ate and visited and then retired to the living room, and then he pulled out his guitar, and she pulled out her computer, and I braced myself for the shots from the firing range..I started to sweat..(I don't sweat unless I am working out really hard). And then we started talking and he started playing, and we started CREATING..and it was joy and passion and it felt wonderful. Because, as my crazy friend Billy says, "we create because we were CREATED"

And the beauty of it was...I forgot about being scared. I let go of my fear, and afterwards I felt lighter, and whole, and I could feel God smiling down on me, saying "that's my girl". What feels better than that, knowing your Creator, your Father is looking down on you and being pleased, because you left your fear behind and lived in what He CREATED you to do, even if it was just for a moment?

And it's Tuesday, and I was one big ball of anxiety today...work, stuff, etc., it all gets to us, it gets to me. And we FEAR...and push back the things that we are CREATED to do.

But, I want to continue to exist in the passion of what I was created to do, which is many things, but most of all, it is to live my life without fear. With courage, and PASSION...LOTS OF PASSION. Because passion cannot be manufactured, people. And believe me, it is contagious and easily recognized, and it draws others in, like a moth to a flame.

What do you think you cannot do? You probably CAN do it..give it try.

And if you are scared, I will stand beside you in my underwear too..

Pockets

2011-06-11T01:04:00.000-07:00

It is very easy to look at the injustices of the world and the disasters that are swirling around us, and start to get very overwhelmed. If we stand underneath the umbrella of poverty, global natural disasters, war, genocide, AIDS and the many other factors that leave our world broken, we can start to wonder if we will ever make a difference and even put a dent in these issues.

I am starting to believe there is an answer to this burden, and a tangible way for each of us to really make a difference in our world.

Find a pocket... And what I mean by "pocket" is simply this: find something you can directly put your hands to, it may be in your own community or through a global network. Something that may seem small to you, may be the one factor in changing the life-path of another human being forever.

I talk to people all of the time that feel as though they have to do something BIG to be significant and the more I work in the social profit sector, I see that the answers for change aren't always in the BIG IDEAS. Yes, there are people who birth visions, and they grow into movements that really do cause a shift in people's thinking and actions, and this in turn, changes society. But, not everyone is a visionary and is meant to do something on a grand scale. And the sad thing is that our world is conditioning us to the fact that in order to "count", you have to do something big....AND IT IS JUST NOT TRUE.

Find a pocket in your world and start right there. Maybe you have a heart for children, have you ever heard of Big Brothers, Big Sisters? Minimum commitment, and the possibility for greatness is virtually endless. Or sponsor a child through Compassion, or World Vision. What it would cost to have a great dinner can sustain a precious boy or girl somewhere in this great, big, small world...and these organizations are FULL OF INTEGRITY AND TRUTH.

Maybe it is even simpler than this...maybe it is stopping and getting breakfast or lunch for the homeless person near your job, and actually having a conversation with them. Acknowledging their life by giving them a few moments of your time, and a hot meal. Or, serving a single mom or dad in your life with babysitting so they can have a night off.

Let's get even simpler, what about your co-workers, your boss, your family...just speaking words of kindness into their life, and having extra patience...what if this was done by us every day, the possibility for change is ENDLESS...in this little pocket.

So, I hope you can see that there are pockets of possibility all around us for making the world a better place. There are enough charities, I honestly don't think the answer lies in starting another one. I truly believe that the answer for changing our world lies in our own hands, in our own worlds, in our own pockets.

What will you do?

Copper John...

2011-06-08T17:18:00.000-07:00

If you go to Little Five Points In Atlanta, you find a small man there named John. He has skin the color of hot chocolate, with a gray beard and chances are he will be wearing brown Converse high tops. He sells his jewelry there, necklaces and bracelets made with gold, silver and copper wire formed into intricate pieces. Some holding precious stones, and rings that wrap delicately around your fingers. He is an artist, he is homeless, he says he "retired" from crack after nearly half a lifetime of fighting that addiction.

I googled him tonight and the photos are of a very different man than the one I met yesterday. His eyes twinkle now, he is not as gaunt as the pictures show him to be. Hope is etched into his face.

I believe in divine appointments, and yesterday was one for me with Copper John. He was one of the last to come in for shoes at the Distribution in Atlanta, and I knelt in front of him to fit him for shoes. He was dressed like an artist, and around his neck hung a long charm with a black stone. While I fitted him (he chose the Brown Converse sneakers), I asked about the necklace, and 10 minutes later, he brought some of his treasures down for me to see.

He told me how his jewelry literally had healed him, and kept him alive, and that after years of being addicted to crack, he decided to "retire", and is going through a rehabilitation program in Atlanta. His voice, his face, his body language, EVERYTHING showed me someone who had been lifted out of a dark pit, and he KNEW it, and was grateful for it. He also is keenly aware that God has gifted him with a talent to create beautiful things that can be worn, and what a story to share to someone if you have a piece of his craft. "Copper John made this, let me tell you about him"

I cried, of course, and hugged him after I picked a bronze charm with an amethest stone. And I hugged him again, and held the moment close because moments like this don't come around every day. Again, they are DIVINE. I was mindful of my moment with him, and chose to sit in it, and be blessed by this sweet man who had overcome so much.

This morning as I left Atlanta, I had to pick something up that I left at the mission, and as I turned at the light, Copper John crossed the street, with his rolling backpack, headed to work in little Five Points. I rolled down the window, and called to him and he smiled that sweet smile. I pulled over and got out, and spent 10 more minutes with this precious human being. I told him "John, you were my reason for being in Atlanta". We hugged, and smiled, and talked some more. I left in my car with tears just rolling down my face, so thankful that he walked in and got some shoes, and left me with SO MUCH MORE.

I can't truly verbalize what those moments are like, I just hope and pray the few of you that read this are able to have those moments in your lifetime.

And if you go to Atlanta, and stumble upon little Five Points, find Copper John. Take home a bracelet, necklace or ring. Listen to him and see the light in his eyes, and you will leave with something precious. I promise...

Disaster Relief for Fleetwood Baptist Church, Cottondale, AL-Your help is Needed!

2011-06-05T03:39:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!
I will be traveling down to Fleetwood Baptist Church in the Tuscaloosa suburb of Cottondale, AL, Saturday June 18th. I worked with them the Saturday after the tornado and I am returning to help some more with tornado relief clean-up, plus I will be staying over and leading their worship service Sunday, June 19th. This relatively small church is very dear to me, I watched this congregation run meals and much needed supplies in the wake of a horrible disaster with so much passion for their community, love and energy. They are an official distribution center in the community (one extremely hard hit by the tornado) in spite of losing a congregation member in the storm, and having physical damage to the church.

I want to bless them when I return. They have given me a list of items needed for their community relief and my plan is to take a JAM PACKED Soles4Souls SUV down to Tuscaloosa. But, my dream is to have to rent a UHaul to drive down everything that your generous souls will donate.

If you donate items to Hope4Souls, a new division of Soles4Souls that provides miscellaneous items to our partners in need (toys/books/children's strollers to name a few), I can make sure that you are provided with a tax receipt for your donation. Fleetwood Baptist is an official distribution partner with Soles4Souls.

I will need to have the items by Wednesday, June 15th so that I can determine my vehicle situation. You can get them to me in a variety of ways:

Hopepark Peeps:
You can deliver them to Andrea Harris-Kenney and she will get them to me (just include your Name, Address, Email and items donated so that I can get a tax receipt to you)

Local to Nashville, you can drop the items off at:
Soles4Souls Headquarters: 319 Martingale Dr. Old Hickory, TN 37138

Out of Townies, you can also ship these items to:

ATTN: Tiffany Johnson
Soles4Souls
319 Martingale Dr
Old Hickory, TN 37138

Thank you in advance, for whatever you can contribute! I will be sure to send a follow-up email of how the weekend goes! The items are below!

FLEETWOOD BAPTIST CHURCH RELIEF SUPPLIES

SCHOOL SUPPLIES

PAPER, folders, binders, etc.
Wide ruled notebook paper
Marbled Composition notebooks
Spiral notebooks wide ruled
3”x5” index cards, ruled and plain
Plain folders (red, blue, greed, yellow, orange, purple)
Dividers with tabs
Multi color construction paper
Copy paper
2 inch three-ring binder
Mead primary journals

Pencils, crayons, markers, etc.
#2 pencils
24 ct crayons
24 count Crayola crayons
Washable Crayola markers
Colored pencils
Black sharpie marker
Highlighter
4 ct Expo Dry erase markers
Scissors, glue, etc.
Packs of glue sticks
Fiskar scissors
Small Elmer’s glue bottle
Cleaning supplies, paper goods, bags etc.
Kleenex
Liquid hand soap
Baby wipes
Quart sized Ziploc easy zipper bags
Gallon sized Ziploc easy zipper bags
Wet Wipes
Germ-X hand sanitizer large size
Sandwich bags
3 pack paper towels
Brown lunch bags
White lunch bags
75-ct Clorox wipes
Misc.
Plastic pencil box
Pink erasers
Clipboards
Plastic shoe box
4 ct crayola washable finger paints
4 count classic color play doh
Sugar free singles drink mix

KITCHEN AND BATH SUPPLIES
Kitchen kits:
dishes
pots and pans
silverware
glasses
kitchen towels/dishcloths
kitchen utensils

Bath kits:
towels
washcloths
shower curtains
shower curtain hooks

*ONE SPECIAL REQUEST-They are in need of about 250 clear backpacks, and I am working on it....but this is greatly needed for back to school and they HAVE to be clear!

A Beautiful Beginning

2011-06-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

I love it when my day starts like this. I just got a phone call from a lady in the Southeast that reached out to us a few weeks ago in need of a pair of shoes. We try to fulfill individual requests when we can, although it is not always possible. This precious woman is in Cardiac Rehab, and was in dire need of a pair of athletic shoes to continue her therapy by walking on the treadmill.

I sent the shoes to the Cardiac Rehab Dept. in care of her nurse, and they came back…so we resent them and the hospital even called, unsure of where to deliver them. Each setback I was able to intercept… (Providence is indeed a lovely thing) and today, she called me…

The lightness of her voice, her excitement as she told me of how well they fit, and how she was able to begin walking on the treadmill was absolutely “golden”. She just exuded joy…and was so grateful, so thankful, that she had new shoes to continue her therapy in. She also promised me a photo of her on the treadmill.

I ended the call with two assignments for her: to continue to strengthen her heart to get better, and to PAY IT FORWARD (Little did she know she JUST DID by calling me). And she laughed excitedly and promised she would.

All of this was from a simple pair of shoes. Or, better yet, from the fact that this person felt loved and cared about, and the tangible gift of a pair of shoes communicated to her that she IS loved and valued…and from that, JOY AND HOPE was heard in her voice. And felt in my heart.

Yes, what a great way to start Thursday, June 2, 2011.

Dot Connectors

2011-05-22T23:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I end up on the phone with people that I may never directly work with, in a conversation that could last 20 or 30 minutes, merely connecting them with other networks or individuals that could be a better fit, or solution to their initial reason for reaching out. Often, our conversations and meetings lead to a future relationship that proves to be valuable to both of us. But I am learning that no connection, meeting, introductory email or phone call is EVER a waste of time....it is a DOT that we will connect eventually to something else.

A few years ago I had the privilege of meeting an amazing woman who started an apparel company to benefit non-profits all across the US. I saw her shirts at a local festival, and went back excited about the prospect of the possibility of having shirts made for Soles4Souls. This actually happened, and in the process, Ruth and I built a relationship from the start...mass production of t-shirts or not, we developed that connection.

She is now building her brand and moving to Nashville, and it is so exciting for her! Our friendship is growing, and each time she is in town, we have dinner. When she was in town over a month ago, she was telling me of an upcoming visit to Jerusalem to see her daughter and family, and I mentioned that Soles4Souls had recently partnered with an orphanage there to distribute shoes. She suggested that I "connect" her and the Orphanage Director, and I sent an introductory email. As providence would have it, the shoes arrived on Easter Sunday..about a week before she arrived, and Ruth ended up staying just minutes from the orphanage.

She was able to go and meet the sweet boys, see their shoes, and capture their thankfulness, energy and excitement! She sent pictures of her visit, and was so touched by the experience. In a later meeting with the Orphanage Director, Ruth discovered through connecting the dots of relatives and friends, that HER OWN UNCLE was responsible for installing the air conditioner units in the orphanage she visited! They had a plaque in his honor, and Ruth was able to take photos of this, and share this experience with her Mom (that was HER BROTHER). Ruth got teary-eyed telling me, as I did too!

WHAT.. A.. SMALL.. WORLD..

The point of my story is simply a POINT....A DOT. We are dots, so WE NEED TO CONNECT, and WE WILL CONNECT IF WE LET OURSELVES! Every relationship, business contact, email....answer it, foster it, grow it, AT LEAST TO A POINT...you never know what may happen...it may not directly happen for you...but it was such an enormous blessing to be the line between those DOTS, all the way in Jerusalem, at an orphanage for neglected boys. An adult businesswoman from Chicago was able to see what her family accomplished in her homeland...all because of a DOT.

Pick up your pen and connect the dots, what are you waiting for?

The Miracle of Growing....

2011-05-15T21:24:00.000-07:00

My Momma has a green thumb...or more like 10 green fingers, hands and arms. The woman can grow some beautiful flowers and plants, she just has a gift for making beauty grow out of little roots, castaway plants or tiny buds from Lowe's. It is really amazing to me.

And I have noticed that once in a while there is a plant that nothing seems to work on, and all her usual tricks of the trade just doesn't help the plant. It just doesn't grow the way she hoped it would.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is 1 Corinthians 3:7 "So neither is he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth". In the Message translation, it say that God is at the "center of the process" of making things grow.

As humans, we can put forth all of the effort we want, use our God given skills and gifts, and have intellect, knowledge and expertise, but if God's hand or favor is not in the growth of it...maybe that is one reason why it is not growing.
I know that statement could open up discussion and differences of opinion.....sometimes I really don't understand why God does what He does, or better yet, why we do what we do.

But this verse is also a comfort to me too. That the sole responsibility of something growing to its fullest potential is not entirely on my shoulders. I plant, and I water...but then God will come down to my situation and at the center of my process, grow it as He wants it to be grown. Sometimes it dies, or maybe it grows strong roots....it could flower for one season or every Spring, regardless, He will grow it in His own way for His Glory.

And there is always a story too, when my Momma and I walk around her garden. She has a story about each plant, and its process of growth, or why it didn't grow and what worked and what didn't. And she uses each experience to make her a better gardener. And every plant she has, she pours everything into it she knows to do...because thats what you do when you plant a seed.

Those Watching Over Us...

2011-05-12T05:17:00.000-07:00

"To feel the love of people whom we love is a fire that feeds our life. But to feel the affection that comes from those whom we do not know, from those unknown to us, who are watching over our sleep and solitude, over our dangers and our weaknesses-that is something still greater and more beautiful because it widens the boundaries of our being, and unites all living things" Pablo Neruda

I love this quote, I found it MONTHS ago, and took a picture of it from the magazine I found it in, because I didn't want to mistype it at all. Directly being loved by someone we recognize (family, friends, etc) is a powerful force....but giving and receiving love to and from those unknown to us is powerful. It is as though we cannot accept it, we don't know what to do with it. And as we give it, it feels very different from directly giving love to those we know personally. I see it a lot with my role at Soles4Souls, hearing the stories of feedback from our partners as they describe people's response to receiving a new pair of shoes. People are taken aback that someone wants to provide them with something they need, and YET...there is no connection between them other than being two humans.

As a believer, I love this because it directly parallels how it feels when God loves us....I am overwhelmed, often wait for it to be taken away (because it is just too good to be true), and then I am just in awe that Someone so big would love me. And I feel mysteriously closer to Him through that.

I read this quote too, and I think of all of the "caregivers" of our world-the soldiers watching over us, policemen, firemen, teachers and yes, I realize that in this great, big world we are interconnected....through love. And that makes me just say wow. Thats the best word I can find for it right now.

What I Learned in Tuscaloosa

2011-05-10T17:28:00.000-07:00

The tornadoes came and left their marks behind....and in a matter of hours we were hard at work at Soles4Souls trying to get items of need to the victims of the horrible storms that pummeled the South. I started to google shelters in the Tuscaloosa area and learned that the University of Alabama was an emergency shelter. The very first person I got on the phone was a sweet voice that belonged to Judy and she was glad to see shoes coming her way for the students and individuals that lost everything. In one day, we had items on the way to Cullman and Tuscaloosa via Soles4Souls staffers and our partners at Cross Point Church.
And on Friday, April 29th, I headed down to Tuscaloosa myself. I had connected with Judy again, and wanted to survey the needs firsthand. Saturday morning I met her on a peaceful road right outside of town and followed her into utter devastation. Her husband is the pastor of a small church of about 200-300 people in the Cottondale area. We pulled up to a church that had severe roof damage, no electricity and power lines down all around it. But inside, there was an army of men, women and children mobilizing supplies, making meals and supporting each other.
Judy and I loaded up the Soles4Souls-mobile with food, toilet paper and cold water and began to drive around neighborhoods and deliver items...I was not prepared for what I witnessed. I have seen damage by floods and hurricanes, I have seen Haiti, with its chaos and overturned buildings still in shambles. This was unlike anything I have ever seen. Entire neighborhoods wiped clean...people walking around just picking up whatever scraps of their life they could identify. Strangers cutting through limbs and trees to clear streets so that people could get out. Foundations with homes that are no longer there....just a concrete slab. Trees popped in two like toothpicks....it was surreal, heartbreaking and breathtaking...

But it was also one of the moments in life that ground me, and how thankful I am for the moments....When I realize all that matters is what we give in this life, not what we take. And again I was reminded of how grateful I am for my job with this amazing organization full of people that are passionate about changing lives. Thankful for people like Judy, that through providence answered my call and invited me to join her and the congregation of Fleetwood Baptist as they served hurting individuals all day long. MINDFUL of the fact that every meeting, every email, every phone call is a chance to truly MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

7 X 70

2011-04-09T19:06:00.000-07:00

I love Chris August so much, he is an amazing singer/songwriter and I have downloaded several of his songs and appreciate his honest lyrics and completely unique voice....and you can hear his heart in every note.

And today, I heard his song "7X70" for the first time, and it completely unglued me...just wrung out my insides. I just love Jesus and I am so forever grateful to Him for loving me JUST AS I AM, and being with me unconditionally...and I am just falling more and more in love with my God. And this morning I was reminded of how wonderful God is to break through strongholds in our lives, to give us strength to forgive, sometimes not so much for the other person, but in order for us to receive true freedom through the power of having wrongs made right by someone bigger than us.

And then I heard this beautiful song..... I wish everyone could hear this song. And know the freedom in forgiveness, and the beauty in asking for it, and coming in truth and humility to the end of ourselves....and the feeling of being redeemed (ESPECIALLY when we don't deserve it...aah, we really never do...) And knowing we are loved by our Creator...who loves us lavishly...

I believe it is such a powerful message that I have to post the lyrics.

7X70

I've been living in this house here
Since the day that I was born
These walls have seen me happy
But most of all they've seen me torn
They've heard the screaming matches
That made a family fall apart
They've had a front row seat
To the breaking of my heart

7 times 70 times
I'll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
7 times 70 times
There's healing in the air tonight
I'm reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around

I remember running down the hallway
Playing hide and seek
I didn't know that I was searching
For someone to notice me
I felt alone and undiscovered
And old enough to understand
Just when I'm supposed to be learning to love You
Let me doubt again

7 times 70 times
I'll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
7 times 70 times
There's healing in the air tonight
I'm reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around

I lost count of the ways You let me down
But no matter how many times You weren't around
I'm all right now

God picked up my heart and helped me through
And shined a light on the one thing left to do
And that's forgive You
I forgive You

7 times 70 times
If that's the cost I'll pay the price
7 times 70 times
I'll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
7 times 70 times
There's healing in this house tonight
I'm reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around
Yeah, I'm gonna wrap it all around

I've been living in this house here
Since the day that I was born

Soles4Souls-Prom-A-Thon @ Studio 615

2011-03-28T12:23:00.000-07:00

What girl doesn't love the Prom and getting dressed up? Soles4Souls had the opportunity to be involved in XClusive Moments Dress Me Prom-A-Thon on March 27th, 2011 at Studio 615. Over 90 Metro Nashville students were chosen to receive a complete Prom Makeover, including a dress, shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup and professional pictures by a photgrapher. It was quite a day, these young women who normally could not afford a nice prom dress and shoes got to experience the red carpet treatment!
Soles4Souls provides shoes for men, women and children all over the world, and some people might look at this and think that this is not an immediate "need", but if you had been there yesterday, you would understand how very important our role was in this event.
We always say that with shoes, we give HOPE. And I saw that yesterday, I saw HOPE in the eyes of young girls and their Mom's, as we fit them with sparkly prom shoes and ooh'ed and aah'ed over their beaded dresses.

We gave them HOPE...
...that they are special
...they they're worth it
...that they are beautiful and of value to many

I helped one young lady with special needs practice walking around in her high heels, and as we neared the mirror, I made her look up, and see her reflection, her beautiful smile...and I SAW hope.

I was there 7 hours, running around like a chicken with my head cut off....When I left last night, my feet were tired, my body was tired...
...but my heart was full...of HOPE.

And I remembered my first prom. We couldn't afford a fancy dress, so my Great Aunt bought my Mom material to make me a dress. And I was afraid I wouldn't fit in because my dress wouldn't look like the other girl's dresses. We lived in government housing, and my neighbors always sat on the porch, which could be quite embarassing at times when they asked my friends for a dollar...

But my Mom worked so hard on my dress, and the big day came...and my dress was beautiful, all of my neighbors told me how pretty I looked when I came out the front door with my date...and at the prom....although my dress was home-made, it was so beautiful, and different...and I felt special, and I had...

Yep, I had HOPE. And I still do.

Give HOPE to someone today....in whatever way you can...

Worship Night at Hopepark

2011-03-15T14:58:00.000-07:00

There are just moments that you try to write about and no matter what you say, it never seems to capture it and do it justice. Last month I had the opportunity to be a part of a Night of Worship at my church, Hopepark. It is different from a regular service, it is just music, and some speaking and Scripture reading, but it is definitely a night for people to come out and come together as a community of believers and sing and worship.

And that is what we did...and it was beautiful, and the only word I can find to accurately describe the tone of it is VERTICAL. It was a unique group onstage, and all of us have our niche, and we all came together and put our egos and agendas and ourselves aside, and just worshipped, and used our gifts as a vessel for God to move through. Even before it began, you could really sense the presence of God there...which is correct, because the Bible says, "where 2 or more are gathered in His name, He is there". But sometimes He is there...and then sometimes HE is THERE...whoa, and you know it, and you feel it, and it is just big and huge and vast...and you just walk away feeling so blessed.

But its crazy to me...I have been a part of many services, many dynamic nights....but this night, on this night, I have never sensed the presence of God as powerfully as I did. It was so thick that at times I felt like I could have reached my hands out and spread it apart so I could see into it.

It was just breathtaking...and a moment I really didn't want to leave. And honestly for the few days I think many of us there we're still basking in it...

I want to share the lyrics of a song that immediately came to my mind as I left that night...

"In The Room"
The church is empty but I just can't go home
So I linger for a moment in the dark all alone
And I'm so overwhelmed at how your spirit moved
I'm just glad
I was in the room

So many stories and no one knows but you
The silent prayers answered tonight in these pews
And I don't understand how you do what you do
I'm just glad
I was in the room

Great God in heaven
How wonderful you are
Oh you're still changing lives
And it humbles my heart
That you would allow someone like me
To play a small part

So tonight as I stand here I'm reminded once more
That when any good happens it's not about me Lord
It's enough that I stand in the shadow of you
I'm just glad
I was in the room

Pictures worth a thousand words...

2011-02-23T19:03:00.000-08:00

You look at pictures and see much more than what our eyes gaze at. We see stories, moments in our lives, we feel things....get tickled because we can remember exactly how we felt, what it tasted, smelled, looked like...all from a little photograph. It conjures up a lot. Here are a few of my favorites...

To Love Yourself...

2011-02-14T07:54:00.000-08:00

I used to think it was very self-absorbed to hear people say that you should love yourself. I believe in Christ and I guess I've always felt like if I loved myself, then I wasn't adhering to Jesus's teachings, because he tells us to deny ourselves and take up His Cross and follow Him, and to love Him first, and then our neighbor.

But, I have come to realize to truly love yourself is what God would want anyway. He loves us, He made us, and we are His Creation, and we should love what He has created and ordained. So, to love ourselves is to love God, in many ways.

There are moments that we will feel truly loved by many. And there are moments where loving ourselves will bring great comfort, because we will feel as though no one else truly loves us. In those times, we have to be love for our own heart.

And I am realizing that the better we love ourselves, the better we can love others.

So, what am I really saying, "It is OK for you to love YOU"

But I want to do something that really matters...

2011-02-02T14:23:00.000-08:00

I hear this all the time, it screams inside of me quite frequently also, and for GOODNESS SAKE, I work in the non-profit sector, in a job I adore, that is more than employment for me, it is quite a God-Spot, a calling. But I have people all the time, of all ages, come up and say "Do you have any positions open? I really want to do something that matters"

And I have some thoughts on this....thoughts that have been cultivated in the mundane, the waiting seasons, the times of complete despair in wondering what was next for me.

My thoughts (if you care): EVERYTHING you do matters.

I understand how being in a job that does not directly connect you with humanitarian or ministry-minded tasks can make you feel like you are not "making a difference". But what about your co-workers, children, family members, neighbors and friends, and frenemies....your circle of influence. This is your calling, your time is here and now, not a future moment of greatness waiting to be discovered, but the minutes that make the hours, of the days, of the weeks, of the years that make YOUR LIFE.

Wayne Elsey, the CEO and founder of Soles4Souls, was a shoe executive, and decided to help people overseas that were affected because of the tsunami. He didn't wait until he started a non-profit to help others. Gwen Herod, my Sunday School teacher, who was a victims advocate for County Government, did her job by day and spent her weekends pouring her life and laughter into young twenty-somethings at Westside Baptist Church. Alexander Diaz, a Puerto-Rican American citizen, worked for a UPS Store; collected 160,000 pairs of shoes to give to charity, while he mailed packages and made copies and graphics in his Massachusetts store. Amy Lowry, a dear friend and stay at home Mom, is raising two beautiful girls who will change the world, and she leads worship at her church and pours her life into women from her church family. Jennifer, my hair stylist, gives me a head massage and washes my hair and speaks softly and gently to me, and her love is felt the whole time she makes me hair pretty. My friend Lisa Marie, a hospice nurse, makes people in their last days comfortable and gives families support while they leave this world, she is a beautiful singer and often sings to them. Lorenzo, the janitorial staff person at my church, makes you feel like a million bucks when you see him on Sunday, he is always dressed to the nines, and he picks up empty coffee cups, and church bulletins on the floor in between services...with great joy.

I could keep going. But I won't. I understand how life can look very different at times from how you imagined it. I understand how you can feel that your presence here is quite insignificant, especially when compared to others. I. GET. IT. (trust me)

But I also know the beauty of our purpose here, and that is to love God, and love others first, and pour our life into the world around us. Leave it better. Leave your mark, and be open to whatever that may be, even if it looks different from your "vision"of it. Stay humble, and remember that the small stuff really is the big stuff.

Shoes Help Bring Some Peace to Afghanistan...

2011-01-26T18:48:00.000-08:00

I received an email from a military mom in late October 2010 because her son, Staff Sargeant Beaudrie of the 2/101 Airborne, told her of the conditions in the villages near his post. As a gesture of goodwill and to possibly promote peaceful relations between the soldiers and the Afghan people, her son wanted to get some shoes sent to him to distribute to the children.

As I read her email account of her son’s story of the distribution in the little village, I am absolutely humbled by the fact that not only were the shoes needed desperately for the children’s safety, health and well-being, but they were indeed an instrument of peace between the soldiers and the villagers.

Staff Sergeant Beaudrie asked the children (with the help of an interpreter) to line up in an “L” shape so everyone could see, and let 3 children at a time come up and pick out new shoes. As word got out, more children showed up to receive a new pair of shoes and meet the new “Hero” of the village, the American soldier bringing the gift of shoes. These shoes were brought to the village children, the forgotten ones in all of the conflict during the war in Afghanistan, and although some of the parents and children were skeptical of this offering, afterwards they were clearly delighted with their new shoes.

Although some of the commanding officers were not in favor of the idea of distributing shoes, as they watched through their telescopes from afar, they were surprised at how peaceful and orderly it was, gaining new respect for the Staff Sergeant that coordinated this effort. Because of the gift of shoes, the villagers now have more trust in the soldiers as well. Staff Sergeant Beaudrie is now known as the “Humanitarian” by his comrades.

All Because of Shoes...maybe a pair of shoes can change a life, AND change the world too.

The Hope of Haiti

2011-01-13T07:38:00.000-08:00

I can understand how hard it is for us to truly comprehend what people face in the midst of their tragedy. If we cannot see it for ourselves, feel it, touch it, and experience it, it is difficult for us to completely wrap our minds around it. We can watch the news, read blogs and shed tears, maybe even open our wallets, but until we HUMANIZE it, and give it a face, a name...we simply cannot even begin to understand.

This is Woodley. He has a dynamic personality, is full of energy and loves to jump rope. For such a young boy, he has a deep, scratchy voice that cracks me up (even though I cannot understand everything he says) He loves to take charge of the situation and I can tell from watching him, he is a leader and enjoys making people laugh. He has the sweetest smile. He has a new black and white kitten that he loves to play with. He calls me "Stiffany"

He lost his Mom and Dad in the earthquake. He and his beautiful teenage sister, Darlene, live with their Aunt and Uncle now. They are blessed, because they have family that took them in and care for them, unlike so many.

For me, when I think of Haiti now....I can't help but think of Woodley. Woodley IS Haiti to me.

Haiti Distribution 4-5

2011-01-09T19:22:00.000-08:00

And I'm home now....I should be asleep, I'm tired, my belly is full and I'm all clean and scrubbed down, but I can't seem to get there yet.

The last full day of the trip our group took about three hours and went to the coast of Haiti...only an hour away from Port Au Prince, but it felt like another world. It was beautiful, green, clean and quaint....and it is a reminder of the hope of the country, there is still so much beauty there in the midst of what seems to be overwhelming poverty and destruction. I took a single kayak out on the ocean for about an hour for $10....(now, that's the upswing there...cheap recreation) and just marveled literally at the water, the coral reefs I could see underneath me, the mountains. Breathtaking.
Our bus driver decided to take off everything but his underwear and go swimming and I found him later underneath an umbrella konked out, his dark, shiny skin covered in sand. It makes you wonder how often a beach trip is a reality for these guys...

We planned to go visit Maison Enfant de Dieu that afternoon, an orphanage in Port Au Prince that currently has about 80 children there, from infants to 9 years old. We walked in and I just knew that it would be a pivotal point in our trip. After a very quick tour of the living quarters, we all split up. I went to the toddler's room first, because I had seen a disabled girl in a play pen that I wanted to visit. She was 9 years old and had cerebral palsy. I just stroked her face and hair, we couldn't hold her. She was the size of a 5 year old. And then the band of demanding 2 year old mademoiselles found me. They were an absolute hoot, all clamoring for attention..and affection. Within minutes, they had confiscated my Blackberry and Passport, almost like the TSA. They move fast....but I got them back and settled down on the floor to play with them until one of our group members, Michelle, came in with an IPhone and upstaged me with Wet Wipes (they played with these like Barbies...they wanted you to smell them....just imagine... WET WIPES entertained them).

And I found Wilsson....he was laying on his back on the floor, he was 3 and has cerebral palsy, AND the biggest smile I have ever seen. I was able to hold him and talk to him and I put him back on his blanket and rubbed his tummy and just talked to him....he was dropped off at the orphanage when he was a baby, they do not know his whereabouts and the mayor of Haiti named him after himself. This child was a delight....I cried when I left the room because he cried and it broke my heart.

I walked down to the infant room where it was completely full of babies. Every crib was occupied. Beautiful Haitian babies that just took your heart away. Their little eyes were just glassed over....you touched them and most of them were almost in a state of shock. One little girl kept knocking the crib with the back of head, almost in a rhythmic, disturbing manner. It reminded me of articles I have read about at-risk babies and their tendencies to comfort themselves. I held one little boy for 10 minutes and he just cradled his sweet head under my chin. I really have no other words for this.....

As we got ready to leave I went out to where the older children were and our adults that were playing with them. I sat down and three little girls quickly came and started doing my hair....I gave them ponytail holders and they were going to town until one of them found my birthmark on top of my head and it freaked her out. We quickly explained to her that I was born with it and it was OK, but she switched to the other side. It was cute and amazing how quick and perceptive they are.

We left the orphanage to go back for dinner and it was pretty quiet. The experience of the orphanage for me was just emptying. I wanted to stay longer, to do something for those beautiful babies, to touch them all, and I know I couldn't....but I just cannot fathom that these babies do not have a better home. I know for them it is a lot better than most of the homes in Port Au Prince, but I can see that little girl just knocking the crib with her head, and my heart aches. One of the workers said that earlier this year they used to have visitors all of the time, but now there are a lot fewer of them. WHY? Why do we become calloused?????? THEY STILL NEED LOVE AND AFFECTION.

I am glad I'm home and that I had a hot shower, but honestly, I am a better person in Haiti. I don't look in the mirror, I don't really care what I have on, I eat whatever is before me, I get excited when kids want to jump rope, I look forward to what I can do that day to help someone. I'm better there...I want to be better here.

Haiti Day 3

2011-01-07T19:11:00.000-08:00

Just a few thoughts before I go to bed here after another busy day. Our team traveled today to Cite Soleil, an intensely populated, impoverished area of Port Au Prince to distribute shoes to the community there. We are able to fit nearly 100 children and adults from the school and community with new shoes. The smallest child we fitted with shoes today was probably one week old. I was amazed as I fit some toddlers with shoes over the roughness of their little feet; they walk around barefoot all day, such a difference from the soft feet of little American toddlers. After the distributions, we took the group to view Haiti from the mountain overlook and take in some Haitian art and culture. We have an amazing team of individuals on this trip: 2 professional organizers, a medical transcriptionist, a leadership developer, 2 footwear corporate marketing executives, a recording artist, a law student, a devoted dad and husband and a perpetual volunteer...wow, what a crew. And its been awesome to see them in action, laying aside self and routine for a few days, and being super flexible. Its hard to explain until you do something like this, but YOU leave with much more than you came to give. We are giving out shoes and hope, yes, but the smiles, the love and gratitude we receive is truly priceless. Tonight, we jumped rope with some local children tonight, one being a young boy of about 8 who was orphaned from the earthquake, and it was truly a great experience for all. It was time spent with children without TV, phones, computers. Just laughter and smiles and community, even with a language barrier. It TIME that is most important, time you spend with anyone in need to let them know that they matter, and sometimes it involves giving something away and other times it involves giving yourself away.

Haiti Trip with Soles4Souls Day 1-2

2011-01-06T17:37:00.000-08:00

Day 2 of our Haiti Distribution Trip proved to be busy and definitely eye-opening! We arrived last night to our mission hostel in Terre Noire and after a great dinner and a time to get to know each other as a group, off to bed we went!
This morning we set up the shoes we brought for the distribution at the School located on our Mission Compound. This school has a student body of over 500 students, and we were able to distribute shoes to every class. As the children came in this morning for school, I could definitely sense everyone's excitement about the day ahead. We spent the next 5-6 hours washing their sweet little feet and fitting them in brand new pairs of shoes, making them laugh and telling them how wonderful their new shoes were. I heard "Merci" 10,000 times and I will never tire of hearing it! While we were fitting the older elementary school classes, I think we hit the jackpot with the soccer cleats we had. The size range was perfect for them, and the boys and girls(!)wanted them (soccer is a pretty big deal in Haiti)! It was awesome to see the little girls with their gingham school dresses on, bows in their hair and cleats on their feet!
We took our group down to the Presidential Palace afterwards to see the distribution left from the earthquake nearly one year ago. There is still SO much to be done, and so much heartbreak...but the spirit of this country and of the Haitian people is so strong and so full of joy, it is absolutely amazing!
And Soles4Souls will continue to be here and make a sustainable difference here...it was awesome to pull up yesterday and have the children and teachers recognize you and call out your name. And that's because we are in it for the long haul.

Reflections on 2010

2011-01-01T07:16:00.001-08:00

I just did something really great, and I would encourage you to do the same as well. Review 2010 for yourself, take about an hour or so and reflect on the year that just passed. I just did it and I am so very glad I did. And THEN....leave it behind. Check out Michael Hyatt's blog post on this. I just cut and pasted the questions in a Word Document and spent about an hour or so meditating and writing.

Click on this little thingee here: Seven Questions to Ask About Last Year

Happy New Year Ya'll!

A Little Closet Cleaning Never Hurts Anyone...

2010-12-23T07:28:00.000-08:00

This was something I tweeted on December 17th:
"Sometimes we have to clean out the closet of our heart to allow more good things inside"

I have been chewing on this little statement for a while and felt that it needed more than 140 characters. I do love Twitter, I must confess, but I wanted to share more when it came to this. Cleaning out our closet is not just about confession, although that seems to be the first thing we think of.

I don't have a huge closet at home, thank God. That regulates my shopping. And I find myself cleaning it out a couple times each year. Sometimes, I find things that I just don't wear anymore, because of various reasons (they don't fit, they are dated, they look too much like something I already had) and I make a choice to part with them. I make that choice to eliminate clutter, and to make room for something better.

I believe that our hearts need much the same. We hold on to things sometimes that we have absolutely NO reason to. And IF we just let go, I think we would all be made better. We would have much more room to accept, enjoy, make peace and live life joyfully with the items we CHOOSE to hold on to. We would give our "closet" (our heart) room to hold more, and store things that mean the most to us, instead of housing items that take up unnecessary room and are not needed or utilized.

And you know what I have learned from cleaning out my closet? I have learned to be wise with what I choose to put in there from now on. I choose more carefully now what I let in, and I guard and care for what is in there.

I did some closet cleaning this year in my heart. It freed me up to love with more conviction and intent, it gave me more peace than I had before, and it opened my eyes to the things I really needed. Sure, it was hard to part with a few things, but in the end, I didn't really need them anyway.

Will you clean out your closet? Will you allow yourself to part with things that clutter your life and make room for the things you need the most?

35 Candles...

2010-12-15T20:08:00.000-08:00

In honor of my (ahem) 35th Birthday, I decided to make a list of items that are "candles" in my life, points of light that burn bright in my heart and life, whether it be a friendship, good cup of coffee, or a defining moment forever living in my memory. So, here goes, and of course, they are not in order of importance. WARNING: some will be very poignant and some of them may be ultra shallow...but still, they have made me happy or given me joy in some way.

1. Leading Worship at Hopepark and offering that gift up.

2. Making my Momma pee in her pants.

3. Going to the register only to find that the clearance is an additional 25% off.

4. Kneeling in front of someone and fitting them with a new pair of shoes for Soles4Souls

5. Meeting my soulmate someday.

6. Being around the house when the Today Show comes on and being able to hear the theme song and watch the opening credits.

7. Making a baby smile.

8. Getting random texts or letters from people in my life, near and far. It's like a butterfly kiss.

9. Dreaming about my future and what my story is left to be.

10. A great cup of coffee from Starbucks.

11. Hearing my friend Tami laugh.

12. Hot Wings...VERY HOT WINGS.

13. Looking back and seeing how something difficult in my life has made me grow....

14. Days when my Bible Study is a DIRECT correlation to my present circumstance. When God does that, I am always floored.

15. People who humbly share their story with authentic passion.

16. Paxville, SC Sunsets

17. A letter from Leigh-Ann McCune that she wrote to me when she was a teenager.

18. When my furbabies snuggle with me when it's cold.

19. My true-blue friendships

20. A really good pair of jeans (True Religion)

21. Serving in Shoe Distributions side by side with Wayne

22. The Zodiacs

23. The smell in the air when fall is just around the corner.

24. The first time I hear a really great song.

25. How I feel after I have served another person...the absolute best.

26. My Mom's Chicken Tenders, Gravy and Cabbage

27. Nude Lip Gloss

28. High Heels

29. Magazines

30. Finishing Well.

31. Singing "Jesus Never Fails" every night of the Truth Farewell Tour

32. Seeing someone I love happy

33. Chicken McNuggets

34. Having Peace.

35. Anticipating what is yet to be...

Under Construction

2010-12-07T10:28:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we have those "lamp" moments. It is as if someone pulled the switch and we can "see", you know? Today, I had yet another as my friend shared this amazing quote with me:

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised.

But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is he up to? The explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards.

You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but he is building up a palace. He intends to come and live in it himself."

C.S. Lewis, in Mere Christianity

What do I say in response to this? I have always loved the thought of a sweet little cottage, but if I can be a palace....well, alrighty then.

Just around the corner...

2010-11-14T14:12:00.000-08:00

YWCA Distribution-November 2010

On a beautiful fall day I traveled to the Davidson County YWCA Domestic Violence Shelter to distribute shoes on behalf of Soles4Souls. With about 20-30 pairs in my car, I arrived at the shelter to distribute shoes to the current shelter residents.

As we prepared the shoes for the women in the shelter to come receive them, I learned that there are over 20 women and roughly 15-20 children currently living in the shelter. These women and children come to the Y to flee domestic violence situations, some of them with just the clothes on their back and shoes on their feet. They come to an undisclosed location for safety, so that they can rebuild their lives without continuing to live in the physical, mental and verbal abuse many of them have suffered from.

As the ladies came out, I was greeted by friendly faces that enjoyed choosing a new pair of shoes that fit just right. Many of the shoes I brought were from Red Wing, and they were perfect shoes for some of the women that had started new jobs where sturdy, protective footwear were just what they needed. One woman was overcome by emotion as she received her new shoes, stating that her new pair now made 2 pairs she had to wear now. The gratitude and thankfulness in their voices made me well aware of the need they had for shoes, and just how much they appreciated it.

I fit two young boys, brothers 9 and 11, with new shoes as well. Seeing their eyes light up over new sneakers and being able to lace them up tight was a great experience! They were so thrilled to have a nice, new pair of shoes to go to school with.

I was reminded as I left the YWCA that day that although Soles4Souls distributes to over 125 countries worldwide, there are SO many needs here in the US as well. We never know what our neighbor, co-worker, or even close friend may be going through. Sometimes something so simple as the gift of shoes can help change their world for the better. Someone not TOO far from you is hurting, and is in trouble.

Every time I go on a distribution for Soles4Souls, I again realize the importance of our mission and it always puts everything into focus for me. You cannot out-give, out-love, out-serve.

Little Pieces

2010-10-30T07:41:00.000-07:00

I'm 34 years old, soon to be 35. I find it HIGHLY unlikely that I will have children and I'm completely OK with that. But some people in my life are not so ok with it, and have even asked me "But who will take care of you when you are older?" I know they meant well, but having a child does not guarantee that I have adequate care when I am a senior citizen and unable to care for myself.

Some people think its a little unusual that I don't pine over having a baby. I love babies so much, love other people's babies and caring for them. But that doesn't mean I need a baby.

I look at it this way...what if by not having children I can go out and love on so many children and individuals who do not have a mother or someone to love them? What if that is my legacy?

"If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it may be because pieces will feed a multitude when a loaf would satisfy only a little boy" Elisabeth Elliot

I love this quote, I have for over 10 years. When I read this quote above, I interpret it many ways: Yes, when we are broken before God, He basically divides and conquers with the pieces of our life. I also see this quote as an explanation, somewhat, over the BABY question in my own life.

I want to touch AS MANY HURTING PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD AS I CAN. And I think the solution for me to do that is to be freed up on some levels that others are not.

And God has been SO gracious to me to put people into my life that I have been able to "mother" and pour myself into, and this fills me and gives me so much joy.

I think everyone has their own unique path. Sometimes it is not 2.5 kids, a pool and a SUV.

People will see me holding a baby sometimes and say "That is a good look on you". And you know what? They are right. Loving another person and showing compassion and tenderness is a good look on anyone.

It looks the same as:

Kneeling at the feet of a homeless man with no teeth and fitting him with shoes
Putting on rainboots and gloves to clean out a flood ravaged home
Having a friend over late into the night because she just needs to talk
Watching a young woman grow into adulthood that you have had the honor of mentoring for 10 years

And I'm not finished...I want to DO SO MUCH MORE...and expend myself more. Love more, care more....nurture more.

Whoever you are, Wherever you are, children, no children, its OK!

Just remember, everyone has a different path....but I think we all hope for the same destination.

Trusting

2010-10-26T20:38:00.000-07:00

Who can you really trust? That is a question I am asking myself more and more these days. That really bothers me that I am at the place where I consciously wonder who it is that I can trust.

Who can I trust?

It has always been very easy for me to talk to others about things that were pressing on my soul. It was comforting to talk to another person about issues that were on my mind, or weighing me down.

It am learning lately though that a) people usually don’t care about what you are saying if it doesn’t affect them directly b) a lot of people will tell another person what you confided in them about and c) the direct result to talking about your problems to another is JUST a momentary release of getting it out. OH, and d) bearing your soul to another can make them stress out over your issues FOR you, or make them think you are looney tunes depending on what you say.

So, what is this girl to do?

Not talk…yes, and no.

First, I am making a concentrated effort to talk to God about things first. He knows me the best anyway, and He is always there to listen to the good, bad and ugly. He loves me no matter what I say.

Second, choose carefully whom I confide in, and ask for wisdom from very few. Everybody has got their opinion and perspective, but if you are like me, I am a pleaser and I listen, which is good, but it can cause my vision to be cloudy. So, I know that it is best for me to narrow down the number of people I talk to and glean insight from. That doesn’t mean I am isolated from my community of friends, but it means I am choosing to guard my heart more and more.

Finally, I am asking for my heart to stay soft towards people and situations. When hurt moves into your life, it can cause you to harden up, become jaded. And I am a little jaded, but I just pray that my heart will stay tender.

I pray that I will remember people are just people, imperfect and extremely incapable of letting you down, the same way I let others down too.

So, I guess scripturally what I am asking for would be called “being as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves”

God, make me wise, strong, tender and pliable. Make me approachable, readable, guarded and teachable. God, make ME

Glass Slipper Fit

2010-10-12T14:16:00.001-07:00

Haiti, July 2010:
On a summer distribution trip to Haiti, we travelled outside of Port Au Prince in a small community hit badly by the earthquake. The distribution was at a church, the building had been leveled by the devastation, and a tarped roof and wooden benches now served as the church center. 300 people quickly piled in the small area when they had heard by word of mouth that shoes were being given away. I was in the corner during the distribution fitting children with shoes, their little hands using the top of my head as a way to balance as they were fitted for a new pair of shoes. With the language barrier, it was sometimes hard to figure out if the shoes were too big or small, but a big smile from each child definitely gave us the feedback, that “YES” they loved their new shoes. As the inventory was getting lower, I was fitting a young girl (probably about 11 or 12) and could not find a pair to fit her. She pointed to my slip-on Converse sneakers, letting me know that she liked them, and I figured it was worth a try. The thought went through my mind, but what will I wear? Wow, how selfish, when the thought that probably plagued this young girl’s mind was more like, “I hope I don’t step on anything sharp today and hurt my foot". I slipped my shoe off and onto her foot, and found that it was a glass slipper fit. Perfect. I handed her both of my shoes with a fullness in my heart that cannot be explained and watched her walk away with a huge smile, with her new treasure in her arms.
I found a pair of boys tennis shoes to wear that were too big for me. It was a great lesson I learned that day. One, in giving of even the clothing/shoes on my back, and two, what a challenge it is to walk around and live life in shoes that do not fit properly. My shoes were too big, and they hindered me from being 100% because I couldn’t walk as fast, they irritated my feet and took my mind off of what I was trying to accomplish because it held me back.

Great lesson learned.

Maybe you cannot go to Haiti...but you can give to Soles4Souls and help us continue to change lives...one pair of Converse sneakers at a time...

Help People, Help People

2010-10-09T19:54:00.000-07:00

I love being a part of Soles4Souls. I am so extremely BLESSED and graced to have a job that I absolutely love. I recognize the tremendous opportunity I have at this season in my life.
One of the parts of my job that I love is simply getting to help people, HELP OTHER PEOPLE. You may have to read that again. But basically I encounter people many times that just want to help, and I have the honor of helping them find the best method to do that. I love it.
There is nothing better than hearing the excitement in people's voices as they talk to me, and we explore ways that they can get plugged in. Establishing a relationship with people, and having them keep in touch as they begin shoe drives, plan events and further our mission is exciting. I believe that each and every person on this earth longs to give to another person, and there is no greater joy in giving. But making a difference and giving can be overwhelming, you look at the world and think, what can I do to make things better? And that is really where the heart of Soles4Souls can be found: in changing the world, ONE pair at a time! That one pair to one person can set in motion dreams that cannot even seem possible.
We can all make a difference in our world. When you look at a painting, there is more to it than just the artist that painted it. Some great scientific talent mixed and formulated the paints, a talented framer made the canvas, some tangible object created by gifted hands fashioned the inspiration behind the picture....do you get it? Everyone's part is IMPORTANT.
Use whatever you have at your disposal to make the world better...HELP.

The End of the Summer...very hot summer...

2010-09-14T14:22:00.000-07:00

I suck at blogging consistently.

That is all I will say about that.

What a summer....hot, sticky, and BUSY. What a summer. Major highlight, I went to Haiti twice with Soles4Souls to distribute shoes. What a summer. I could write a book about Haiti. But I won't. All I will say is that it was a life-altering experience. That country has been through pure hell....and yet, the people of Haiti are some of the most joyful, gentle, loving folks I have ever met. It was amazing. And as crazy as it sounds, I could stay there for a long time. Love is growing there, in the midst of the rubble, hunger and poverty....love is blossoming there.

What a summer, I have reunited with my passion for reading. And among some of the gems I have read this summer, here are a few that have rocked my world....

The Blind Side
The Me I Want to Be
The Shack
Mrs. Whaley's Garden
The Traveler's Gift

What a summer, what a year. I am learning so much. Some of it is very pleasant and lovely, and some is not so much. Some of my education strips away at my pride, causes me to look inward, makes me rely on my Creator more and more, and reminds me constantly that there IS a big picture for all of this.

What a summer....how was yours?

Facebook...Twitter...Computers...Blackberries....Apples...

2010-08-11T08:17:00.000-07:00

I am simply amazed at how powerful social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter have become. Just recently, a event that I was planning used Facebook for the promotion, and we also bought an ad in a local magazine. The ad was not what drove in the traffic for the event, Facebook did. It is free, easily accessible and widely used by ALL.

Social networking is more than that, though. Oprah Winfrey released a statement that holds alot of truth "Did you see me? Did you hear hear me? Did what I say mean something to you? That is what everybody is looking for". It is true. Through outlets such as Twitter and Facebook, people can put themselves out there, they feel that they are heard.

Daily, I read something on these sites that inspire me and enrich my life. Yes, there is stuff that doesn't add anything to my life at all, and silly stuff that just makes me laugh for a minute. But I have learned more about people programs, and causes in the last year through these networks. I also realize that I have a voice too. And there are people who care about what I post, or what I say. My little voice matters too. It actually is very humbling and rewarding when someone responds to a post.

Get on the social networking train, people...It's not going anywhere anytime soon....

Socks4Haiti

2010-07-14T09:39:00.000-07:00

I will post more about Haiti later, I promise! But I wanted to send this out as well!

Hi Everyone! Soles4Souls will return to Haiti August 25-29 for a distribution trip. I want to send 500 pairs of NEW SOCKS for the children in the schools we distribute to! It is for children 4 years old through age 13, boys and girls. I need girl's white socks with lace (they love those) and boy's dress socks in white and khaki. Their socks were in horrible condition and it is something I want to help with. Nashville peeps, please get the socks to me and out of towners, please mail to:

ATTN: Tiffany Johnson
Soles4Souls
319 Martingale Dr.
Old Hickory, TN 37138

Please have them to me by August 20th! Feel free to pass this on

Meeting Jesus

2010-07-02T08:07:00.000-07:00

Wow! I have not blogged lately, life has been a little busy!

Next week, I head to Haiti for Soles4Souls, July 7-11, 2010, with 8 other individuals and I am very excited and aware that parts of my life will never be the same after the experience. I have been on several mission/relief trips and I leave each time more impacted than I have probably impacted others. It is the beauty of a trip like that. Your take away is often more than what you give.

And in light of that, I wanted to share an unbelievable experience I had this spring. I had the opportunity to be a part of some of the biggest evangelistic crusades January-May, 2010. I participated in 3 of them, and I often wondered why the opportunity had come into my life. It definitely drew me out of my comfort zone, but I know NOW without a doubt it was to meet Jesus...

In March 2010, I went to Phoenix for a three day conference to be a part of the worship team. Before I left, a dear friend prayed that God would send me something very special, and speak to me there.

I remember her words "that it would be something just for me, from God". So, of course, I am on the lookout in Phoenix for God to speak to me, through the messages, songs, etc. During one of the day sessions, we were singing at the end, and I looked out into the crowd of around 5000 people and saw a young boy on the shoulders of his father. His hands were covering his little face, and when he moved them, I saw that his face was very disfigured. He barely had slits for his eyes and his nose.

My heart just throbbed for him.
I knew his parents had come probably for him to be prayed over and hopefully healed, and no one was praying for him. I hoped to find them in the crowd afterwards, but I couldn't.

A group of us went to lunch and then I headed back to my hotel room for a short nap before the session that night. I left the restaurant early and as I walked out, there was the little boy with his family.

Wow, the chances of that first of all! I had to go and meet them.

I walked up and his Mom recognized me from the crusade. We began to talk, and she shared that they had driven many hours to come, and although they were hoping for someone to pray for their son's healing, it didn't happen. His Mom said "it just wasn't God's time". She was so peaceful about it and calm.

I asked if I could meet him and I got down on his eye level, and met him, face to face.

His name was Jesus (of course, pronounced Hay-Sus). He was nine years old and barely the size of a three year old, and as I said "hello" to this sweet little child with such disfigurement that I wanted to cry, the unthinkable happened. He reached out, and put both of his tiny hands on either side of my face, and leaned in to me, pressing his forehead against my forehead.

It was a holy moment.

I opened my arms to hold him, and he leaned in to me with such love in a hug that I was not prepared for. And he didn't let go. In fact, I picked him up, and he wrapped his little legs around my waist and began to hug me and pat my back, as if I was the one who needed hugging.

His Mom was a little shocked, "He doesn't really do this normally..." But it was fine, more than fine, with me. And for about five minutes, I spent time with Jesus.

He smiled, and we hugged some more, and I talked with his family, and just held him. And he held me. And when it was time for me to go, it was hard to get out of his little embrace.

And I left that restaurant and just walked back to my hotel in a daze. God HAD given me something so tangible in that moment. The love from that little boy was so powerful. Even in his weakness and condition, he was so powerful, God was so powerful.

It was so overwhelming too, that God sent His love to me through a little boy named Jesus...wow.

I write this because I know next week I will hold lots of little "Jesus" boys and girls, and embrace "Jesus" men and women.

People that are hurting, abandoned, forgotten.

They will surely give me more than I will give them.

But, in the end, we will give each other the most important gift: Love.

DOORS

2010-06-12T20:26:00.000-07:00

I am learning that even though Doors have the signs "push and/or Pull to open", I cannot force the doors of my life's journey open. When I do, it inevitably ends begins and ends badly. I have spent time trying to try them open before, and I won't do it now. I will stand at the door, see if it opens, knock on it, maybe give it a little shove, but no more prying it open.

There is a DOORMAN who will open it for me anyway, if it is the right door for me.

Short and sweet, but something worth saying.

Good night ya'll.

Friends Are Like Doughnuts

2010-06-07T14:49:00.000-07:00

What an amazing couple of days! And it left me in the very thankful spot, basking the glow of the things I have in my life that money cannot buy you. I turned to my Momma Saturday and said "I have wonderful friends, and such a variety of them". And it hit me...MY FRIENDS ARE LIKE A BOX OF DOUGHNUTS.

I won't name my friends, but I have a feeling that they will know exactly what doughnut they are in this perfect Krispy Kreme box of love in my life.

1. Chocolate Iced with Sprinkles-Just sweet and fun and colorful! Always bringing light into my life, and lightening the load (how can you get too serious with all the sprinkles, huh??)

2. Glazed Cruller-They are never what you expect, but when you bite in, there is goodness and sweetness and you find yourself never viewing the cruller the same again, it becomes better and better to you!

3. Cinnamon Apple Filled-Authentic, Genuine and full of good stuff. Never lets you down.

4. Chocolate Iced Kreme Filled-The best. You think it's good and you bite in and it gets better, even better. And it's solid to the core, and if anything gushes out, it's goodness.

5. Chocolate Iced Glazed-It's glazed, so it's already good, and to top it off, it's covered in chocolate and works anywhere, anytime.

6. Traditional Cake- Rich and Heavy. Will always pack a punch. When you eat it, you are full, it nourishes you.

7. Traditional Glazed-Classic. Timeless, always good, not too much, but definitely not too little. We all want to be like the Glazed Doughnut.

8. Doughnut Hole-This is my Momma. It is little, like her, and it packs a punch. But no matter what, it's always there....You will always have a doughnut hole...

9. Powdered Sugar- Always leaves something behind. Covers you. Just looks happy and sweet, and it is.

Look at your life.....I hope you have these kind of doughnuts in your box. I love that I have a little room left too, I can add more.

Push Through

2010-06-01T08:11:00.000-07:00

This week is a busy week for me. And a very special one. After being on this earth for thirty-plus years, and literally being able to see several of my dreams come to fruition, there is another one that will happen this Thursday night. Not only was I blessed with the support from Soles4Souls and their CEO Wayne Elsey to be able to complete my CD, Scuffed and Simple, but I will perform it live at The Listening Room Cafe, June 3rd at 6pm to celebrate it's release. It is free and open to everyone.

And my band for the night is a group of people who are some of the dearest to me, they are all volunteering their phenomenal talents as well, which just really overwhelms me to the point of tears. And my Momma will be here, and my dear friend Leann from South Carolina, as well as the folks who will come out to listen.

And I look at this time in my life, and literally think, it is MY time. And there are things about it that are right, and things about it that are wrong, or better yet, not the way I envisioned them to be. But nonetheless, that time is here and happening for me, and I need to enjoy it and relish it and celebrate it, thanking God for every moment.

I think that has always been the hardest for me-the pushing through. I would rather just close my eyes and let the storm pass while I am under the covers. But God never lets that happen to me, He strips the blanket off and puts the cloud right over my bed. But he usually sweetens the deal with an incredible rainbow at the end, or a flower that blooms because it was watered. And when I do push through, and embrace what I am dealing with, instead of wishing it away, I am always better, stronger and more complete because I DID push through. But it doesn't mean it is easy, it is NEVER easy. Anything worth HAVING in our lives is NEVER easy.

So, if you come Thursday night, know that you are helping one of my dreams come true. You will hear some stories, stories about the songs and about the journey, and I know 100% you will feel the love coming off the stage, and I believe you will see God too, because HE was and IS all over this. And that makes me the most fulfilled and satiated when I think of the whole experience.

And wherever you are, whatever you are going through, around, above or beneath-push through. Even when it is hard, and you are tired. Push through it.

"There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears" Philippians 1:6 The Message

Enough for me.

2010-05-20T12:15:00.000-07:00

I am honored to write for Soles4Souls monthly newsletter and feature stories about people contributing to our mission in their communities. This month I wrote about Hannah Holton, check it out:

Hannah is Not Just a Student, But a Teacher

Hannah Holton is five years old. She is a kindergartner in Frisco, Texas. She loves to read and play outside. She daily teaches her mom, dad and two brothers what it looks like to love others as you love yourself.

In December she saw her mom looking at photos from a friend's mission trip to Haiti. The mission team was working in an orphanage so there were lots of kids in the pictures. Hannah had lots of questions about life in Haiti. She said that one day she wanted to go there and play with the children that looked so happy, although many of them had no family of their own.

In January, she heard "Haiti" in a news story and asked what happened. Her mom found out many of the children in the pictures were devastated by the earthquake. Donations were already being sent to buy supplies for the orphanage. Hannah had the idea to sell grape Kool-Aid to her friends, from a wagon she pulled through her neighborhood. As people bought their drinks, Hannah told them about the earthquake, and the children in the orphanage. She collected $5.17 in about an hour.

On Palm Sunday, Hannah's church put out baskets and asked people to leave their shoes to send to Haiti and to others in need. The pastor announced that the church would begin a month long collection of shoes for Soles4Souls, and that church members should clean out their closets and donate any gently worn or new shoes they do not wear. All types of shoes were needed; because they would be sorted to go to Haiti, people looking for jobs, and other kinds of places. Hannah again heard "Haiti" and asked if the shoes would go to the kids she had seen in the pictures just months before. Her mom explained that yes, some of the shoes could get to those kids.

She went to the altar with her mom, and as people put their shoes in the basket, she asked if she had to leave hers. Her mom said, "Only if you want to." They were her favorite white shoes that she had just gotten to wear with her Easter dress. She stood there for a minute and then slowly took them off and put them in the basket. She seemed a little sad, so her mom gave her a hug and asked her what she was thinking. She said, "I really love those shoes because you bought them for me and they are pretty. Some of the kids in Haiti don't have moms to buy them shoes so I gave them mine. That makes God happy and I know he'll get me some more shoes."

On the way home, Hannah asked if everybody's church was collecting shoes. Her parents said "probably not." She decided to make poster to pass around her neighborhood and friends in an effort to collect more shoes. Her mom set her up on the computer and after a little editing, she printed the flyers and went to deliver them. Hannah went barefoot to ask people to look for shoes. Over the next few weeks, people would ring her doorbell and leave bags of shoes. Hannah collected about 25 pairs of shoes.

Hannah's church has a Mission Possible Kids group who does monthly outreach projects with elementary school kids. For April, they sorted the hundreds of shoes that were collected and wrote notes on those that could be going to kids. Hannah found her white shoes in the pile, along with a pair of silver sparkly little girl's tennis shoes. As she worked to tag them somebody said, "I'll bet some little girl is going to be very happy when she gets these shoes" and Hannah said, "I'm happy that we have so much that we get to share. God likes it when we share."

Tiffany Johnson
Spokesperson

And I sent her a copy of my CD and a book called 'New Old Shoes" as a thanks from Soles4Souls.

Her mom sent me this email upon seeing the newsletter today:

"Hi Tiffany,

Thanks for the email. Hannah did get her package and she loved it. She took the book to school for Show and Tell to read to the class. She also put the CD straight into the player in our kitchen and carried the case around with her. She said you look like Cinderella!

You have been a blessing to us and we thank you."

This is enough....enough for me. That is it, ya'll. What it's all about.

Oh my, oh my....a lot to say

2010-05-19T16:04:00.000-07:00

Man, what a month so far. I left my home early Sunday May 2nd to go to my church, only to be evacuated because of the flooding sweeping across parts of Nashville. My dear friend Bill Harrell and I were together 12 hours in his car, going from place to place, at one time a hill top because we got caught in a pretty scary downpour. I stayed with my best friend until Tuesday morning, because things were virtually waterlocked around her neighborhood.

I came home to my little abode, and then reality set in, as I sat alone on my couch and watched the news. Being a South Carolina girl, I had been through a hurricane. I know what that is, it comes, rips up, and leaves. Although there are similarities, a flood is very different. You have to wait on the water to leave. And it took a while, it STILL is taking a while. I sat there helpless, and scared, I live by myself, and sometimes, you have those moments that you think "I am all alone". But we really are never alone, unless we choose that.

I live about 30 minutes from the Bellevue area, which is where I go to church, and where I was stuck, and it was one of the hardest hit. Massive volunteering efforts had started that week, so I put on my duck boots (any good Southerner will know what those are) and went to Bellevue. I pulled sheetrock with strangers, cleaned out flooded basements, ate lunch prepared by insurance companies that set up stations, and literally bathed in the flood of goodwill and love that is NASHVILLE. I will always be a South Carolinian, but this is my home now. This beautiful state and city has made me understand why Tennessee is the Volunteer State.

It is SO sad, people have lost everything....except for their resolve. But it is also so beautiful in it's brokenness. I have had the opportunity to work with Soles4Souls and give shoes away to flood victims as well. WE have given shoes to people who have cleaned out their shoe closets for us in the past, and they humbly came because they have nothing left. I drove downtown today to deliver a pair of work boots to Eric, who has been doing reconstruction and clean up downtown in GALOSHES....freaking galoshes!!!!! His smile today and hug made my heart SOAR.

There is still SO much devastation and so much to be done. People need the simplest things, groceries, toiletries, your time, manual labor, a shoulder, an ear, a movie night to get their mind off of what they have been through.

I am so thankful that my home is OK. But my heart isn't.....God has grabbed my heart and squeezed it hard with this. Things are things, they are reminders of our past, but they can replaced. People can't, relationships can't, and these are what matter most. Sacrificing our time and resources will always bless us! Even if we feel we don't have it to give, give on the faith that it will be provided and IT WILL!!

I love you, Nashville. You have inspired me, and changed me.

The List

2010-05-05T14:03:00.000-07:00

I don't want alot of things in life. I have figured out that the simpler my life is, the happier I am. But if someone asked me to give them my "wishlist", this would be it...

1. I want to be a great friend.

2. I want to have great friends who love me as I am, and walk through joy, doubt, and sadness with me.

3. I want to enrich the lives of other people, to be a positive force. I want to be the face of love to people in my life, and hopefully just be an outlet for God to touch their soul.

4. I want to have someone in my life that will allow me to truly love him and be truly loved by someone that accepts me as I am, and inspires me to get where I can be.

5. I want to be able to take care of my Momma.

6. I want to use my gifts in ways that feed my soul. It can be singing at church, singing in a club, painting a picture for a friend, painting a wall of a Habitat for Humanity house, helping a friend find an outfit that makes her feel like a million bucks. I want to create, because I was born to do that.

7. I want a bathtub with claws on the bottom.

8. I want to always have kitties in my house.

9. I want to sit on the beach as much as I possibly can and watch God's majesty.

10. I want to feel God smile upon me, as often as possible.

OMG...Shoes

2010-04-28T12:39:00.000-07:00

Today I was getting a pair of shoes out my closet. My new JESSICA SIMPSON NUDE PEEP TOE PLATFORM HEELS! Love them, my Momma bought them for me as an "I love you" present, and I just stopped for a moment, and just held them up, with that wonderful feeling in my heart that only a REAL SHOE-A-HOLIC can understand.... Love, admiration of their beauty and the anticipation of wearing them.

And then I thought about how it must feel for someone in need when Soles4Souls gives them a pair of shoes (whether it is their first pair EVER or first good pair in a long time). So, I guess I should multiply my SHOE-EUPHORIA by 1 million to equal only a fraction of what it must feel like for a man, woman or child in need when they receive the gift of shoes, whether it is here in the US or worldwide.
A simple gift of $1 (YES, one dollar) can help Soles4Souls provide that gift to someone. Will you help? To donate, go to Soles4Souls
and get involved.

(I can't wait to rock my new shoes out..... and help others as well)

A Great Song (and the story behind it)

2010-04-23T08:21:00.000-07:00

I was singing this past weekend and in my set, I sang “Somewhere Over The Rainbow”, which is a spectacular song. I couldn’t help but think about the power of a GREAT song. It transcends time, as it strikes a chord deep in the soul and takes us somewhere far away for a few minutes. I am so fortunate to have sung MANY great songs over the years.

And as this journey called “Releasing a CD and working your butt off to get it out there because you love it and also giving it to God everyday because you KNOW He’s in charge anyway” continues, I am very thankful because I think I have 7 GREAT songs on Scuffed and Simple, and it was simply divine appointments that brought them my way.

I want to share the story of how one song came to me, because living in Nashville has taught me the beauty of the story behind the songs I hear, they make them so much more precious when I hear them.

“Shine” written by Scott Sean White

One of the first country demos I ever recorded was for a guy named Scott Sean White. He lives in Texas, so I just went to a recording studio and sang, and got paid, without ever meeting him. Being the NICE guy that he is (he really is just an amazing human being), he contacted me to say how much he enjoyed it. Months after that, I went to see him perform at the Bluebird Café so I could meet this great writer (by that time, I had sung on more demos for him). And a friendship was born! When he sent me the demo of “Shine“ that he had recorded, I listened while I was driving on the interstate and chills just went all over me. The song just KILLED me (and I silently hoped one day I could record it….please God). Scott says to me that it was inspired mostly from the love and support his wife has given him over the years, and that has kept him going. He has had me sing it live for him at Writer’s Nights more times than I can count, and I never get tired of singing that song. So, when I had the opportunity to record it for MY project, umm, DUH….yes!! I have been asked repeatedly if I wrote it, and I tell him “No, but my friend Scott Sean White did”, and the best compliment I get is “well, you sing it like you wrote it”.

Sweet Moments

2010-04-21T05:26:00.001-07:00

This weekend, I performed at the South Carolina Pilot Club Convention at Myrtle Beach, SC, it was such a great time, and I was excited, because it was my first performance since my CD came out. My sweet Momma was there along with other special people in my life, Norma and Zeb Andrews, and getting to share my music and my story with the group of around 300 was an awesome experience.

I am very blessed to be able to have the opportunity to do what I love, both through the vehicle of music and work with Soles4Souls.

Here are a few pics!

FREE WEDNESDAY DOWNLOAD!! ENJOY!

2010-04-14T08:20:00.000-07:00

FREE download of "Shine" for u! Send me a comment with your email for your download code and then go to http://tiffanyjohnson.bandcamp.com/yum to redeem.

One week of having my CD OUT THERE....

2010-04-13T10:59:00.000-07:00

Has been interesting to say the least. Between my Momma carting it around and selling it in SC to comments, emails and the like from people who have purchased. All in all, everyone's response has been very positive. I think the coolest thing for me is finally having something out there that truly IS A LABOR OF LOVE that says what I want to say...about everything.

I am an artist too, occasionally picking up the pencils or paintbrushes to create, but music is different, I could do it 24/7 for absolutely NO ONE, simply because it is therapeutic, expressive and an extension of me. But when others love it too, and affirm, wow, blessings galore.

My wise sage friend Billy says "we create, because we were created" and I think it is true. It brings me joy, to even take the packages to the post office made me get a little giddy, because there I went, to deliver a piece of me to someone that wants to hear and in delivering it, my hope is that they will be inspired and blessed through the gift.

Each day is a gift. And PEOPLE, each one of us HAS SOMETHING TO GIVE TO THIS WORLD. Don't hide it, give it away. You can't take it with you...

Bruised Reeds

2010-04-08T05:25:00.000-07:00

I know I end up talking about God a lot, and my faith. But honestly, it is what sustains me, and I have had seasons in my life where I have been very close to him, and at times, far away. And the beautiful thing about Him is that HE never moves from us. We do the moving, He stays put; He is the same yesterday, today and forever. The very different thing about my faith now is that He is more real to me than He has ever been.

I am in a season of my life now that I would call "cleaning up messes and brokenness". That is the best way to describe it. God has used a series of events to call to mind several "messes" that I needed to clean up. So, after fighting with him about it, I stuck my tail between my legs and started picking up after myself. And it felt amazing. It was scary, and humbling, but after I was done with my end of the cleaning, I felt such a freedom and lightness that only comes when we surrender to His voice. And I left my seed in the ground (and that was hard, because us control freaks want to mess with it every minute of every day).

But there is some brokenness along the way too. Knowing that I can listen to Him and obey Him, and then I have to surrender the "mess" and trust Him. And I am broken right now. Heartbroken, lifebroken, just broken. And at times, it is a beautiful place to be, but most of the time, it hurts worse than anything. And it is heart hurt, if it was a headache, I could take Advil. But it is a soulache, and that requires time, patience and trust.

This verse came to mind this morning. Matthew 12:20 "a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench; until he brings justice to victory"

I am a bruised reed. I can hardly keep it up right now, but when plants are bruised, you tie them to a stick and it holds them up. I am a smoldering wick, still burning, but not blown out, but NOT entirely aflame either.

Seasons bring a lot of stuff into our lives; we can choose to avoid it, move on or we can ride it out and know that something beautiful will happen there.

God, I am your bruised reed. Hold me up, help me grow. Bend me, even break me if you have to.

Today is the DAY

2010-04-06T11:07:00.000-07:00

My CD is available, released and out there. Wow. That moment is here. I have a bunch of feelings going around in my tummy about it, and too much to verbalize. My wish is that I can continue on a journey of using my music as a platform to bring people joy and touch their heart, and I hope to record another project in the future.
Great songs are like great books, stories or art, they need to be passed on. Do me a favor, if you are inspired by this project, get a copy for someone and pass it on. Of course, I would love to sell a bunch (who wouldn't?) but more than that, I want to be a vessel that is just used to encourage, uplift and inspire. So, if something on this project inspires you...PAY IT FORWARD.

And thank you for visiting, and listening.

Shine,
Tiffany

Faith

2010-03-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

I am a control freak. There. I said it.

I love God, and want Him to be in control of my life, so often this control freak problem I have interferes with my faith. Not just in God, but in all areas of my life. I want to hold on to every little detail and control the outcome, not understanding that sometimes that is the absolute worst thing I can do to/and for Jesus, myself and others.

Having faith can be tricky at times though. Honestly, there are times in my day when my faith meter is way up, and then it comes crashing down when something doesn't go my way. And yet there is another key component of my problem. "Doesn't go my way".

The Bible says, "there is a way that seems right to man, but its end is the way to death" (Prov 16:5)

So, like I said, my way isn't always the right way. Yes, I have good intentions and pure motives, but I can't trust myself completely to take the right road. I need help, I need to take my hands off the wheel and let the one that made the roads and knows my ultimate path take over.

I think God sits up there sometimes just shaking his head at our boo-boos, and I think he hurts for us too. He hurts when we try everything else in the world to heal our hearts and give us joy except for Him. He sees us broken and lost, and wants to be that comfort to us.

I am thankful became a follower of Him almost 14 years ago. And I haven't clung to Him like I should, but I am a work in progress. And a control freak (but I am working on it)...

Seeds, Love and Dreams

2010-03-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

I am very fortunate to have a wonderful church and pastor. And he has been speaking on a great thing: our life. The series is called 3 Lives, check out www.hopepark.com and listen.

He shared Mark 4:26-29 "26And He said, The kingdom of God is like a man who scatters seed upon the ground 27And then continues sleeping and rising night and day while the seed sprouts and grows and [l]increases--he knows not how. 28The earth produces [acting] by itself--first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. 29But when the grain is ripe and permits, immediately he [m]sends forth [the reapers] and puts in the sickle, because the harvest stands ready." AMP

He talked about the definition of the word SCATTER above. And that it in the original text, it is the word BALLO. And it means to throw out without care, to unselfishly let go of the seed.

It is really easy to hold on to our dreams and choke the life out of them, to put our seed only where we want things to grow, but in the end, somebody bigger than you and I is working all of that out. So, it is just easier to scatter our seed everywhere and know that God's growing patterns are much more productive than ours.

Blooming where we are planted, instead of waiting to bud where we would like to.

Scattering seed in places where we are uncomfortable and afraid, but knowing that something beautiful will grow there.

Loving is like caring for a garden. Love too much or too little and it dies, love just right and it will live forever.

I love Jessica Simpson

2010-03-16T18:59:00.000-07:00

I was watching her new reality show "The Price of Beauty" tonight on VH1 while I was at the gym (multitasking). It is a really interesting show, she is traveling the world showing what women in all countries will do to be beautiful and what beauty is in different cultures.
I watched her on a talk show the other day too, and I just think a lot of her. I know she has gotten some bad press at times. But I think underneath it all, in spite of the stuff she has gone through, there is a beautiful soul there in her. She grew up with good roots, and they remain.
I love that she is vulnerable too, and not afraid to show that she may be hurt or confused. That, to me, is real strength. And she is funny, and real, and so freakin beautiful.

So, Jessica, if you read this....I love you and I believe in you. Thank you for being "real"

2010-03-11T19:28:00.000-08:00

Oh yes, your eyes are not deceiving you. I went to Hillwood High School in Nashville, TN today to speak on behalf of Soles4Souls. The students had collected over 1500 pairs of shoes, and raised over $1000 to help us in our relief efforts to Haiti. They raised the money for a chance to either shave their teacher's heads or dye them green. And wow, was it awesome to watch!! It was great talking with the students, seeing their enthusiasm for this project, and hearing the teachers praise their efforts. And then they pulled me in. It was a simple question, "would you let them dye your hair", and without thinking, I said "yes".

And there I was in the chair, students screaming and cheering as they painted my long, blond hair. If you are not aware, my hair is a very big deal to me. I take really good care of it, and it is a crutch for me, no matter what, I can count on my hair looking good. But in the excitement of it all, I didn't really matter to me at first. But I won't lie, there was a moment where I did panic a little and think, "oh no, what if this doesn't wash out?"

But you know what, it did! And it was totally worth it, to cheer a bunch of high school students on through this! It's just hair! These kids donated their shoes, time and money for the chance to help change the world through the gift of shoes. It was a great experience! I even forgot as I drove home, until I saw the people staring at me in the car beside me.

Why worry

2010-03-10T10:42:00.000-08:00

Spring is close. I know it because my little birdies wake me up before my alarm clock does outside. They are at my bird feeder, and I could really sit and watch them forever. My momma got me started on the birds several years ago because she had discovered a love for feeding them and watching them. I live pretty high up, and I had a beautiful weeping willow by my porch, but it died last year and I thought my birds wouldn't come back. I was wrong.

And here they are again, tiny little brown sparrows, beautiful chickadees, big red birds (the cocky pretty males and plain Jane females) and the goldfinches, that are so bright yellow they look NEON, they hang on their finch sock for dear life and swing back and forth while they eat.

They fly in, eat for a moment, and fly out, and just seem so carefree.

It makes me think about the verse in Matthew 6:26-27" Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?" NLT

Now don't get me wrong...I don't think we all just need to fly around without a plan, and think...well, God is just going to take care of all this. But, I do think there is something to learn there. If God can take care of these small creatures, and give them to us to watch and enjoy, with all their beautiful colors and grace, how much more can He do for us?

How much more? Why should we worry and be downhearted? Maybe it is just enough to take what we have been given with grace and trust and live it out, knowing our Creator is in charge, and He will use our gifts, efforts and abilities for His glory and give us what we need each step of the way.

Calico Trail

2010-03-09T10:36:00.000-08:00

Nashville is a city full of dreamers. And it is especially sweet to see people, sweet, hardworking people, achieve some of their dreams. I am going tonight to hear some of my friends that are in the band, Calico Trail (www.myspace.com/calicotrail), play out for their first full band gig tonight! They are all amazing musicians, and have worked SO hard! And I can't WAIT to see what happens for them. So proud of Timmy D and Jon and all the other guys!

if you are around tonight, they will play at 12th and Porter in Nashville (AT 12th Ave and Porter...duh) at 9:00pm, which Nashville Time means 9:30pm.

COME OUT!

The greatest choice

2010-03-06T08:58:00.000-08:00

Money comes and goes, but love is forever. Beauty and youth will be a memory one day, but love is forever. Recognition and power will not comfort you or hold you, but love will. Love is the source that carries us into this world, through our brief life, and into eternity.
It is a choice we have to make, a daily decision. The biggest responsibility we can undertake, but the greatest blessing.
Choose love, it never fails.

Things I love right now...

2010-02-23T14:42:00.000-08:00

1. Being at the gym when "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" is on. I cut the bells and whistles on my cable to save $$$, and I only get about 20 channels now, the major networks, cable access and all the Christian channels. I miss E and Bravo, so I get really excited when providence sets in when I work out.

2. The devotional book "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. Everyday it gives me something to think about and hold on to through the whole day. I love it, I think I love it more than "My Utmost for His Highest"....It is simpler.

3. Waking up and seeing my kitties cuddling with me, they love to be all sweet and cuddly when it is cold outside..and inside.

4. Random texts or emails from old and far away friends. They come at the right time, always.

5. The Grill at Whole Foods. The luv the food, luv, luv, luv.

6. Laughing. Always. It never gets old, and it feels so good.

7. The website www.incourage.me I love it!!! You can get a daily devotional sent to your email.

8. The fact that my CD is done, and will be sent to duplication later this week. This is my greatest accomplishment, I do believe.

9. Coffeemate Italian Sweet Creme Creamer. Thank you Jesus.

10. That I will be an "cousin auntie" in just a month or two and then again in August, and they are BOTH girls!!!!

Thursday, February 18th

2010-02-18T15:50:00.000-08:00

I am so very thankful that God pursues me, that He loves me. He is always letting me know that through the beauty of the sun, moon and stars, through the path of my life and they relationships I encounter along the way. He sings to me through music, and gives me the fragrance of who He is through roses and fresh cookies. He shows me delight through a child's laughter or animals playing.
He is never far away from me at all, and I am never out of his sight. He loves me that much. I did not do anything to earn this love, nor do I deserve it. But I am the apple of his eye, created for Him alone, every hair on my head and thought I have, He knows.

Just knowing this is enough when there are days that I doubt. I pray and trust that He will continuously remind me how much He loves his little girl named Tiffany.

Kids and Valentines

2010-02-12T19:55:00.000-08:00

I had to speak at an elementary school today and it did me a world of good. Not only were all of the children at W.A. Wright Elementary attentive and well mannered, but such a sweet bunch as well. It is amazing to me how children are just uninhibited. They feel the need to hug, they do. I got down on my knees to their level and was having a very deep convo about hair with some 1st graders, they all wanted to show me their pigtails, sparkles on their jeans, missing teeth and so on. And one little girl just looked at me so sweetly and said "you have very pretty hair" and then just reached out and hugged me.

How can children just freely express what they feel? How come it feels so good when you get that from little munchkins? Maybe because we know that in those moments, it really is genuine, heartfelt. There are no "what's in it for me" thoughts, or withholding of affection. It just flows freely.

scuffed and simple...and finished

2010-02-11T21:24:00.000-08:00

I picked up the master copy of my record tonight. It only needs to be sent to the duplication company and then it is ready. Really ready, like buy it on ITunes, buy it on the website ready. And I am driving around tonight at 10:30 in my car listening, and yes, hearing all the little things that no one else will probably notice and remembering every "thing" behind the sounds, song, etc. And then I realized that the little disc in my CD player is a dream I actually got to experience come true. And in that moment, I just stopped listening and said a grateful prayer that I got to do this project, and said a prayer of thanks for the person that helped my dream come true.

Give it Away

2010-01-27T16:31:00.000-08:00

"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it’s in your power to help them" Proverbs 3:27 (NLT)

I saw this verse today as I drove down the road. What a thought. A few things came to mind, I thought about times I am given an opportunity to give, and I don't. Maybe it is because of fear (lack of resources, that they will ask me again and I won't have it, etc), or self-righteousness (that person is in the shape they are in because of the choices they have made, blah, blah, blah).

But giving is my call as a human being and as a Christian. To love, to sacrifice, to expend myself to everyone. I guess I can't even make the judgment call on who deserves it, I just have to give, especially when I hold what they need in my hands.

My prayer is that I will learn to just give and give and give, even when I don't have much in the way of resources, and even when I feel alone, and empty, that I will have the strength to keep giving, and giving, and giving.

In their shoes

2010-01-14T14:12:00.000-08:00

Haiti. wow. What can you really say?

I am watching the news and seeing the photos and it reminds me of 9/11. After a while, we were numb to the video and photos. "there goes the building collapse again, there is another shot of blood and tears and fear".

It is easy to get that way again. But all that we are viewing represents real flesh and blood; mommas, daddies, wives, husbands, orphans, widows, and they have lost so much. It is mind blowing. It can ALL be gone in a flash. It is NOT up to us. I am sitting in a Panera bread right now, typing this, and I looked up a moment ago and thought, wow, someone was sitting at a table in Haiti and the ceiling fell on them, no warning, nothing.

Life is short, people. Give this week to a relief organization, instead of an extra glass of wine, a magazine or something else. Say a prayer for the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. It is full of precious lives that have been rocked to the core. Be kind to your neighbor, and your neighbor's dog (or cat).

And remember, other than the grace of God, this could be us. How does that one thought color your next word or deed?

Technology...ugh

2010-01-10T21:28:00.000-08:00

My 5 year old Dell (yep, I am so "with it") crashed Friday. I was devastated. It was time anyway, so now I am typing on a new HP 14 inch laptop. I have a ways to go to get it organized.
Technology is amazing, I posted on my twitter this week for North Dakota and Vermont to give me some love because they are the only 2 states where I have not gotten hits on my website, and BAM, I get tweets from those states. But technology is hard work just like everything else, you constantly have to adapt, change, and relearn. So, really nothing is all that easy. No matter how much "technology" we have. So, $1100 later, I have a new, protected laptop with a hard drive to backup files and a 3 year service plan in case I drop it or spill coffee on it.

....I miss a notepad, stamps and a walkman.

Deep Thoughts by Tiffany Johnson :)

2010-01-05T20:54:00.001-08:00

I am very lighthearted at the moment and I realized it is time for a bloggie-blog. A couple of things to to talk about and then I am off to bed.

1. GO SEE "THE BLIND SIDE". Now. In the theater. GO. GO. GO. Not only is the story incredible, and TRUE. The acting is too. And it leaves you inspired, and ready to put yourself out there in an "inconvenient" way, which is usually the best thing that could happen to any one of us.

2. What is up with men that are with their families, wives, etc. all googly eyed over other women? I am far from the supermodel, but I got that look tonight as he was in tow behind his wife and two kids. And I watch men looking at other women too. Listen, I know you're not dead, but you're also supposedly committed and in love. So, respect your partner enough to AT LEAST be subtle and don't say someone's HOT in front of your lady either. NOT GOOD. It makes me sad.

3. I recut drums for my CD yesterday with Dan Needham. He wins the "Mr. Congeniality" Award for my CD project. Not only is he A-FREAKIN-MAZING, but he is a crackup. I laughed so hard my head hurt when I left, but I left with some kicka&s drums. :)

Happy FULL WEEK OF THE NEW YEAR!

Happy Birthday Daddy.

2009-12-15T13:37:00.000-08:00

A note to you:
This is very close to my heart. As you will read, my Dad is no longer here on earth for me to have a relationship with. Fathers, cherish your daughters. They are your princesses and they deserve nothing less, even if they have made mistakes (who hasn't?). Daughters, forgive your fathers for things that warrant true forgiveness and acceptance of a relationship and mend it. Time is a gift we cannot get back.

In 2002 my Dad died. We had an often turbulent relationship, and the last year of his life we did not speak. I spent a lot of time fearing him, dreading to see him and then distancing myself from him. He could be a beautiful person, he was blond and tall and had the most amazing personality and I can remember being little and just worshipping him.

But sometimes, he wasn't beautiful. He could be cruel, and critical; often making me feel like the smallest person in the world. He had a unique way of stomping all over my dreams, squashing my creativity and verbally tearing me to pieces.

Maybe he thought he was being practical, but an artistic little girl needed nurturing and affirmation. She needed to know the THE man in her life thought she was beautiful and marvelous.

So, for most of the moments in my life, he wasn't there. He was a shadow in my life and sometimes, the sun would briefly shine through. I got weary of having that shadow cast on me and went for months without calling him. He never called me anyway, and more time just passed.

And then he was gone. He died January 17, 2002. I didn't fully accept it until several years ago. And then I grieved, I remembered what he smelled like, Coast soap and dirt and sweat...my truck smells like him. I remembered memories; hunting, riding in the pickup, watching Westerns on Sunday. I found a letter from him he sent to me in college, telling me he was proud of me and in so many words, apologizing for not being much of a parent.

If I could have 5 minutes with him, I would make him sing the song to me he made up about us. I cannot remember the words, I wish I could. I would drink a cup of coffee with him, he loved coffee and it seemed that his cup was never empty. I would make him tell me stories about being a little boy and about his horses and cows.

I would look at him and understand that he was just so screwed up, he couldn't help it if he didn't know how to love me.

I would ask if he thought I was beautiful, and hope he said yes, because all little girls need that from their Daddy.

I would extend grace and forgiveness to him for not being there for me. I would ask him to do the same for me.

I have a picture of him as a young man. He was beautiful and flawed, misunderstood and charismatic, and lonely. And he was my Dad

And I love him, just as he was.

Christmas Time is Here

2009-12-06T17:50:00.000-08:00

I used to wonder why people loved to talk about the past so much. You know how a bunch of old people like to get together and tell stories about when they were young? As I get older, I understand why. Memories, specifically the good ones, have a way of making us feel alive again and whole. They comfort and remind us of a different time, often a better time. Christmas is such a special time of year and for many, it can be very lonely. Christmas memories can be joyful and bittersweet. I was so fortunate to have MANY wonderful Christmases, and hopefully more to come. I want to share a few memories with you.

Christmas Eve was always a time with my Daddy. He was a beautiful man, tall with blond hair, a beautiful smile and green eyes. He always drove a Ford pickup truck, and he would come get me and take me to Grandma Millies. There was always a ton of amazing food, and chocolate eclair cake (that was my favorite!). I felt SO special in that big pickup truck, driving back home to Momma's, looking up through the windshield for a glimpse of Rudolph.

In second grade, I got Mikey the cocker spaniel for Christmas. I walked out of my bedroom and his sweet little head popped up out of the box! The first pictures Momma took of us, I am just hugging him and crying. He was the prettiest puppy in the world! I was SO surprised and OVER THE MOON! What could be better than a puppy for Christmas?

The most precious Christmas gift I received was from my Momma while I was in college. She spent several months making me a beautiful quilt. She had embroidered several quotes and Bible verses on it, and it is a beautiful pattern of hearts. I keep it packed up now, but I just remember opening the gift and being floored at the time, talent, love and effort she had put into that beautiful quilt for me.

The last few years I have spent my Christmas Eve at The Church at Hopepark participating in their Christmas Eve services. It has always been special to share that time with people you love and new people you grow to love, using your gifts for a greater good. There is nothing like it, sharing that time to worship together and celebrate the birth of Christ. I always left those services knowing I had a long drive home ahead, but the feeling of love and community made it an easy drive.

So, Christmas time is here. Make some memories. You might need them one day, to share with others you love, or to remind you that are loved. Merry Christmas.

Dreams

2009-10-31T21:21:00.001-07:00

I have never been a BIG DREAMER. Even when I think back to being a little girl, I didn't have these huge dreams for my life, I never dreamed of being rich, or famous. Even now, I can say that some of my biggest dreams came true. I dreamed of going to college, and I did. I dreamed to be able to sing full time, and I have done that several times in my life. My dream in college was to be in the Christian music group Truth, and I was a singer on their very last tour. Those may seem little to many, but in my world, they were my biggest dreams, and they came true.

My dreams now are a little different. I dream of being able to take care of my Momma one day, because she took care of me for so long. I dream of being a good friend to people, and a light in their life. I dream of making a difference in people's lives with my God given gifts and life skills. I dream of having a lifelong true companion who will love me to my core, and I dream of being able to fully return that love.

These dreams seem alot harder to obtain than the ones above. My dream is that I finish well. "That the seeds God will let me plant will bloom eternally long after I'm forgotten".

I have said it before: Life moves so very quickly. Hold onto what you love, and give yourself away. Love is the biggest word there is. It is the strongest power we have.

Dream. Please dream.

Updates!

2009-10-28T12:28:00.001-07:00

Hey Ya'll,
I just wanted to kind of give you people an update on what is going on in "tiffanyland".

First of all, I had a gig last Friday at The Listening Room Cafe in Nashville, TN with Benita Hill, Lionel Cartwright, and Clara Oman, we collected shoes for Soles4Souls! We had a GREAT CROWD! And we collected almost 2 collection boxes full of shoes!!! It was a great night. I am really looking forward to performing more in 2010 with my new music, the more I have done these tunes live, the more excited I am getting. I feel so at home with this music and I just LOVE it! I was just blown away at people coming out to see us, it is so motivating and encouraging, and I got some great facebook messages and emails about the gig, and all I can SAY IS THANK YOU!!!

Second, my friends Lisa Davis and Jack Purcell got married last Saturday night here in Nashville. Jack was the drummer in the band that I was in for a while called The Zodiacs, and he is the greatest guy, and Lisa is the greatest girl. And their wedding was SO special. It was just a wonderful, beautiful expression of their commitment to each other...which is exactly what you hope for. It just really touched my hesrt.

Lastly, the CD is on its way soon!! I promise! I gotta get pics taken this week or next and then the artwork, and all the jazz and BOOM!! YOU CAN BUY IT!!!

It is almost here...wow.

Oh, and can I just say how much I love Nashville, especially in the fall?????

L-O-V-E,
Tif

Funny!

2009-10-20T11:06:00.000-07:00

I NEVER check out Youtube.com, unless someone sends it to me. But I was searching for a live performance of me singing and found these clips as I searched under "My Dorothy Shoes", which is the title of one of the songs off my upcoming CD. The first clip is just really cool, it is called "Anti-Dorothy Shoes" and the second clip is so funny, especially for your Muppet Fans.

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAA2Z6jsZCk&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdIAWaFoXUs&feature=related

Almost there

2009-10-19T20:02:00.000-07:00

The Cd is almost there. We are mixing it, and I am SO freakin EXCITED!!! I feel like it is my baby, I am so proud...
Actually, this experience is alot like birth. This has not happened quite like I thought it would. It has taken longer than I thought, the direction that it went in stylistically took alot of "fleshing out". There have been lulls in the process, and I have learned alot about trusting my gut through this, and ALOT about FAITH.
It would be easy if I could control everything about this journey and the outcome, but I don't think it would be as beautiful, or as delightful. The process has given me incredible amounts of joy....and I am feeling a sense of pride as I hear the end results. Also, a sense of relief that what has been caught "on tape" is authentic to who I am and what I want to convey.

So, I will keep you posted on where you can buy it, or come hear it.

Overwhelmed! In a GOOD WAY!

2009-10-05T09:15:00.000-07:00

So, last week I recorded a choir on one of the songs for my upcoming CD that will be released SOON!! And we emailed people and asked for volunteers. And 12 amazing singers from my church showed up, and it just overwhelmed me. Thank you to the 12 of you for giving up a night to come out and sing for me!!! It meant so very much to me!!! Thank you to the Estoks for turning their house upside down to accomodate everyone!!!!

It just amazes me when people do stuff like that. It really makes you feel pretty good.

My Silly Momma

2009-09-29T17:49:00.000-07:00

I love my Momma, I know I have said it before. But, this little tiny, amazing person just is such a gift to me. I am so blessed to have a parent like her. She knows I am a HUGE John Mayer fan, I call him "my boyfriend", so she sends me a priority mail package with a card and a new Home Decor magazine featuring a spread about his SoHo loft (that one depresses me, because I would die...I would die...for a loft in SoHo).

Anyway, so I flip to the article and I am turning pages as I am on the phone with her, and the shot of his bedroom has...no, can it be???...MY GLAMOUR SHOT ON HIS WALL FROM MY COLLEGE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, Ok, she took a little creative liberties with the issue. I about peed my pants.

I love my Momma. I love that she knows that a $4.00 package will give me happiness that is priceless. I love her forever.

Whole Lot of Love from HopePark

2009-08-30T18:38:00.000-07:00

I have been at The Church at Hopepark in Nashville, TN for 7 years now. I love my church, love my pastor, the staff and the beautiful people that I get to know and worship with and do life with. I am frequently involved in the music there and I am honored to be able to use my gifts.

I am always BLOWN away by the love and encouragement I receive when I do this. I sang at a women's event last night there and the responses already have just touched me so deeply. Sometimes it is hard to get up and lead people in worship or communicate a song, especially when I am struggling with something personally or having a tough day, or just the whole feeling of being unworthy to even do that.

I really felt like I had nothing to give last night. I even left the event thinking, man, this could have gone so much better if I had done this, that, etc.

But, I have had such wonderful feedback. It is just a reminder that God uses us in our weakness, when we are weak, He is strong.

Hopepark Family, you will never know how powerfully you touch my life. I love my church and the family I have made there. When I drive down the big driveway to the church, I thank God that I have such a wonderful community of believers to share this life with. Thank you, I love ya'll so much.

Reynosa Day 2

2009-08-25T06:47:00.000-07:00

So, the distribution trip is done. And I am getting on a plane in a couple of hours. I told you about Sunday's distribution at the church, and how great it was. And yesterday was just as amazing. We went to an orphanage in Reynosa, Mexico and to be honest, I was preparing myself for one big ole ugly cry. I was expecting to see all these sad faces and have children trying to leave with me and so on. That is not what I found there.

We entered the orphanage that morning and unloaded shoes as dozens of little dark eyes watched and then went back to their coloring because it was alot more interesting. The orphanage is a 2 story facility. For the standards in Mexico, it is very clean. The smells weren't always the best, but generally this place was clean and neat and sunny. I was pleasantly surprised.

After we got the shoes unloaded, I sat with a group of little girls (probably about 5-8 years old) and colored with them. It was frustrating and comical to have limited communication, but they were very patient and we worked around it. They just enjoyed having a buddy to color with.

I just happened to bring a bunch of stickers with me to Mexico. At Target, I decided against the candy and bought stickers of cars, SpongeBob, hearts, butterflies(mariposas in espanol), stars (estrellas in espanol), DORA and happy faces. I pulled the stickers out, and...IT..WAS..ON. They went nuts, I had kids with stickers all over their face, clothes, backpacks....IT WAS FABULOUS. I kept having negotiations with little folks that wanted more, and of course, I would give in every time and say "uno mas" (one more).

I snuck in the little kids area later and watched as they napped, and saw a precious angel with a star sticker still on her cheek.

We had lunch at the orphanage and they served us first, we has something called Menudo. Moses, our Mexican pastor/tour guide/bodyguard/man about town/powerlifter, informed us that this word means "common". Menudo was a stew filled with a tomato broth, hominy and cow knuckles, stomach, and many other things I don't want to know about. I tried, ya'll. I ate all the hominy. Some of our other girls couldn't do it, and they tried too. SO, Mercedes, the lunch lady of the orphanage (who looks like lunch ladies look in the US...guess it is universal), came over and brought us cheese quesadillas because she said they made them anyway for the other kids. I love Mercedes, for many reasons, for honoring us with a meal and for realizing that we were not all fans of cow knuckles.

As we finished us, they brought the younger kids in to eat. I went over to a table and helped them feed the kids. The children at my table were anywhere from 10 months to 2 years. I spoon fed a little girl her lunch and entertained a very animated little girl and a boy named Victor. Everytime I would smile at Victor he would do that belly laugh that babies do, and throw his head back. The goal of lunch was to get the kids to eat with their spoons, not their hands. It was a sight. We chanted in Spanish "manos no, cuchara si" (hands no, spoon yes)

After lunch, we started fitting shoes. I have to say the more I do this, I love it. I love getting down and fitting people with shoes. I think it is even more personal than when you give someone clothes or anything else, there is just something about dealing with a person's feet that touches them in a different way. We had just a few cases where we didn't have the exact size, and we gave them something a half size or so bigger because they are still growing. Generally, the Mexican people are smaller than Americans, with tiny little feet. I fitted sweet shy, little boys, and girls who even though they are young and in poverty, wanted girly shoes, the school shoes we brought, which they definitely need, were not quite as froo-froo as they would have liked. I loved this, universally, girls are girls.

I had one little girl that was born with webbed feet. Her name was Ingrid and she had surgery not too long ago to repair it, but there is still a definite deformity to her foot. She was very shy about taking her boot off. I finally got her to and we found a pair that didn't irriate her foot. I just wanted to kiss her little feet. I told her in Spanish that she was beautiful and her feet were too. She melted my heart.

I noticed that when we got to the older girls to fit, it was a little harder to break through to them. You could see in their eyes that alot of hurt was there. I just wished I could have talked more to them, communicated better, stayed longer.

At the end of the day, I decided to walk into the young kids area during naptime. It was so peaceful in there. hey had classical music playing and in each section, there were little sleeping angels. I leaned over the ledge and just watched the sleep. I wonder what their life will be like, if they will make it? Will they grow up and have a family, will they resist the cycle they were born in to? A couple of kids were awake, and they remembered that I was the sticker lady, to which I replied "no mas" (no more). I found one sticker on my shirt and I gave it to a little boy, about 3. I leaned down and stuck it on his shirt, and hugged him. He just squeezed me so tight, I didn't want to let him go.

I noticed yesterday that in the midst of being orphaned, and in an area of poverty, these children are generally very happy. They are fed and loved by a group of amazing people, and have a safe haven there. Things in their life could be better, yes, it definitely could. But they are loved, and cared for. And I was so touched by that day, by that experience. I want to do what I can to make their world better, whether that is by sending shoes, money, or going back with stickers and coloring books. I left burdened but I left happy. I got to love on them, and I was loved in return. And isn't that what is most important?

I want to thank all those children for reminding me of this one thing: If we do not have love, we have nothing.

Reynosa Mexico Trip Day 1

2009-08-23T15:23:00.001-07:00

I just back to our hotel in Texas after our first distribution. Our little group of 8 left the hotel earlier and entered Mexico with our shoes, stopping to have lunch before the distribution. I ate something like a deep fried baguette, filled with ground meat, cilantro, avocado and hot suace, called "lonches", and it changed my life. I also drank a Coca Cola sweetened with real cane sugar...wow. We walked around the market for a little while, and it was just a market, full of stuff.
Then we headed outside of the city area to Reynosa to a church just getting out of their service. We got there, and unloaded the shoes, and it was a little crazy for a while. We tried to get everyone in an orderly line, and sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. All in all, we probably gave away 200 plus pairs of shoes, mostly to children. We would measure their sweet little feet with a paper measuring chart, and do the best we could to find their current size or something they could grow into. The pastor's middle daughter, Abbi, became my little sidekick and a tremendous help. She translated for me, helped me measure and I just felt such love and grace from this 10 year old. She is going to grow into an amazing woman. She blessed my heart with her sweet face and freckles.
You go on these trips to do good work for others, that is the bottom line. But you are the one who receives the good work. I was measuring these sweet babies feet and looking in their deep dark eyes and making faces at them so they laugh and smile, I had them wiggle their little toes to make sure the shoes worked. I realized today that the stinky feet smell doesn't even bother me; I welcome it, because that means I am a part in helping to make their world better.
Tomorrow is the orphanage, which I know will be amazing and beautiful and hard too, because I will want to bring them all home with me.

For right now, I am headed the the McAllen Wal-Mart, to introduce Ellen and Nancy, two sisters from NYC and Miss Alex from North Dakota, to their very first MOON PIE.
I am out, ya'll.

This weekend I will be in Reynosa, Mexico

2009-08-20T18:42:00.000-07:00

In an orphanage, full of children that were not wanted by their families or were left there because no one could care for them or chose not to. I have been on mission trips before here in the States. And I have been touched and challenged and humbled each time because I realize my life is not as bad as I think it is.
My mom has already said "please do not put one of the children in your suitcase and bring them home", she knows me all too well.
What I want this weekend is to engage with another human being and just offer them love, kindness, patience, gentleness, and the gift of shoes of course, I am going on behalf of Soles4Souls.
And I want to do that here too, at home, the ultimate mission field. Our mission is all around us. In our homes, work, circle of friends, our extended family...our enemies. Those opportunities are everywhere, just waiting for us.

I love Elisabeth Elliot, I used to gobble up anything she wrote, but her writings are very challenging and they cause us to look inward and do some soul searching. So, like the selfish, self-absorbed, busy with my own life person I can be, I avoid them because I don't want to feel that feeling, you know the one where you feel like you aren't doing enough, searching inward enough....

"Here lies the tremendous mystery - that God should be all-powerful, yet refuse to coerce. He summons us to cooperation. We are honoured in being given the opportunity to participate in his good deeds. Remember how He asked for help in performing his miracles: Fill the waterpots, stretch out your hand, distribute the loaves" Elisabeth Elliot

I hope to bring back beautiful, amazing stories...godspeed.

You can't go back, you can only go forward

2009-07-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

I can't change a thing that has already taken place in my life. I can't erase passages of time, nor can I revive them because I wish for something I was or I had. I can move forward one step at a time, and hope and pray that the people on this journey with me can love me when I fall, when I falter, when I am afraid of forging ahead and rejoice when I am filled with joy at the view in front of me as I press on.

Recording Part 2

2009-07-01T10:52:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday we finished up my vocals. I must say that I have recorded before, and this experience EXCEEDED any I have ever had. It was hard work, but joyful and fun, and full of heart. Lionel Cartwright is producing my project and he is doing an AMAZING job!!! Paul "Salvo" Salveson engineered all the vocal sessions and tracking session and he is just WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL!!! My hope and prayer when this is done is that everyone hears and feels the love and prayers and heart put into this.
Oh, and we concluded our day with CHICKEN AND FRIES from Prince's Hot Chicken Shack in Nashville!!!!! HEAVEN.

Recording!!!

2009-06-28T20:43:00.000-07:00

So, tomorrow and Tues, I am cutting my vocals for my new project. Friday we cut all the music and I just have to say WOW, I had some great musicians involved. So, as it is coming together, it is so cool because I can see it as a whole now!!

So, my cat Sassy (my little watchcat) wouldn't let the maintenance guy in my apt today to fix my AC, she hissed at him, bared her teeth and tried to claw his foot, she is my guard kitty....Sassy is the one on the bottom of the pic, her face is covered so that no one recognizes her because she is a secret agent kitty....

Bluebird Cafe Show

2009-06-25T07:32:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, June 23rd, my friends Benita Hill, Lionel Cartwright, Clara Oman and little ole me played a round at the legendary Bluebird Cafe in Nashville and it was an amazing night!!! It just went great and I just want to thank everyone for coming out! It is such a blessing and so humbling to see people come out to hear us sing, and the place was full! There were people who tried to get in but they couldn't....sorry ya'll.

Again, I just want to say that I am so thankful for the opportunities to get to sing and even more grateful for the ones who want to hear it. :)

This is ONE INSPIRING KID!!!

2009-06-23T22:12:00.001-07:00

For most children, a birthday party means one thing….lots of PRESENTS! This is hardly the case for 9 year old Bianca Booher, from Bloomington, Indiana. For her birthday on June 14th, Bianca collected shoes from her friends on behalf of the 300 million children around the world without footwear. Inspired by the TV show “Oprah’s Big Give”, Bianca decided she wanted to give her birthday gifts away to charity. Right before her birthday last year, she saw footage of a home ravaged by floods. She saw a child’s bookshelf full of wet books and this motivated her to collect over 651 books for her birthday to give away to children. After last year’s birthday, she immediately began to get excited about what to collect for future birthdays.

Bianca had a “Barefoot Tween Prom” birthday party, complete with a shoe shaped cake, beautiful dresses, dancing and lots of SHOES. “I had a lot of shoes I couldn’t wear anymore; probably about 7 pairs in my closet, and I asked my friends to bring the shoes that they couldn’t wear to the party. There are a lot of people who don’t have any shoes, and collecting them made me feel really, really good”, said the captivating nine year old.

So far, Bianca has collected over 500 pairs of shoes. Bianca is still collecting shoes at her gymnastics center, where she has been taking gymnastics “since she was born”. She is also preparing for her role as Chip the Teacup in the stage production of Beauty and the Beast. Bianca is thinking about becoming a gymnastics coach or an actress. Presently, she is an inspiring nine year old, changing the world one pair at a time.

If I could do one thing....

2009-06-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

I would be able to go back and see my Dad before he died. In saying that, I need to carry that "one thing" with me every day and cherish and treasure the people I have RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. Sometimes, I really suck at that. Why is it so hard sometimes just to let go of fear and pride and just reach out with love?

I want to be good at that, to love without fear....The Bible says "Perfect love casts out all fear". Is there really perfect love at all?

News!!!

2009-06-14T18:05:00.000-07:00

Good news for me and hopefully for ya'll. I will be working on my music project later on this month and in July!! It has been a long time coming!!! But I am SOSOSOSOSOOO excited, I LOVE the songs and the people I am working with! I will be giving updates when I can!
Enjoy the sunshine!
Tif

Catching up.

2009-05-21T06:58:00.000-07:00

It has been a while. I am not the best blogger. And I really should be, I have been told I write pretty well, and I love doing it. It makes me feel like Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City, because they often have scenes where she is typing and you can hear the words in her head. Just thank God that you can't hear mine.

Next Saturday marks the third wedding I will have participated in over a time span of thirty days. My cousin Sara got married in South Carolina. It was a precious wedding and I spent priceless time with my family. It was such a blessing to get to do that. I love my family so much and the older I get, the more I treasure them. The highlight was probably taking Sara to get her hair done that day and taking her through McDonald's to get a hamburger, because McDonald's has always been her favorite and I used to think she was going to turn into a "Golden Arch". She has always been such a sweet, little simple soul, and the couple of hours we got one on one was the sweetest. The next wedding was my friend Megan's. It was held at Riverwood Mansion, a beautiful place here in Nashville. She was a beautiful bride, and I loved getting to know her family and friends better. I wish her and Ryan all the happiness in the world, Megan has such a kind soul, and there is something very soothing about her presence. I know she is one of those people who will work very hard to make her marriage the best it can be.

I spent 10 days in Ottawa, Canada for Soles4Souls. The charity was a guest of Canadian Tulip Festival, and we participated in a wonderful event called "Shoes and Champagne" that raised money for us. I also discovered some shoe designers that I am in love with: Phil Daluca and Georgina Goodman. It was my first time ever out of the country. I had my little passport with me, my pic looks like a junkyard dog. Canada is a beautiful country. It is so clean; it was a little disheartening for me because the U.S. is so dirty in many places. I also walked everywhere. It was AMAZING. You can't do that here. We should, because I didn't see many overweight people in Canada. But even here, the roadways are not pedestrian friendly. But I still love my country more than anything.

I have read quite a few books in the last month. "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" by Steve Harvey. What a book!!! I was either laughing out loud, or tearing up. He is awesome, and does an amazing job explaining a very simple message all women need to hear. In honor of being in Canada, I read "French Women Do Not Get Fat". Also, a great book. After I had a lovely conversation with a British woman, and watched Canadian women, and read this book. I am more convinced than ever that American Women need to CHILL OUT on the dieting crap. Sure, we need to make good choices and move around, but for some of us, diet and exercise control everything. That is not the way it is meant to be!!!!! I am currently reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. I can't even begin to communicate the message of this little book, but it is one I needed desperately.

My cat ate all the fur off of her front paws due to her anxiety over being separated from me and now has to take Xanax when I am gone. My Sassy doesn't do well when I travel, and this time around, it was bad. I got home, and walked in the door and she just leaned on my arm and purred. I cried. She is better now, and her fur is growing back, but she is the closest thing to a child to me and to see her in a frazzled state hurt me. I love my little furpeople, and they give me such joy.

Ok, there is a recap. I will do better in the next few months, because there will lots of cool stuff for me to write about.

I will leave you with something that I meditating on right now:
Ephesians 2:8-9 "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

FATIMA..A LITTLE LIGHT OF HOPE.

2009-04-15T17:17:00.000-07:00

I went to a fundraiser for the YWCA last week, and was blown away by some of the speakers. As many of you know, the YWCA offers assistance for women of all ages who are suffering from abuse well as many other programs such as adult education, after-school programs for young women, etc. I listened to several women tell their heartbreaking stories of verbal, emotional and physical abuse from their significant others. One woman left after her abuser went to work, with nothing but the clothes on her and her 14 year old son's back. They found shelter, support and counseling at the YWCA. The Y is currently helping this woman transition from the shelter to a home of her own, thanks to their women in transition program.
I listened to a 13 year old girl tell us how Girls, Inc. (the Y's after school program for adolescent and teenage girls)has increased her self-esteem and helps her make better choices at school and with her friends. A mother gave a powerful testimony about losing her own daughter to domestic violence.
10 women in the state of Tennessee DIED from domestic violence related crimes last year.

There was a beautiful young woman from Rwanda that shared her powerful story. She came to this country after she had lost her family in the genocide that occurred in her homeland. She came with $500, and a promise that help would be waiting. She landed in Nashville to find no one at the airport waiting for her. Her cab driver helped her the next day and compassionately opened up his home to help her get on her feet. As if losing your family and leaving your home wasn't enough, Fatima came here only to be disappointed.

I met Fatima in 2006, she was looking for a new place to live, and had a man in her life and a baby on the way. She is beautiful, with sharp, dark eyes and rich deep skin. Her smile goes from east to west. She settled in to her new place and all seemed well. She showed up in my office one afternoon very pregnant only to inform me that the baby's father had changed his mind and did not want a life with her and their baby to be. She was heartbroken; I remembered asking her if she could go back to her family and she whispered "I can't go back". My company was able to let her leave her place without the enormous costs and penalties involved.

This beautiful young woman on the YWCA platform this morning was Fatima! She completed her GED through the YWCA's adult education program and is working, thriving and looking forward to going to college. I was able to catch up and talk to her. I remembered so vividly our conversation that day when she pregnant, abandoned and alone; I had no idea that she really had nothing in Rwanda to go back to. This woman is a survivor. She is resilient, and her inspiring story humbled me.

I want to go back to the YWCA programs a second and just share a few things, this organization is amazing. Their outreach efforts are so powerful! Check out their site at ywca.org.

Religulous...Is a really good documentary

2009-03-22T20:18:00.000-07:00

Maybe I am getting old, but I am starting to enjoy a good documentary. Seeing the stark reality in this form is very raw, gripping and inspiring to me. I saw "Religulous" this week, a documentary filmed by and narrated by Bill Maher. Maher interviews people of different faiths, namely Christians, Mormons, Jews and Muslims as he questions them about their faith, their belief in Creation, in the existence of heaven and hell, their religion's views of peace and war, comparisions of each faith's spiritual leaders, etc.

Maher does not believe in God and is very upfront about that. The film has moments that are hilariously funny, as he catches people unsure of how to answer him, or his responses...he is SO sarcastic. But I have to applaud him because he did his homework, especially on the Bible, and at times, is more educated on the literary facts than the ones he is interviewing. His seeking soul won me over too; this is a man who is almost convinced there is no God, but has taken the time to really dig deep for the answers here. He lets believers pray with and for him. He sees the injustice in women praying in a seperate area in the Muslim temple built in Jerusalem. He is enlightened (for just a moment) with comparision of the Holy Trinity to water,steam and ice(if you were raised in the Bible Belt and went to Bible School...you know what I am talkin bout). He is just so honest about this quest that I can't be angry at him for some of the views he expresses.

I thought about the movie in bed after I watched it and what my repsonse to this movie would have been a few years ago. I would have been outraged, insulted, I probably would have cut the movie off early. But I understand now, more than ever, doubt. Doubt in myself, in God, in everything. I also understand grace, and forgiveness. I understand faith, even though I can't taste it, touch it, see it. I just understand that it is there. I know there is a God who loves me and created me, I don't really know every single minute detail, but I know he did. I believe in Jesus and that he lived and died for me, and because of this I have a relationship with my Creator. I know He hears me, and He cares about everything in my life.

And I can't give you all the historical facts about Jesus, about Creation, or about the future of mankind. But I know that it is so real in my life, and that I also struggle with doubt too.

If anything, I walked away from that movie admiring Bill Maher for digging REAL deep, probably deeper than alot of the leaders he interviewed. I hope he finds something that satisfies the quest he is on. He challenged me to dig deeper so that my words and actions will coincide and speak volumes for the things I cannot explain.

My faith became the most real to me through the love and actions of others, which prompted me to seek more truth from classes and books. Whether or not Maher realizes it, his little movie may be the springboard alot of us need to push into the deep waters of our faith.

Go to Redbox, or Netflix, or Blockbuster and get it. Trust me, if you have an open mind, it won't offend you. If it does, I will give you a dollar for watching it.

Some Twists and Turns, but its all good....

2009-03-09T14:21:00.000-07:00

Right now, I think everyone is experiencing the vulnerable state of our world. You may not be financial trouble right now, but your world is probably affected by it in some way, shape or form. Everyone seems on edge right now, unsure, yep, maybe even freaked out.

It is easy to hide out and run away when things don't look good, but is that really gonna help me? Nope. Even if I haven't felt like it, I have gotten out in the sunshine and joined the human race.

Last Saturday, I rode down to Pulaski, TN and hung out with a good friend of mine. We rode around in the country for almost three hours. I saw the most beautiful swinging bridge over a creek, we stopped on the side of a hill and watched the clouds pass over the valley and you could see the shadow of the clouds; it was breathtaking. I ate a FRIED PIE. It was decadent, to say the least.

I had dinner with two of my dearest friends this past weekend. They are both a little frazzled by the state of our world because they don't necessarily know what is next, but we ate and laughed and talked about life, and it reminded me again that things can come and go, but our relationships and connections are priceless.

I guess what I am trying to say is "don't worry". This is so hard for me, worrying is like water for me. I have literally been a worrying soul since I was in Pampers. But what good will it do me? All I can do is love my family and friends, do good in life, work hard and hang on. I mean, really, that's all we can do. The moments are what matter anyway. Like the sunpatches on the valley that I saw last week, I have to live for those, they are golden. Sure, the clouds will come up, the sun will go away, but it will come back! It's kind of like when you cry yourself to sleep, I always wake up feeling better the next day (I look like hell, but I feel better).
"weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning"

2009-01-28T19:49:00.000-08:00

Who says greatness has to be grandiose?
Maybe it is the touch from a single mother to her child leaving for school in the morning?
Or the smile given to an elderly person sitting alone in a restaurant?
It could be the change that buys a homeless man breakfast.
Maybe it is the warmth coming from the hands that cradle an abandoned puppy?
In that moment, in the lives of those being comforted, IT is enormous, even grandiose.
It is the song they dance to. The incentive to live.
It is greatness.

Heart of Stone Documentary

2009-01-25T10:47:00.000-08:00

As alot of you know, I went to the Sundance Film Festival as a guest of Puma Footwear on behalf of Soles4Souls. Puma had a three foot long sneaker that celebrities signed; the shoe will be auctioned off online and the proceeds will benefit Soles4Souls. It was indeed a very surreal experience, to have conversed with people like Ashley Judd, Mo'Nique, Pierce Brosnan, Jeff Bridges, Michelle Trachtenbug, Susan Saradon, Nick Cannon, Anne Heche..just to name a few, wow.
But the highlight of my week came in the form of a chance meeting with producer Paul Bartick and his teenage son Max, who were waiting in our area to get their photos taken. After we asked each other what brought us both to Sundance, Paul and Max told me about the documentary they were showing at Slamdance (which is a part of Sundance representing more independent projects) I was captivated by the story behind the film, and this incredibly sweet family, and Paul brought us tickets.
The documentary blew me away, it is the true story of one man's mission (Principal Ron Stone) to change the culture of a what once was a prestigious high school in Newark, New Jersey. It highlighted the lives of three students (two of them being the neighborhood leaders of the Crips and Bloods, who are friends thanks to the influence of Principal Stone. The film was just AMAZING, and a reminder of the footprints we can leave in the lives of others. It is also a portrait of a great human being, Ron Stone, who decided to leave his comfortable principal's office and go out into the culture of students and DO life with them.

I am going to attach a link to the trailer for this wonderful film. It won the Slamdance Audience Award for Best Documentary!!!! Yay!!

PLEASE WATCH!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7oW8c6_VLc

So, amidst of glamour and glitz and snow of Park City, UT, I left challenged by this humble film. And reminded that it is what we do as individuals, in the circles around us, that matter the most!

Some little bits and pieces that will make up a BLOG

2009-01-13T08:17:00.000-08:00

Hey Ya'll,
There is a plethora (look it up) of things I want to write about that, so here goes;

1. Livin the Music Benefit/Soles4Souls
Last week, the 501c3 Livin the Music (www.livinthemusic.org)hosted a concert to benefit Soles4Souls at the popular venue 3rd and Lindsley in Nashville. We had over a dozen artists perform at the event as well as participate in three shoe distributions that day. We gave out shoes at Lighthouse Mission Ministries, which runs a rehabilitation program for men who are struggling with alcohol and drug abuse. Then we headed to the International Newcomer Academy, a Metro Schools program for children who are refugees. The Academy tests their literacy, and teaches them English before they mainstream the students into the public school system. The last stop of the day before the concert was at the YWCA. We were able to visit their battered women's shelter and spend time with some very special women and children.
The concert itself was incredibly special, but I enjoyed the distributions the most. Big Machine Recording Artist Adam Gregory joined us for the events and sang at each stop, which was such a treat. The one on one contact with the men and women and children that we gave shoes to will be forever in my mind. I helped one young woman at the school lace her sneakers because she didn't know how. She was 14 years old.
It was a very special day and I was SO glad it went well!

2. Singing "Foreigner" tunes at church.
OK, I am very fortunate to be a part of such a GREAT church(www,hopepark.com) and I am frequently involved in the music there. Last Sunday, I covered the Foreigner tune "I Want To Know What Love Is". It was definitely a hair band moment, the people loved it, I often felt like I needed a perm and bangs while singing it. But I scored some serious points with this volunteer that I have been trying to reach out to for a couple of years. I always smile or say Hi and he just never really responds...being the people pleaser I am, I just keep trying...:)
Well, I walked by him Sunday and HE spoke the ME..."Great song, I loved it".....wow.....
OK, if it takes some hair band power ballads, I am all over it.

3. DEWEY
I just finished the book "Dewey" by Vicki Myron...sniff sniff. If any of you know me, you know how much I love my kitties. This nonfiction book is amazing. It is a MUST read. It is just another simple story about how ordinary people and things can make an extraordinary impact. I cried the last 5 chapters and for a while after I finished it, because it just impacted me SO personally. Please pick it up.

Alrighty then, that's it for now...Hey, FYI I am off to the Sundance Film Festival to represent Soles4Souls with Puma. We are going to have celebrities sign Puma shoes and then have an online auction and all of this will benefit Soles4Souls. So, stay tuned!!!!!!!

Home

2009-01-05T07:53:00.000-08:00

I think the weather messes with my head sometimes. If it is rainy or cold. I just want to be sad, to withdraw to myself. I wish this part of me didn't surface at times, but it does. So, on this cold, rainy day, I am going to polish off this last bit of my melancholy mood and let it go.

Last week, my mom called me with some interesting news. My childhood home, her childhood home, too, had been demolished to the ground and the rest standing was set on fire. It was done on purpose, and I knew it eventually was going to happen. The house has been uninhabitable for a number of years, but the thought of going home and not seeing it there just saddens me.

It was a little farmhouse that my grandparents added on to. To most people, it would not mean much. It wasn't big, nor was it fancy. But for me, it was home. My mom and I moved around so much, and yet, I lived there repeatedly during my childhood, and then in my early twenties, I lived in it's backyard, I could ALWAYS see it.

On the patio, my Papa had a huge freezer, and a washer/dryer. And JUNK. I remember being little and looking at the dead frozen ducks in the freezer....really, what were they doing there? My cousin Davy threw a kittycat in the dryer one time, and we rescued him quickly. The back door was brown, with a window in it. You walked in and there was a kitchen/den combo.
In that den, I had my very own Christmas tree. I made the star with yellow poster board and dressed up like the Virgin Mary and wrapped my bean bag baby Jennifer up in swaddling towels as the baby Jesus. I have a picture of this.
The kitchen had beautiful wooden cabinets in it, and one night I saw the biggest mouse...RAT in my life on the counter.

There was a long hallway that led to bedrooms and the front of the house. My papa used to stand at one end, and growl at me...."GRRRR...I'm the boogaman...." I would squeal with delight.

The front left bedroom was MINE. My mama painted it a baby blue and moved my canopy bed in it, and I woke up in that pretty little room and I felt like a Paxville Princess. I prayed for Mr. Franklin, the man who laid the dark blue carpet down, for 3 years...God Bless Mr. Franklin.

There was a door with a window that led to the "formal" living room, and every Christmas they taped the face of Santa Claus inside it....He was always watching me. I would stand in front of the wall heater across from that door to warm up after bathtime...I burnt my baby doll's hair there drying her off too.

Every Christmas, there was a huge tree in the living room, and a stocking for every child, and grandchild, on the mantle. That was a lot, because my mom was one of six...so let's count. Nanny, Papa, Uncle David, Aunt Cherry, Uncle Dan, Momma, Aunt Betsy, Uncle Matt, Uncle Steve, Aunt Terri, Aunt Carolyn, Uncle Johnny, Cousin Jenny, Me, Cousin Stacie, Cousin Davy...there more added later...

Upstairs there was an a-frame bedroom that my cousin Stacie and I shared in middle school. One night, we attempted to sneak out, of course, I was too much of a chicken to climb down the ladder. However, I did manage to fall down the staircase without a broken bone.

Wow, the memories. I could go through the yard too, and recall every bump, bruise, puppy and kitty...I am so full of emotions right now. My heart is so happy to hold memories like this, and sad too, it was where I really called home, and it won't be there next time. But I am so lucky to have had something like this in my life, not everyone does.

On my nannies tombstone is the quote, "Let me live in a house by the side of the road, and be a friend to man" A plaque with this inscription hung on the kitchen wall, and my momma now has it. I remember this house always full of good food and laughter, family and friends. Yes, this was and always will be...Home.

The Heart

2008-12-08T21:15:00.000-08:00

The heart that lives inside of me has always known love.
It has been sheltered from the world at times, yet it has known pain and hardship.
It has tasted bitterness and allowed criticism and judgement to creep in.
The heart that lives inside of me has known sadness and failure.
It has longed for love and acceptance.
Regret has seeped in as well.
The heart that lives inside of me has felt so alone, and fearful.
It has known peace and solitude.
It has felt complete and whole even after I thought it never would again.
The heart that lives inside of me finally understands grace, because I have felt it.
This heart is hopeful for all that lies ahead.
It is thankful for what is has felt, good and bad, in the past.
This heart is bigger, deeper and stronger.

Happiness

2008-11-21T08:18:00.001-08:00

So, this morning I was heading out the door and saw SNOW FLURRIES!!! Yes, really! It made me so excited and happy and it was gone in basically 5 minutes. But when I was little every Christmas the weatherman for the local NBC affiliate would HOPE for snow, and talk it up, but we never got it. I can remember sitting Indian-style in front of the TV just bursting with excitement over the mere possibility of the white stuff coming my way. I would look out the window for snow, and Santa Claus, and just WISH WISH WISH for it.
That is how I felt this morning....I love that simple things that bring me joy like like that, and I pray they always do.

A Few of My Favorite Things...

2008-11-12T19:09:00.000-08:00

This is not a deep, insightful blog, I just wanted to list a couple things in life that make me smile and make me happy. We are entering a time of year that gifts are given and received, and sometimes the things that mean the most are not in boxes and bows, but given other ways....

1. MY KITTIES...I have two babies, Sassy and Fancy, when the weather gets chilly, they get EXTRA loving, my favorite is early morning when they cuddle with me and I can hear them purring...This is love...

2. I have to take a BATH...there is NOTHING like a hot bubble bath with the phone nearby in case I need it, and a Coke Zero....HEAVEN. This seriously helps me sleep...and smell better.

3. A NIGHT OUT WITH A GOOD FRIEND. There is nothing like going to the mall with one of my girlfriends or out to dinner...talking and laughing over a good meal or while looking at the newest handbags ...coming up for air while we talk a million miles an hour. Having moments where we bond deeply, or moments where I am laughing SO hard I almost pee my pants....LOVE IT!

4. PERFUME...I have always loved it, I love all the different notes of a fragrance and the power scent has. A single smell can make me remember so much (The smell of Coast soap makes me think of my Daddy). Currently, I am loving Gucci perfume, and I love, love, love the smell of Johnson's Baby Lotion.

5. COFFEE...year round is my favorite, but especially right now, there is nothing like a warm cup of coffee when it's cold outside.

6. WAYNE...My sweet, crazy man. My friend, my love, my support....I love when we hang out, when we play cards...he is a sore loser. I love to be able to join in the awesome things he is doing for people with Soles4Souls...he makes me so proud and I am in awe of the amazing things he has accomplished. I love how much he loves people and cherishes relationships. He makes me laugh over the silliest things...he imitates me and it is hilarious and also frightening if I really sound that way. He shows his love for me with his actions...not just his words.

7. MY ROOTS...no, not my hair, but where I am from. My little small town, Paxville, SC. All my aunts, uncles and cousins....the fact that I had such a special network of people around me as I grew up that instilled so many things in me like love, family, fellowship, hard work, my faith...just to name a SMALL few.

That's it for now. There is more where that came from, I will blog some more later on...Have a great THANKSGIVING!

2008-11-07T14:03:00.000-08:00

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day about how our society is obsessed with what is going on in the lives of others. Sites like facebook and twitter are overrun with people just "seeing what you are up to". Blog sites are increasingly popular with bloggers and blog readers as people use their freedom of speech to communicate whatever they want to and others read it voraciously.

I promise to never use my forum in ways that will hurt others, whether knowingly or unknowingly. I truly believe that forums and platforms are meant to inform, educate, uplift and enlighten others, they should never be instruments that try to damage people. Love and light are the greatest tools we have, and I want to always give those away in abundance.

I discovered this quote below earlier this year and have just fell in love with it. It sums it all up. it was authored by a woman who has seen alot and pain and tragedy in her life, and continues to live with dignity and purpose, not lashing out at others. I want to spend my time building up, not tearing down, loving without condemnation, and continuously moving forward through this journey.

"Life is rarely what we expect it might be, but we need to look for the lilies. We need to do what brings us joy and gives us a sense of purpose"
Elizabeth Edwards

Use your voice...powerfully...peacefully...purposefully...with love.

Send Soles4Souls your shoes!

2008-10-19T21:02:00.001-07:00

Soles4Souls, a shoe charity located in Nashville, TN, will be constructing the world's LARGEST tower of shoes in the center court of Opry Mills Mall during the Holiday Season! The tower will be on display from November 5th-December 31st, the Guinness Book of World Records will even be checking in to record the numbers. Please contribute to this because there are roughly 300 million children worldwide without shoes!!
That is a sobering thought considering all the shoes in my closet that I don't wear!! For more information about drop off locations and shipping guidelines, please go to www.giveshoes.org.

September 29, 2008....

2008-09-29T21:20:00.000-07:00

Today was not the funnest day. It was Monday to begin with. Of course, as I complain to my mom on the phone that it is Monday and I am stressed out I pass Vanderbilt Childrens Hospital and there is an adolescent boy on the lawn in a wheelchair enjoying the sunshine...so I shut up quickly.

I then went to meet my friend Tami for dinner. My mind is full of the images I saw on the news today. The stock market, the bailout failure, I am worried about the economy, my job security, how will I take care of myself and my mom, if and when that need arises. I tend to be a "downer" at times, I prefer to call it being a "realist". My ever so optimistic man is starting to rub off just a little on me. I almost canceled tonight and just went home by myself. But thankfully, I didn't.

Here is what I would have missed if I had:
1. Seeing that little boy at the hospital...a gentle reminder that life is not as bad as it seems, that there is always someone who suffers more than we will know, and in spite of any circumstance we are in..sunshine seems to make everything a little easier to deal with.

2. Snorting more times than I can count at my crazy friend from Savannah who grew up alot like me and understands that going barefoot in public places will not kill you, although it is not a desirable trait, that there are coupons to be found for everything on earth and the best lip gloss shade should just be named "LIP".

3. Finally getting to try hair extensions on and wondering WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING??? Ouch....

4. Listening to Delilah as I drove home and hearing a husband call in to request a song and let his wife know that even though he can't always verbalize how much he loves her, he does with all his heart and soul. Setups like that make a love song EVEN better...

So, that is my blog for today, Monday September, 29, 2008.

Assorted New Stuff

2008-09-06T12:13:00.000-07:00

Hey Ya'll,

I can't believe the year is flying by like this. Wow. So much has happened, 2008 has really been an amazing year for me, personally and professionally. ALL AROUND, it has been LOVELY!!

I just had the opportunity the last week of August to go to my hometown of Manning, SC to the school district I grew up in and give out a pair of shoes to every child in the Manning Early Childhood Center courtesy of Soles4Souls. Clarendon County has a poverty index of 80.6%, 71% of the children in the county live in single parent homes and this part of the state is along the I-95 corridor, where the median poverty index is 82.7%.

The children's ages ranged from 3 years old to first grade, and it was such an amazing day! I met so many beautiful children, and got to fit them with a new pair of clogs that they could wear. I saw, tickled, and touched tons of little toes and feet and got millions of hugs and kisses and sweet moments with the kids. It was a great opportunity and I owe a BIG thank you to the volunteers, teachers and staff of MECC, especially Betty Harrington, the principal.

I was reminded that day how powerful the human touch is. The kids had never seen me before and some of them were so shy, but taking the time to stop and chat with them and reach out to them was eye opening to me, they warmed up so quickly.

I will now be working with Soles4Souls more as a spokesperson, something I am honored and thrilled to be doing!

Have a great weekend, more later...
Tif

Magic Shoes

2008-07-31T21:19:00.000-07:00

I love shoes, what girl doesn't? It is so funny that I am active in an organization that provides footwear to people all over the world because long ago a pair of shoes was linked to something important in my own life.
I was six years old, and after Momma heard me sing along with the radio and TV jingles long enough, she saw that maybe she had a little singer on her hands. I remember going to Miss Betty McLeod's home in Paxville (she lived in a brick ranch house and I thought it was a mansion, she also had a picture of Elvis on her nightstand, which I thought was pretty cool), and rehearsing the song "Somewhere over the Rainbow" while her daughter Debbie played the piano. There was such a fuss made about it, and Momma found a gingham dress, and we parted my hair down the middle and braided each side, and I held a little basket with a stuffed puppy dog inside (Toto, if you have not already guessed).

And the shoes... They were my Buster Brown Mary Janes. Momma spread glue all over them and rolled them in red glitter, and with that I had my ruby slippers, my magic shoes.

The annual Striped Bass Festival was going on the big metropolis of Manning, SC and they had entertainment on the court house steps all weekend. Saturday morning was my big debut. They sat me on the edge of the baby grand on stage with the basket in my hand and I sang my heart out. That began a string of beauty pageants, and each time I won with my "Somewhere over the Rainbow" performance.
Momma has those shoes still, in a ziploc bag with my keepsakes and many other costumes.

Soles4Souls, (www.giveshoes.org) states that a "pair of shoes can change someone's life", I totally agree.

Making Believe

2008-06-30T20:12:00.000-07:00

Walking into a restaurant today I saw a young girl with her mother clutching a baby doll. She held the doll close to her chest, cradling her head and her eyes were bright. It took me back to the times when I was little, and had my "babies" that I played pretend with . I had dollbabies that would drink bottles and cry tears, and when I was playing with them, they came alive and I became mommy. I had beautiful blonde Barbie dolls with gorgeous gowns, outrageous blue eyes and pink corvettes, with a mansion and a beautiful boyfriend named Ken. The idea of making believe, pretending you were mommy, or a cowboy, or a beautiful princess could keep you busy for hours on end, and hope of "making believe" made us anticipate the future.

Making Believe...what a concept. It is thought to be an escape, or an exercise of our imagination when we are younger. When we are older, "making believe" can be negative, like we are avoiding reality. But is it really all that bad to make believe...to force yourself to have hope in something...to produce something that you can trust.

Maybe making believe could actually help us reach dreams we are scared to try and attain, or keep us brave when we are scared of falling apart. When I was a little chunky 4th grader, I was brave and strong when I pretended to be a graceful horse trainer princess (yes, I was a three dimensional character), and I had the chutzpah to try things that normally scared me (like the monkey bars). But in those moments, making believe helped me. Or when I was on stage singing as a little girl and my momma would tell me to "make believe" all the people in the audience had polka-dotted underwear on. That thought in my mind kept me so busy I forgot to be so nervous.

That little girl today touched me so deeply. Her eyes were bright, her smile was big, and her steps were light, she made me remember...

...MAKE YOURSELF BELIEVE...

Red

2008-06-15T18:46:00.000-07:00

So, I have a story for you.

Outside of my apartment building in the parking lot sits a 1973 Ford F100 pickup truck. It was probably once a vivid red color, now faded to orangey-reddish hue, with assorted dents and rust spots that serve as bullet wounds of the life it has led. It cranks up and can go, although I have let it warm up before I go somewhere in it. Red came into my life at a time when I needed family close to me, and a reminder that the stop in the story of my life at the time was not the finishing point, just a pothole.

About 6 years ago, I began a love affair with old pickup trucks. I was travelling quite bit so I saw some awesome ones. I always loved the beat-up trucks. They reminded me of my Dad, a Ford man until his death in 2002, and he always had pickups. I was drawn to them and thought that one day, I would try to get one for myself.

In my South Carolina hometown of 234 people is where I first met Red. I began to notice him in Bobby's backyard when I would visit my mom and I would always ask Bobby to let me drive him, and he would say No every time. So, when I would go home to see Momma, I would always "cut" the block and check to see if Red was still there.

In July 2006, I went home to see Momma and she said that Bobby wanted to see me. I got excited about the possibility of maybe finally driving Red, let alone entertaining the idea of owning him, So we made the drive to Paxville and went to visit. We all chatted for a while and then Bobby and I went outside to see Red. We cranked him up, it took a while at first, and we drove him around the block. No power steering, no AC, no radio. Just me and Bobby and a comfortable silence except for the unusually loud muffler.

Back at the house after the ride, I asked Bobby if I could buy Red. He looks at me and then smiles that fabulous smile, and says, sure, it will cost you a quarter...

I begin to cry, so did Momma and Bobby's wife Sharon. It was one of those moments that I will never forget. I have a picture of me handing Bobby a quarter from that day. He signed the title over to me and in September 2006, Red made the pilgrimage to Nashville and his new home.

I don't drive Red a lot. But when I do, it is calm and peaceful. No radio, in fact I usually sing at the top of my lungs, and I take him down back roads where the traffic is sparse. He is "Home" to me, a reminder of where I came from and all that I hold dear. My family, my roots, my small-town upbringing. He smells like my Daddy when he would come to get me on Friday afternoons after he had been farming all day. There have been nights I sat in Red and just cried on his shoulder.

So that is the story of me and Red. My little piece of Paxville here in Nashvegas.